Hello and I am in a mess.

sort_me_own_yard_out

Hello,

I am a working single mum to 2 children aged almost 7 and almost 12 who has been on my own for 7 years. In that 7 years I have moved a number of times after being asked to leave the married quarter I lived in with my ex husband.

In the first 4 years of being on my own I moved 3 times and managed to run up debts of around 32k. A lot of this was accumulated through fees and interest, the guilt of not having a proper family has made me want to provide everything we was able to provide before we split and the cost of moving made things worse.

When the day came that I didn't even have enough money to put food on the table I went and sought an IVA. This was never ever a realistic option, it was pushed through in 6 weeks and failed within 9 months. That was 2.5 year ago.

Other than a letter from a company to inform me that Lloyds have sold my debt on and it wont effect me in any way as it will be dealt with by my IP. I have never ever had a letter or phone call from my creditors. which I find rather odd. I also didnt realise I would still have an IP.

As you can imagine half of me hopes that it will just disappear but i know it wont and will bite me on the ar*e soon enough. I have since the IVA have a tax credit overpayment of around 5K,2.5k in catalogues and 1.2k in gas and electric arrears.

I think Bankruptcy is the way forward but fear that i cant afford the fees.

life is just a mess, I feel like a really bad parent as not only they dont have their dad around I cant give them what I think they deserve. sat in tears now!!

I value any advise as I have been reading through the forums for some time so what do you think, is bankruptcy the way forward for me? how long do you think it would be before my creditors get onto me? can my tax credit debt be taken into consideration and will the court contact my land lord?

Thanks in advance
D

Maizy

Hi there and a huge welcome to you.

I would recommend you read the sticky threads and then contact one of the debt charities for free advice. It is very odd they haven't contacted you, was the full 32k on the IVA?

Firstly, take a step back and look at the bigger picture as its important to know you are not alone. We ALL have made mistakes in our lives and all wish things may have panned out a little differently. Thankfully me and my OH are still together but we feel immense guilt for not seeing this coming, for having to give up our beautiful family home a few years back to downsize to a house that turned out to cause more grief than you can imagine. I in particular carry that guilt as we have moved several times, each time its cost us but each time we thought we were doing the right thing. All in all we were releasing equity to pay off debt created because we tried to be good parents and other reasons too. We live and learn. We went BR 6 months ago and whilst non of this is easy, we know its the best thing for us for a clean start.

Tax credits as far as Im aware can be included providing its not been proven as an over payment due to fraud but Im no expert so seek proper advice you will feel better. Non of your creditors can hurt you and you can wipe the slate clean and start to re-build your life with BR but you MUST make sure its your better option as it really is a last resort. Do you think they haven't contacted you because you moved etc?????

Put everything out in front of you, all you owe, all the things that are causing you problems as I know how much emotionally debt can affect us. Seek the advice & ask about help with BR fees, you should find this info somewhere on the forum, someone may post a link. Are you able to manage your finances without this debt looming?, if not is there other things you can get help with, maybe the MSE boards can advise you or your local CAB.

Try not to bury your head or engross yourself in those tears, get them out then be strong as you are and deal with this c**p as that is what it is, debt creates a huge cloud for many of us and BR is a way of dealing with it and moving on. You have taken a very brave step so be proud of yourself, you clearly want to do something about it. I'm a great believer that all of life's issues can be sorted if we have the desire & I don't just mean debt either. Once the debt has gone, other things can fall nicely into place.

Good luck.

PippaGirl_2

D, you are very fortunate as you are eligible for assistance from the British Legion. They have specialist advisors of their own who can meet with you, go through your finances and offer you advice as to the best or most suitable options for you. Should BR be your decision, British Legion will pay the fees if you cannot afford it. Be blessed!

sort_me_own_yard_out

Thank you for your replies.

The IVA was in this address and a company who bought a debt from Lloyds have written to me to inform that they had bought the debt. Its all rather odd that part of it.

I will contact the British Legion although I feel such a fraud as they do such great work for far worthy people.

thank you