Money obsessive disorder???

picklednut

I think I'm starting to have an unhealthy obsession with money and it's really starting to affect my happiness and relationship and don't know how to stop it. My DH is self employed and I work part time. We had a really bad year last and struggled but never missed any DDs or CC payments and know in comparison to other people we will still "comfortable". This year has been a better year and a lot of the pressure we had money wise last year has gone but I'm still obsessed over money.

I continually worry about it and obsess over everything we need to pay out. I make list of money bills we need to pay and then list of money my DH is due to earn and effectively "spend" my DH's earnings before he's earned them. If anything goes against this "plan" eg a job is delayed or my DH is sick it really throws me and go into super worry mode. I can't seem to get money out of my head and I can't enjoy the everyday things as Im constantly thinking of money. Even enjoyable days out are effected by my own mind-thinking secretly totting up how much the day is costing. I can't simply relax and tell myself everything is fine. Im always on high alert and stressed over it. My DH gets frustrated with me because it doesn't ever seem that he can earn enough to stop me worrying even though the money he earns more than covers the bills. Even when we have enough money to pay the bills I start thinking about the money we owe for the month after. Whenever I have a solution to one of my problems I just seem to replace it with another money worry.

I've tried not to worry but I cant seem to help it, its an obsession I can't seem to let go of. Any advice?

DebtFreedom_2

Hi there. I'm the same. I try to stop it sometimes, but basically it's my first thought in the morning and last thought at night. Terrible really when I have a young family and should be concentrating on them.

It is difficult to manage. I have found that a spending diary is a good way of making the spending 'real', getting it out of my head and into a book. I seem to worry less then.

The only problem I then have is if I stop worrying, then it's only because I get excited that I'm dealing with it!

Either way, far too much nervous energy....

camuk81

Nut, I've started to this and found myself slipping in and out and then starting to visualise my day in pounds and pence.

I can't offer any advice but just to let you know you are in the same boat as many people.

Can I ask have you thought about maybe seeing the doctor. I start to do this when I get very depressed about things. I know its a sign of my personal depression so I have to take a few days out from life but lots of sleep and doing something different to break my routine.

I know thats not easy when working and with kids, but sometimes just getting away from it for a walk or an hour of tv with no interruptions can be amazing for your spirits

picklednut

I don't really fancy going to the doctor's as I don't want to put on pills, this isn't going to change my money situation. I just feel like I need to start appreciating what I have and realise how lucky I am with with a job, roof over my head, loving husband and child without obsessing about money. I should be thinking about my husband and child rather than wasting my time thinking and talking about money all the time. The majority of my conversations with my DH now is about money - what he's earning, when he's next getting paid, what jobs he's got on next instead of asking how he is, planning nice things to do as well. I know I'm creating problems in my relationship with this continual obsession with money but I just can't seem to stop it.

mellonicoley

picklednut wrote: »

I don't really fancy going to the doctor's as I don't want to put on pills, this isn't going to change my money situation. I just feel like I need to start appreciating what I have and realise how lucky I am with with a job, roof over my head, loving husband and child without obsessing about money. I should be thinking about my husband and child rather than wasting my time thinking and talking about money all the time. The majority of my conversations with my DH now is about money - what he's earning, when he's next getting paid, what jobs he's got on next instead of asking how he is, planning nice things to do as well. I know I'm creating problems in my relationship with this continual obsession with money but I just can't seem to stop it.

Of course it won't change your money situation but I don't think you need to change your money situation; you need to change how you think and look at money.

It sounds like you're obsessed with money because you're worried about having another bad year. Why is that? Is it because you and your OH haven't really changed your spending habits? Maybe that's where the worry is coming from. Maybe post an SOA on here so you can get some unbiased feedback on your expenditure. If you then find out that your spending is actually pretty good, then maybe the worrying will stop! If it turns out you could improve, then maybe cutting your spending will give you peace of mind.

I think at the very least, if you don't want to take pills, you need to sit down and speak to someone to find out why money worries you so much. Only then can you resolve your money "obsession".

MummyDrusilla

picklednut wrote: »

I don't really fancy going to the doctor's as I don't want to put on pills, this isn't going to change my money situation. I just feel like I need to start appreciating what I have and realise how lucky I am with with a job, roof over my head, loving husband and child without obsessing about money. I should be thinking about my husband and child rather than wasting my time thinking and talking about money all the time. The majority of my conversations with my DH now is about money - what he's earning, when he's next getting paid, what jobs he's got on next instead of asking how he is, planning nice things to do as well. I know I'm creating problems in my relationship with this continual obsession with money but I just can't seem to stop it.

Big hugs, it's not nice when it's starting to take over your life

There are more and more counselling services being offered to patients now in replacement or addition to medication so if you do go to the GP and say that you're reluctant to go on medication (and perhaps say why you don't want them), you could see if there's any counselling available in your area.

x

RobertoMoir

picklednut wrote: »

I don't really fancy going to the doctor's as I don't want to put on pills, this isn't going to change my money situation. I just feel like I need to start appreciating what I have and realise how lucky I am with with a job, roof over my head, loving husband and child without obsessing about money.

If "pills" is your doctor's answer to everything then you may need a new doctor. In any case, you don't need to do anything you are uncomfortable with, but I'd suggest you might need counselling so you can talk about this issue and deal with the root cause of it, and one way of accessing that is via your GP.

downsizer3

Sign of the times in a way. I'm a worrier and a few really shaky years financially has me in meltdown quite quickly on anything money related.
Personally I think its stress. I do find that having a safety net helps - a savings fund to provide a bunce between anything unforseen and day to day living.
Only in being completely on top of my finances can I sleep at night. My ex was a gambler and ran up bonkers debts - it nearly ruined us, but we dealt with it ( then split up!!) but I've been left with this fear...........
Best to try and work out what would make you less nervous - what is it that you're scared of and try and build in the defences to that. Works for me anyway (so far!)! Good luck.