Funerals

duchy

Interesting morning today. I was helping a neighbour make funeral arrangements.

His first thought was to use a funeral director two minutes walk from his home -before we went I made a quick call to our local Co-op funeral services (I'd never used them but was impressed with them when I'd done a mystery shop/audit on them) and got a quote so we had a basis for comparison.

The first one was not only more expensive for the exact same services but also wanted a far larger deposit (like many people the funeral will come from an insurance policy) and I was gobsmacked that they wanted £80 for 25 service sheets-(not printed on solid gold). After some thought we then went to the Co-op for the same discussion and overall the price and the way the staff conducted themselves was so much better.

It's food for thought-many people wouldn't be comfortable "shopping around" for a funeral or would even feel it was disrespectful to and end up with worry about affording the funeral or even the deposit whilst waiting for insurances to pay out.

The thought of prepaying mine to remove that pressure from my family is definitely something I'm now seriously considering. I wouldn't want anyone feeling they needed to pay for an expensive coffin for example -so if I've already made those decisions and taken care of the payment I think it would be far easier on them

kingfisherblue

Several years ago, a friend's dad died suddenly. His family did not know whether he preferred burial or cremation. Their distress over this, on top of his death, prompted me to talk to my parents about their wishes.

My mum and dad then decided to pre-pay their funerals, and 'shopped around' for a company that we felt comforatable with. They chose a small chain with a local branch. I have to say that when my dad died, they were fantastic. They made a very difficult time much easier.

Duchy, I think that you have made an important point about cost differences. Whilst cheaper isn't necessarily better, it can be! I hope that everything goes as well as can be expected for your neighbour, and I hope that he or she appreciates what a good neighbour they have in you.

Amanda65

I was at a very interesting presentation recently by a representative of the Quaker Society who have done quite a lot of work in this area. The main problems seem to be that there is not a funeral ombudsman so there is nowhere to go if there is a problem for mediation and that there is a pressure to give the deceased 'a good send off' which is often judged by the amount of money spent !

With funerals costing so much (£7k was thrown out as a not unusual figure :eek:), increased crematorium costs due to EU legislation regarding smoke pollution and work that has had to be done to rectify this and the fact that the bereaved don't always think straight at such an emotional time, it really can be a real drain on finances. Their advice was always to phone round for two or three quotes, and don't get talked into buying more services than you need or want

duchy

£7000 sounds a lot.

A quotation from today started at £3K for a cremation with a standard coffin and all the disbursements. Extra cars were quoted at between £250 and £350 per car but some of the coffin prices were eyewatering-prices started at a couple of hundred up to several thousand. There were also cheaper cardboard coffins.

(This is SE England so not a cheaper area I'm sure)

Amanda65

The £7k did, I believe, include flowers and the wake and several cars etc. and as you say, some of the coffins run into thousands

juliep123

It's a good job your neighbour had you to phone round.It must be very difficult when you're recently bereaved.
Although it's not a nice thought it's a good idea to let your family know your wishes in advance - it could save a lot of heartache in the future.
Jules

londonsurrey

I used the Coop just over 2 years ago. Location was London. £2k included one car, and the cheapest coffin. The cardboard coffin actually cost more!

BTW get a Coop membership card (free) for your neighbour if he hasn't got one - I got about £80 back on the membership scheme for the funeral.

StaffieTerrier

We paid just over £3k for a cremation for my Dad earlier this year (2 mourners cars, flowers, etc). We weren't particularly scrimping either. The funeral directors were a local firm and only recomend the cheapest coffins for cremations.

We would have loved the opportunity to shop around on price but Dad died suddenly at home and we had to get him collected relatively quickly. One of the neighbours went and contacted the funeral directors while Mom spoke to the paramedics. Luckily, for us, the funeral directors had been recommended previously and they were brilliant.

I would recommend everyone makes their wishes known to their relatives.

duchy

londonsurrey wrote: »

I used the Coop just over 2 years ago. Location was London. £2k included one car, and the cheapest coffin. The cardboard coffin actually cost more!

BTW get a Coop membership card (free) for your neighbour if he hasn't got one - I got about £80 back on the membership scheme for the funeral.

The deceased or their spouse needs to be a Co-op member already to get the "divvy" you can't join later to get it (it's on the list as I'm pretty sure she had one) as you say it's a decent amount -it would have paid for their most expensive casket for the ashes in this case.

duchy

juliep123 wrote: »

It's a good job your neighbour had you to phone round.It must be very difficult when you're recently bereaved.
Although it's not a nice thought it's a good idea to let your family know your wishes in advance - it could save a lot of heartache in the future.
Jules

It had to be handled carefully -as no-one wants to feel they are "bargain hunting" for their beloved. Of course if I'm prepaying my OWN funeral -I can bargain hunt as much as I want !!!

It was an interesting experience as I'd only ever organized a Jewish funeral before which is pretty much a set format (rabbai, burial, etc) although expensive -I never even knew you could choose between a religious or a humanist service for cremations for example-and that's the kind of choice I'd like to make for myself.

Mojisola

duchy wrote: »

It had to be handled carefully -as no-one wants to feel they are "bargain hunting" for their beloved. Of course if I'm prepaying my OWN funeral -I can bargain hunt as much as I want !!!

When my uncle was given a terminal diagnosis, he shopped around the local undertakers and found the one he liked best. He chose the Co-op and my aunt got the membership points when she paid.

He said that a few were a bit disconcerted when he said he was organising his own funeral. They were used to healthy people buying pre-paid funerals or dealing with the relatives of the deceased but hadn't dealt with a terminally-ill individual before.