What to wear to a wedding 'evening do' when you are normally a scruffy !!!!!!???

Emuchops

I have an 'evening do' for a wedding in 4 weeks. I don't have anything to wear as I don't 'do' formal normally. I'm 44 but have no idea what 'suits' me-I hate shopping for clothes, and don't want to spend much money (what a surprise!!).
In the past when I have worn suits or dresses I look really 'wooden' in them-it's hard to explain, but I just don't feel comfortable dressed up, and it shows.
Normally I dress very casually and wear mainly black and always trousers/jeans, oh, and I can't walk in heels.
Does anyone know of websites that may help a person to find out what suits them?
Ideally I don't want to buy something that I will rarely, if ever, wear again. I'm 5' 3" and around 8 stone. I went to Next, Dorothy Perkins, Debenhams and M & S yesterday and saw nothing that I liked, even a bit.
How 'formal' do people usually dress for the evening part of a wedding? Bride says she doesn't mind what I wear but I don't want to appear disrespectful.
Time's running out and it's starting to play on my mind...any suggestions much appreciated.

geri1965_2

I'm not a dressy person either - I tend to play it safe by wearing some black trousers and a dressy top. M&S have some nice wide legged trousers which tend to go with everything.

kerri_gt

Do you have a good friend you could go shopping with who could help you choose something? someone who's opinion you trust. Or, have you thought about using a personal shopping instore somewhere like House of Fraser - often this is a free service. They will know what stock is instore so save you looking through everything.

Gok Wan's page on channel 4 does have a section about dressing for your shape http://www.channel4.com/4beauty/style/dress-for-your-body-shape

Have a think also about what you would feel most comfortable wearing. If you're normally a trouser person then you might want to think about some smart trousers in a colour, and a top as opposed to a dress. If you don't do heels normally, how about a low wedge? Wedges are much easier to walk in than a heel and I find them to be more comfortable, esp if you're not used to heels.

As an idea, if you really aren't sure where to start, either think of colours you like / suit you, or try and work some of the colour scheme from the wedding into your outfit - you don't need to do this but it's just a thought as a starting point.

If you get something you do feel comfortable in, you won't mind perhaps spending a little more if it's something you can wear again.

Oh, and don't forget, all eyes will be on the bride so try not to feel too self concious

ellay864

Wedding evenings are a lot less formal these days, and as your bride isn;t trying to enforce any kind of dress code I'd not get too wound up about it. Some nice black trousers will go with anything, and you could get a floaty top or tunic which will look smart but not overly dressy

j.e.j.

Some people do get dressed up to the nines (and spray tanned :rotfl:) for a wedding do, but I think if that sort of thing's just not you, you will look and feel uncomfortable.

If the wedding's in 4 weeks, you could perhaps have a look on EBay for some things to wear? That way you won't pay a fortune and there might be more of a variety of clothes available?

It sounds like the bride isn't too bothered about what people wear, so I think as long as it's something presentable (ie not jeans or faded/old clothes) you should be ok with whatever you choose.

Emuchops

thank you to all who have replied. I think I will go with black trousers and a smartish top, now it's just a matter of finding something I like. Like Kerri said, no one will be looking at me, it's just that I will feel self conscious as out of the comfort zone.

jenniewb

Emuchops wrote: »

I have an 'evening do' for a wedding in 4 weeks. I don't have anything to wear as I don't 'do' formal normally. I'm 44 but have no idea what 'suits' me-I hate shopping for clothes, and don't want to spend much money (what a surprise!!).
In the past when I have worn suits or dresses I look really 'wooden' in them-it's hard to explain, but I just don't feel comfortable dressed up, and it shows.
Normally I dress very casually and wear mainly black and always trousers/jeans, oh, and I can't walk in heels.
Does anyone know of websites that may help a person to find out what suits them?
Ideally I don't want to buy something that I will rarely, if ever, wear again. I'm 5' 3" and around 8 stone. I went to Next, Dorothy Perkins, Debenhams and M & S yesterday and saw nothing that I liked, even a bit.
How 'formal' do people usually dress for the evening part of a wedding? Bride says she doesn't mind what I wear but I don't want to appear disrespectful.
Time's running out and it's starting to play on my mind...any suggestions much appreciated.

I had to go to a funeral recently. Though I normally wear black the funeral was not supposed to be about sadness so black wasn't the done thing. Similarly wearing the not so neat clothing I wear normally was not an option leaving my only other wardrobe addition: gym wear. Also not an option!

I think I would suggest going to a department store for advice, most will not force you to buy anything if they are any good but will give you some advice and as a previous shop assistant myself, I know for me the job was so boring that I would have loved to give my opinion/advice on what to wear regardless of if anyone were going to buy anything (obviously I'd have preferred it as this was the only sort of recognition we got as sales assistants from the manager: sales!) but on a personal note, having something different to do used to make a big difference to an otherwise very dull job.

One idea I had was to keep my clothes as fitted and neat as I could, so no raw edges, no torn or ripped parts, no holes...etc and also try to keep them either all one colour or with one item which has a good strong pattern.
The next step is to add accessories. A bag, shoes and a hat or necklace are one set. I'd say keep all but one simple and add the last with detail. So either plain shoes, plain hat/necklace and an amazing bag or really pretty shoes with the rest plain.
Thats a safe way out anyway. if your really experimental you'd be able to go around this and get together an iconic and stunning outfit whilst not outshining the reason you are there!

Remember the reason you are there is to experience the day with others and to add your support/face to the crowd and not all about your outfit so please don't let it stress you out too much.

Flat_Eric

I second the black trousers option and I would be browsing the charity shops for a sparkly top :money:

pinksk8

What about a Maxi dress, I love them, with accessories, you can make them feel dressed up and then you can wear over the summer with sandals? They have some lovely ones in Asda at the minute too and quite cheap! im only 5'1 and i just take em up a little, but i think they suit petite frames... x

lollipopsarah

Oh I hate dressing up too, can't beat a nice pair of trousers (any sober colour) and a nice top, maybe from Bon Marche or primark or the market if you a a decent one near you.
So long as you don't upstage the bride she will be happy just having you there.
Have a great evening.
xx

londonsurrey

Little black dress, it does for so many occasions. My husband spotted mine in a sale when we were 20 years old. Cost £17. It seems to suit my body, always draws comment. Although it's demure enough, it suggests a bit more.

Wore it through the years, and then at his funeral 18 years later. Well, it was black, and he did choose it.