Feeling worn down by debt

MinnyMoo

I'm feeling so worn down by all our debt at the moment. My partner just does not seem interested at all. I've always dealt with all our money but when I ask for help it falls on deaf ears, he chooses to do nothing. I'm at a loss for what to do at the moment. We're managing to keep up with all minimum payments at the moment but that's it, we're not making any headway into our debts. I feel like I've been left to deal with it all alone. Any ideas anyone on getting him involved or just how to perk myself up a bit?

MM

Bublin1

Is your partner depressed? If he is, that may be a place to start fixing things. Sounds like he is burying his head in the sand rather than just not being interested.

Jenny0050

Hello….
I am really sorry to read of your situation…. I am not an expert plus I have always been single so never had to deal with joint debts- but I just wanted to say ‘Hello’ and give you some online support…

Just an idea…. what about doing a ‘Statement of Affairs’ (sorry, I’m a ‘newbie’ and can’t post links but just Google ‘Statement of Affairs calculator’ –get everything written down- your income and all expenditures and it includes a list of all your debts..... you will see exactly what the situation is…. then show it to him and explain that you need to work together on this. Tell him how you are feeling- tell him that's it's getting you so down.


Like the poster above said maybe he is scared rather than not interested and doesn’t know how to start to tackle the debts ??? Maybe if you do the Statement of Affairs and he can see you have made a start to tackle them and everything is written down and organised then he will show more interest ???

Good luck and my best wishes!

loopy136

I think doing a SOA would be a good idea, to give a overview of the situation. I have been in a simular position and its so frustrating not having the support but it does get very depressing with a lack of money if you are used to a bit more in your pocket. There is always a solution, sometimes its not a quick solution but every step should motivate you to the next one.

I eventually had to take 2 extra jobs on to increase money going in, a starting selling bits on ebay and although he never wanted to listen I would sit down with him and explain how the finances would pan out for that month or week. Once he realised we would have to work to get extra money and it does make a difference he went out and got an early morning job.
Good luck, keep posting x

Moneymash

Hi Minnymoo, Sorry to hear about your plight. I see you have been a member since 2010 have you been reading the debt-free diaries? The diaries are honest, heartfelt and inspiring. The posts will help you see that others are in the same situation as yourself and that some are even worse off, this can help put things into perspective.

What is your main goal to get your partner interested, to pay more than the minimum, cover your monthly outgoings and or overall debt soultions? If you read more threads you'll get a more specific idea of the help you want. Then the right people will come along, offering advice and support.

The fact that you are posting is a good start.

olivetrees

you post could have been written by me. It's a hard lonely road you will be on if he doesn't engage.

My OH never, ever supports in financial matters and will never change. I hope with all my heart your OH does come on board.

If not there is always someone here and remember 'you never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have'