My sons GF has anorexia/bulimia ? and asked me to help . Don't know what to do !

mandi

Hi,

I could really do with some advice please guys .

My son came home in a bit of a state today and confided in me that his GF has an eating disorder which she blurted out on Friday after a few too many .



He said that on the days she eats she makes herself sick afterwards , but then goes for days eating very little and spends hours in the gym .

Her sister has approached my son concerning her worries, he in turn as asked me and I don't know what to tell him .

His GF has said that she will never forgive him if he tells anyone , but he is so worried about her .

Can anyone help me advise him please .

LadyMorticia

This is a hard one.

As someone with a long history of Anorexia, I would have reacted the same way as your son's GF, but only because people with eating disorders tend to be ashamed and want to hide what they do to themselves.

What I will say though is that in the height of an eating disorder, the sufferer doesn't tend to see what they are doing as wrong or even unhealthy, so they don't want people interfering. It's only when (if, in some cases) they come to realise that they have a problem, that they begin to appreciate the help of those around them.

I have brain fog at the moment so can't write alot, but I'll come back soon when my brain is clearer to offer better suggestions etc, if that is okay?

:grouphug:

mandi

LadyMorticia wrote: »

This is a hard one.

As someone with a long history of Anorexia, I would have reacted the same way as your son's GF, but only because people with eating disorders tend to be ashamed and want to hide what they do to themselves.

What I will say though is that in the height of an eating disorder, the sufferer doesn't tend to see what they are doing as wrong or even unhealthy, so they don't want people interfering. It's only when (if, in some cases) they come to realise that they have a problem, that they begin to appreciate the help of those around them.

I have brain fog at the moment so can't write alot, but I'll come back soon when my brain is clearer to offer better suggestions etc, if that is okay?

:grouphug:

LM I really would appreciate it when the brain fog clears . Sleep well

Thank you so much :kisses3:

Savvy_Sue

I'm sure LM will be a lot more help than I can be, but one thing I'm fairly sure of is that neither you nor your son can 'fix' this for his g/f. If she doesn't flatly deny what she said when she'd had a few too many, then he could gently encourage her to see her GP. If she's tried this route in the past and didn't get a response she found helpful, then encouraging her to try again is probably the first thing.

But he needs to know it's a long road with no certain outcome.

Just remembered, there was an item on Woman's Hour about this not so long ago, see if this helps at all?

mandi

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

I'm sure LM will be a lot more help than I can be, but one thing I'm fairly sure of is that neither you nor your son can 'fix' this for his g/f. If she doesn't flatly deny what she said when she'd had a few too many, then he could gently encourage her to see her GP. If she's tried this route in the past and didn't get a response she found helpful, then encouraging her to try again is probably the first thing.

But he needs to know it's a long road with no certain outcome.

Just remembered, there was an item on Woman's Hour about this not so long ago, see if this helps at all?

Thanks ever so much for the link Savvy . You have no idea how much I appreciate it


Listening now .

amyloofoo

If she's not prepared to ask for help when she's sober then there's really nothing you or anyone else can do. It sounds hard, but I speak from experience on this one. Maybe all you can do for now is support your son whilst he asks her if she remembers what she said and if it's something she's prepared to talk about / seek help for. If she agrees then maybe you'll be able to take a more active role in supporting her recovery, but as yet it really doesn't sound like she's acknowledged her issues. It's put you in a horrible position and I really feel for you, please keep us updated with how the situation turns out.

siaoeh

I'm sorry I haven't got any personal experience to share as such, but in a professional capacity I had come across this organisation before and I hope it might be able be of some help
http://www.b-eat.co.uk/