running out of options...

star4876

Hi All

This is a bit of a 'feeler' post just to get a few opinions, so hope you don't mind.

I'm trying to resolve a joint mortgage with an ex partner, ideal solution would be for him to refinance however possible, which he has agreed to investigate, as long as I will have my solicitor confirm I will pay for the re-application and TofE process. (Fine with that - I'm at the stage where I just want it sorted out.)

In the mean time I am trying to do the decent thing and continue to contribute half the repayments every month (circa £300) whilst also renting alternative accommodation for myself (£550 a month + all other bills) and as a result my credit card balances are creeping up, and up, and up...

My solicitor has suggested I contact Santander to ask for a 'break period' or to switch to interest only for a period of time while the issues are resolved. I'm not sure what a 'break period' is, and if Santander could offer me anything, what is it likely to be? Switching to IO for a few months while we sort this out would be ideal, but are they likely to agree to that, and if they did I'm guessing my ex partner would have to consent to it as well? Santander have been a pig of a bank so far, I can't see them bending over backwards to help me out.

My ex still lives in the house and has made it plain that he wants to keep it, in the mean time I'm not welcome to go back and collect any of my belongings, and I have also handed my keys over to him so I haven't even got access. Beginning to really begrudge paying for half of his house...

The mortgage was paid out of a joint bank account which the ex has now closed. He now asks me to transfer half of the mortgage payment into his personal account, which I have been doing.

I don't want to cause any more grief, but am I right in thinking if I contributed less or didn't contribute at all, he would have no choice but to stump up the shortfall ? I know I am jointly responsible, but he was the main investor in the property (20k deposit) and he's the one who wants to keep the house. All the interest is on his side of the fence. If he were to phone Santander and tell them "she hasn't contributed her half this month", would they come after me... or would they in fact not be interested at all?! He is the one who lives there after all. Sorry to sound naive...

Dave_Ham

I cant advise on what is morally "fair" but be wary Santander are not being helpful currently; in any situations.

If you do not pay your Ex the half, they will mark the account in arrears which will significantly affect both your ability to obtain credit in the future.

You are jointly liable for the debt and therefore the bank will treat it as that.

Irrespective of the emotions involved and what has gone on, your Ex needs to grow up as all his behaviour is doing is making it easy for you to justify to yourself not paying 50% of the mortgage.

star4876

Yeah you're right.

Unfortunately I'm not an unreasonable person and that probably doesn't do me any favours! I suppose it won't hurt to phone Santander and ask them if there are any options to get the monthly payments down in the short term while the dispute is resolved, but I am not expecting anything.

The house was only purchased in October 2011 and if it were to go back on the market I am relatively confident we could recoup what we paid, as we knocked the price down a fair amount and it had been on the market a while as it was. Downside being it was a 5 year fixed deal with Santander and they will waste us for £6,000 just in the fee. Bummer.

He has suggested I hand him the £6,000 in cash and he will consider selling it, but thats utterly ridiculous! 6k would be almost 2 years of mortgage contributions on my part and there's no way I'm doing that.

Seems like childish games. I don't want to waste 8 years of good credit history due to an unpaid mortgage, but soon enough I'll be maxed out on £3,000 of credit cards and struggling to afford the petrol to get myself to work... so something has got to give.

Dave_Ham

You need to lean on any shared friends to make him get past the emotion and see sense.

The alternative will be financial hardship for you both and a lot more heartache.

I would maybe pay a couple of days late - and see if that gets him seeing sense, or at least talking to you

The_J

100% agree with Dave, if you miss a mortgage payment then it will really hurt your credit file and must be avoided. However the situation cannot stay the same so you must talk about it as soon as possible.

MagicCats

Personally I'd leave friends and/or family out of things if you can. Have you considered using one of the relationship counciling services?

Many people believe they're only here to assist people in resolving difficulties and enabling them to stay together. In fact some are happy to provide a mediation service during relationship breakdowns.

star4876

Thanks for the advice guys but there's no 'mediating' with this chap, trust me! Lol

I am getting my solicitor to write to him to confirm everything he wants to hear. Hopefully, if he's not bluffing and he does actually have some way to refinance the mortgage, he will just get on with it ASAP and then problem solved.

It is in the back of my mind that he's stalling the process and avoiding having to sell, without any real confidence that he can refinance at all. He knows I can force the sale, if I really wanted to, so he's probably just pacifying me with talk about refinancing for now.

Fingers crossed.