Think I'm depressed...?

vivienm85

Hi all,

I wasn't sure where to put this, apologies if it is in the wrong place, hopefully it can be moved if so.

I'm not sure what I am expecting from all of this really, maybe just a place to 'sound off' without actually having to speak to someone face to face.

Anyway, I think I'm depressed. Quite a scary thing to admit! On the surface of it, I've not got a care in the world, or at least I shouldn't.

- I live with my partner.

- I have a permanent job in the public sector, which in my area of work is a very very difficult thing to do.

- I am on a good salary, with not much debt and plenty of 'spare cash'.

- I am a reasonably educated person, with an honours degree and post graduate qualifications.

So what's my problems?

- I am indecisive at times to the point absolutely nothing gets done i.e I will leave the house to get milk and forget what I went out for/can't choose what shop to go to.

- I am overly suspicious of my partner and will check his phone and emails to check he is not cheating on me.

- I attach 'value' to possessions that I think will 'cheer me up'. I have 'obsessions' with such possessions that come and go i.e I can be obsessed with make up for a while and spend hundreds of pounds on lipsticks/perfumes/cosmetics/hair products etc. I think these possessions will grant me 'social status'.

- I have no interests outside of my work (and even work doesn't particularly interest me at times).

- I am constantly tired and have aches and pains that I just cannot shake or get to the bottom of.

- I feel that most of the time I am on the edge of crying, without really knowing what I am crying for.

- I feel that everyone else has 'more than me' i.e friends of ours that are married, are having babies etc. I feel that I am left behind and that if I only had these things, I'd be happy too.


Last year I gave up on an opportunity to work overseas to take up my permanent position here, and I moved 75 miles away from my home town to be with my partner. The job I took wasn't exactly what I thought it was and I am in a position which is extremely stressful and I hold a fair bit of responsibility. 'Thrown in at the deep end' I feel!

Like I said, I'm not sure where I am going with this. Maybe some tips on things I can do to 'cheer me up' that doesn't involve buying things that get forgotten about the next day? Anyone been in a similar situation and got through it ok?

Apologies for the length of this post, but thank you for reading if you have.

meritaten

I dont think 'tips' on how to cheer yourself up will help - I think your self-diagnosis is spot on. but we are not allowed to diagnose on here!
You really need to see a GP hun. if you cannot face talking to him/her - then print out your post and give it to them to read.

Make an appointment ASAP - I am sure others will be along saying the same thing - and please post back even if you only want to moan or whinge! sometimes 'talking' about it eases the burden - even if its only on here!

gibson123

This site bans medical advice, and to be honest you should not be looking for a diagnosis on-line or suggestions on how to feel better.. get yourself off to the Doctors first thing tomorrow, print off your post and hand it over to him/her.

vivienm85

Thank you both. Just to clarify, I'm not looking for anyone to diagnose me - I think I know deep down what is wrong with me.

If I go to my doctor can this be disclosed to my workplace? Or would I ever have to disclose it? Can I go and see 'somebody' off my own back without involving doctors?

Wellyboots6

You sound so much like me its scary!

Get to your GP and talk it through with them and see what they can offer you

Wellyboots6

Depending on your job, some places will request your medical details. If it is the big D word then it shouldn't impact much on your employment if it is managed. I have had my medical details requested by previous employers and sometimes have ended up having an occupational health interview, but they just want to know that there is nothing they need to be doing to support you.

How would you know which 'somebody' to go and see unless you have a diagnosis from a doctor?

vivienm85

Thanks Katy, appreciate your reply.

The biggest thing stopping me going to the doctors is my job. I am, at times, reasonably ambitious, and would hate for something to stop me 'getting ahead' into management positions etc. Although I know they say they can't use that against you, you just never know. (there goes my suspicions!)

I just wondered if there was some sort of support groups or things people can go to, like you see in American movies! ha!

meritaten

vivienm85 wrote: »

Thank you both. Just to clarify, I'm not looking for anyone to diagnose me - I think I know deep down what is wrong with me.

If I go to my doctor can this be disclosed to my workplace? Or would I ever have to disclose it? Can I go and see 'somebody' off my own back without involving doctors?

Your GP would NEVER disclose medical information without your consent! You wouldnt either unless it 'affected' your ability to do your job. (that is impossible for employers to assess if you are depressed).

what 'somebody' are you thinking of? unless you think that you have a specific disorder, then don't you think a GP would help?

meritaten

unless you tell your employer you are seeing your GP - how would they know? you are doing your job and they are satisfied - yes?
as for support groups etc - they usually are supporting the treatment the GP prescribes - unless you are referring to something like AA?

Ellie-Marie

Omg i was going down your list going thats me thats me... I dont have much advice as I feel I'm in the same place, but when I'm really low, i often set myself goals such as run for a mile, dye my hair, learn to do the splits (my most recent one etc.. but if you figure it out, let me know

vivienm85

Katy, you said you thought my post sounded similar to you - what do you to combat the feelings? Did you go to GP?

Thank you Meritaten. Re: job. I'm sure when I started I had to fill out a medical form which is sealed and only opened when you are shortlisted/offered the job. I am worried that if I applied for some sort of promotion that this would be investigated again and 'found out'.

Ellie-Marie - how funny, I'm going to get my hair done tomorrow. I don't usually bother, but thought it would 'cheer me up'. Will probably cost a fortune and look no different, but maybe miracles will happen eh?!