WFI (work focused interview)

atrixblue.-MFR-.

i got my first WFI tommorrow, i'm really panicking (like i do most times i have to enter a public crowded space and meet a stranger), my partner has told me that i have to attend wich i really really dont feel i can i hate being forced into things and my routine out of synq.

when meeting strangers i freeze into myself, i cant help it nor stop myself either, so if i do attend i know for a fact i wouldnt be able to say anything! and staying put will be a massive problem, i may end up just walking out no warning in middle of a meeting if i can get myself through the doors to attend.

i dont want to offend anyone there its not my intention, and i'm scared if i dont talk or just walk out ill lose my entitlement.

viv0147

Well of course you will lose your benefits! So why don't you take someone you trust with you as a spokesman and they will be able to explain your situation and maybe give you a little confidence.

just_trying

You must attend or you will loose your benefits it will clearly state that on the letter. It's no big deal they will just ask you if you are going to be looking for work no pressure and you will be lucky if it lasts 10 minutes. They put no pressure on you, you will be in and out in no time. Try not to worry it is no big deal really.

atrixblue.-MFR-.

viv0147 wrote: »

Well of course you will lose your benefits! So why don't you take someone you trust with you as a spokesman and they will be able to explain your situation and maybe give you a little confidence.

i'm taking my partner with me, but it wont be of use when my head pops and i need to get out of there.

Anubis_2

Can you not ring them and see if it's possible to be done over the phone? Probably a little late now though. I totally understand your panic. My method for dealing with such situations is imagining everyone to be in the buff, like a humourus (non sexual) cartoon strip

You could also picture them having a go at this http://www.swapmeetdave.com/Humor/Farts.htm - anything that makes you smile and realise they are human and no different or superior to you

nannytone_2

i had a wfi on 1st may .... but something came up, and an hour before the wfu i phoned and asked to postpone. about 10 minutes later, the phone rang and my advisor offered to do it over the phone.
maybe i just have a good advisor?

Elvisia

It sounds as though you suffer from social anxiety and panic attacks, you should really go see your GP and ask for some help, they do CBT sessions that will give you some ways to cope. Otherwise if you do get an interview, you'll find you're too stressed to make it through it, and having a job will be a nightmare.

I think this is a far bigger picture you need to address than just one meeting.

For advice on how to cope with the meeting tomorrow, get there early so you're not rushed, and try to think about how the whole thing will go well. If you imagine a worse case scenario your brain is programmed to make you feel panicky and bad. Perhaps tell your advisor you're feeling quite stressed about it? The anxiety you'll feel won't kill you, you're not going to die, or be sick, or faint, you'll just feel panicky but you'll breathe, relax your shoulders, and wait and it'll pass. Really - it can't actually kill you even though it feels like it will do at the time. It's just a charge of adrenaline shooting through you which is why you walk out, because your body perceives it's being attacked so it literally escapes the scene.

I had one advisor who used to talk utter b*ll*ocks in meetings, I'd reply to a question and he'd not realise he'd asked me a question or he just couldn't seem to understand what I was saying. A while later I happened to be speaking to the person I signed on with who knew the advisor, and said he was terrified of people and got so stressed he was totally unable to remember what he'd just said and couldn't compute what anyone said to him! What marvellous qualities for a WFI advisor to have!

Foxy16

Hi atrixblue, sorry you are so anxious about this, I just hope you can make it and get an advisor like I had, I got myself in a right state as well, but he was fantastic, so caring and kind, several times I had to fight back tears. He was understanding and put no pressure on me at all. I have even agreed to go and see him again, even though he said this is my choice and not obligatory. Good luck, Diane

FBaby

Surely if you annoys any situation that makes you anxious how are you ever going to get better? ask you need to do is show up.you might be useless but this is the first step to getting better. It might not be so bad and next time you'll be less anxious. surely you don't expect a life on benefits without ever having to challenge your anxieties and try to go better.

epitome

nannytone wrote: »

i had a wfi on 1st may .... but something came up, and an hour before the wfu i phoned and asked to postpone. about 10 minutes later, the phone rang and my advisor offered to do it over the phone.
maybe i just have a good advisor?

That's the understatement of the year.

epitome

Attrix,
The meeting will be a total of about 50 minutes with some waiting time. You will see two people, the first for 10 mins will check your docs and ask you to sign the form, check it through make sure it is all correct.

The second for 30 mins will talk you thorugh their services & get you to agree what you will do to find work and what hours of the day you would be willing to work. Don't agree to anyhing you don't want to do, but you must agree to be available for work 40 hours a week and you must agree to do 3 things each week to find work.

I for example would not agree to phone the jobseekers direct to check for vacancies, because it is an expensive 0845 number and I would be better able to search myself on the directgov website, and using the jobpoints in the jobcentre.

I also would not agree to applying for jobs everyday. (you don't have to)
I would agree to enquiring speculatively or applying for actual jobs 3 times per week, I would tell them that if I managed to do more than that it would be all well and good but I will not agree to be required to do more than that because of the current lack of jobs at the moment, making this impractical.

I also would not agree to looking in newspapers, I consider them expensive and dirty things and just a waste of paper. If I happen to see some in the library, all well and good, but I will not buy them.

One step at a time Attrix good luck.