Parents control sisters money

tyllwyd

poet123 wrote: »

My MIL does exactly the same with my SIL who does have some MH issues but has her own house. They both like it because previously SIL would just put unopened bills in a drawer and when it all came to a head it took the whole family ages to unravel all the debt and attendant issues. So it can be done with the best of intentions and if both parties are happy then it is not really for you to interfere, even if you have good intentions.

But at the end of the day, your SIL is still effectively putting her bills in a drawer, it's just that your MIL is stepping in and taking them out for her. So they haven't solved the basic problem, just worked around it. Surely it would be better in the long term to support your SIL to take responsibility herself. Having said that, they are both adults, and as you say, it is their own decision how they manage their affairs - as long as it is your SIL's choice to hand over control, it hasn't been taken from her.

poet123

tyllwyd wrote: »

But at the end of the day, your SIL is still effectively putting her bills in a drawer, it's just that your MIL is stepping in and taking them out for her. So they haven't solved the basic problem, just worked around it. Surely it would be better in the long term to support your SIL to take responsibility herself. Having said that, they are both adults, and as you say, it is their own decision how they manage their affairs - as long as it is your SIL's choice to hand over control, it hasn't been taken from her.

It is definitely her choice, she likes to have no responsibility whatever, so that she can effectively please herself what she does. If she makes an arrangement to go out with MIL (who is elderly and infirm) she will often cancel 10 mins before, she won't do funerals, or hosp apts.

We do worry about when MIL is no longer here as she has two daughters but I suspect they won't be interested enough to do it, they are very wrapped up in their own lives.