Where to start....

maninthemirror

Hi everyone, Im new so please be kind!

I havent paid my credit cards, loans and other debts for at least 3 years. I was struggling with depression and in a bad relationship so I kind of got myself in a mess and buried my head in the sand.

I bought my flat 3yrs ago. Its only shared ownership but I got on the ladder and at the time my credit rating was gleaming and so was able to get a good mortgage.

Met a man and it all went downhill....he moved in and gambled away all my money. He didnt pay his way and I was too stupid to say anything at the time. We had a baby last year and thats when I realised what a mug I was being. I realised I was in a mess and was doing all kinds of work whilst on maternity to try and get extra cash to help. Sometimes I was up and awake for days at time, looking after my newborn and doing freelance stuff when he was asleep. I was getting all the letters about unpaid bills and just ignoring them. Maybe the bank etc have given up trying to get it back from me...

Father of the baby was just in bed playing poker for 3yrs really. Even when he did work, I didnt see any of it. He was a real bully so I was scared to even mention my misery.

Anyway, I got rid of the thorn in my side last December with help from my family. Its been very hard, especially with a young baby. I work full time and earn a decent salary. More than half goes on childcare, but I cant stay at home because I have mortgage to pay. Like working as well, I like the independance. Its a struggle but I want to be a good role model for my son.

I really need to sort out my debts BUT I dont even know who I owe, how much etc. How can I find all this out without contacting them directly? I dont really want to phone everyone to ask, which will then put me on their radar. Would like to find out and then write to them to propose something? Is that the best way? I just really want to get my life on track now and this will be a big step towards it.

I havent heard anything so far from HSBC who I owe about £10K to. But Im sure they will come knocking soon....HELP!

tell_it_how_it_is

You might be as well signing up for Noddle, so you can gain free access to the credit report they have on you, and take it from there.

There are others available, such as Experian, although they tend to charge a small fee.

jon1965

Not always a good idea to sign up to a credit agency as it may alert your creditors to where you live. When were the loans etc taken out?

pippitypop

Agree with the previous post, get a copy of your credit report so you can see how much debt you owe.I would then write to them to them offering them a payment plan.

tell_it_how_it_is

Your post suggests you would like to sort this out in some way, so, as you're unsure of what you owe and to whom, grabbing a credit report is actually the sensible first step to take.

Once you do get your credit report, it might then be worth considering arranging a meeting with CAB or CCCS, who can help out with advice, plans and contact going forward. It probably won't be as daunting as it sounds. Good luck.

dancingfairy

Hi. I would start by doing an SOA (statement of affairs). There's one on the makesenseofcards website. Make sure it is a realistic budget and includes everything you are likely to need to pay out for during the year.
This will give you an idea of how much you have 'spare' for debt repayment. The amount to go towards debt repayments will, to some extent determine what action is going to be best for you.
You will though at some point need to get hold of your credit records to see how much you owe and to who. At this point you will probably want to write to them all and offer them a payment plan. National Debtline or CCCS or CAB can help with setting up a payment plan and people on here can advise you on this as well.
Best of Luck
df

Horseunderwater

Have you kept any statements or correspondence re these debts? If yes, gather then together and sort into each one ie all HSBC or Santander or whoever they are with. Then get a free credit report if you can. I assume they know where you live anyway as you had the mortgage before and while you spent the money on the CC's.
I am surprised that they have not taken you to court by now if you really have not paid them all for 3 years. The very least you possibly have lots of CCJ's in your name now and these can also accrue further debt and court bailiffs can get involved and it can be a real mess to sort it out. So you need to urgently find out just how nad the mess really is. And it might involve Bankruptcy and thus losing your flat. Not nice I know, but CAB should be able to help you to get it into some order.

maninthemirror

Thanks everyone - sorry for slow reply but my little boy hasnt been very well the last few days, so havent had chance to get online until now.

I do definitely want to get it sorted out - I dont want to try and get out of the debt and would really like to take action and get some kind of plan together. Its just that really I have buried my head in the sand and so I have no letters or anything about who I owe and how much. The letters used to just go in the bin. I have a few bits of correspondence regarding some, so I guess I will have to get a credit report as some of you suggest. Once I have that I can sit down properly and make a plan of some kind. I just dont really know how Im going to do it...I earn a decent salary but over half my earnings go on childcare to be honest. I am already in the red before Ive even had chance to buy groceries. I have managed to survive with a bit of help from parents and I have also done freelance work at night...but I cant keep doing it as Im getting so run down. Its not like Im doing extra to pay bills...Im doing extra work to last the month.

So I think I probably need to try and look for a better job too....that will obviously make a huge difference and enable me to have excess cash to pay off the debts. I get about £2015 a month salary and my childcare is £1275. Mortgage/Rent for shared ownership flat is £849. Council tax is £112. So by the time Ive paid those things, money is all gone! :(

I then get child bens (£81), working tax credit (£175). But that doesnt stretch far...

My parents told me I could go live with them but I worked so hard to get my flat in the first place, and would feel like such a failure! I dont want my ex to have destroyed it all for me. I want to fight back and get everything in good order, like it used to be before I met him.

BUT first thing is to get the report....sigh.

mandymoo86

have you thought of maybe renting your flat out for 12 month hun and move in with your parents to ease money troubles a bit (you might even be able to make a bit of money from it) then at least the morgage wouldnt be in your debt too that could be a start and dont feel like a failure by the sounds of it you made a bad choice i have also done this but you are trying to put it right thats all that counts chin up

theoretica

Your child care does seem very high. Do you/are you able to get vouchers from your employer to pay this from before you tax pay? Have you explored cheaper options?

maninthemirror

Thanks - I guess it could be a good idea to rent the flat for a while. I'll have another chat with my folks and see what they think about it. Ive got a lot to sort out but Im sure I'll get there eventually....just need to rack my brains for some ideas! x