Real life MMD: Should I pay for a broken teapot?

kizatt

Many years ago when I was a student I had a similar situation. My friend's ring fell off her finger in the street and was rolling towards a drain. Impulsively, to stop it from going down the drain, I put my foot on it. Saved it from drain but squashed it instead! The ring had been an 18th birthday present from her grandparents so very precious and likely to be missed by her parents/grandparents quickly. We went straight to jewellers, discovered there was no possibility of fixing it and went halves on buying a new one (£100, so £50 each - lots of money now for a student and lots back in 1993 of course in 1993 we still got teeny weeny grants, not like the nothing you get now!). We were both students so didn't have the issue you do of one being better off than the other, but my boyfriend at the time was a bit upset that I'd paid anything towards the replacement ring, especially so much which would have gone a long way towards our bills.

The way I saw it, we stayed friends and although it was a lot of money at the time, it didn't feel like that forever and it was just another unexpected expense that got absorbed in my overall cash flow/overdraft, just as a large phone bill or repair bill or whatever would have done.

She later (when she had money )had the original ring melted down and made into a pendant

I don't know if that helps any. I guess it depends how much you value your friendship and how badly you feel about the way your friend is behaving towards you at the moment. I think a 50/50 split would be the best solution, but that requires cooperation on both sides and unfortunately you can't control how your friend behaves.

As for those who have replied saying they would always get money upfront before buying something on behalf of someone else, although I'm sure that's a pragmatic approach, it certainly isn't my experience. My friends/family members and I will often order or pick up things for each other and very rarely ask for or expect money in advance. I doubt we're the only ones who do it that way. In fact if I know a friend is skint or just generally snowed under, I'll happily offer to cover the cost for them til my credit card bill comes in. Doesn't make any difference to me and I guess now I'm more solvent than I was as a student if one of those friends didn't pay me back, as I trusted them to do, then I'd figure they weren't the person I thought they were and leave it at that.....

However, if you don't have the money to spare, I think in future it would be wise to ask for the money beforehand. Please don't get all cynical and not do favours for anyone again, it's a frustrating and costly experience you've had, but friendships and people helping each other out are important and comforting parts of life, even if this particular friendship turns out to have been soured by this situation.

Good luck with whatever solution you and your friend come to

alancam

Pay for it and never do this "friend" any favours.

If I'd asked someone to buy it, I'd at least halve the loss with them. You did a favour, your mate could have bothered his lazy back side to go collect it himself.

Can't believe some people on here are so quick to have a go at you for this--unless you were likely to profit financially from the arrangement if it had gone well, in which case you should shoulder the risk, too.

jehn

Yes, if you bought something from a retailer who managed to break it before delivering it, you wouldn't dream of paying for it! But that's a retailer, they have the money to absorb accidents and cover themselves for losses. You're a student - £95 is a lot of money to lose because of a teapot!

It might be that your friend has forgotten what it's like to not have that much money. Maybe talk to them about it and say you are sorry for the accident, but is it possible to go halves on the broken pottery because of your financial situation? And you could always offer to do them a (free) favour in the future, like wash their car or babysit/petsit one evening.

I guess you both need to ask yourselves "is it worth £47.50 to keep our friendship in tact?" If the answers yes, then go halves!