Advice Needed - Work Depression Related

AbstruseAlan

Hi all,

As I mentioned in my last thread, I've been off work for nearly 2 months now with depression and panic attacks. The other week work sent me a letter asking me to come in to discuss why I was off further and discuss any ways they were able to help.

Reluctantly, I built up the courage to go. It was extremely nerve racking, and I was shaking throughout feeling extremely uncomfortable and nervous. They asked me to sign a form so they could access my medical records, which I did etc. We then both parted with them wishing me a speed recovery.

Today, just over a week later, they've sent me another letter asking me to come in again for the same reasons.

Now as much as I in a way appreciate there concerns, I just feel totally uncomfortable going in and facing everyone to then discuss and bring up the same things I'm trying to get over.

I've also only received the letter today and they want me to come in tommorow.

I really don't mind keeping them updated with my recovery and where I am medication wise but I do not see the need, especially when I feel it isn't helping, of going into work.

Can someone please tell me what they would do?

macalacka

I think the best thing to do it see the situation for what it is. Your employer wants you to come back to work as soon as possible, any employer would and they are being quite reasonable so far. If you find it difficult to go into work then suggest they visit you at home or a mutually convenient location.

Is the cause of your depression work related? Are you seeking additional help through your doctor?

Prudent

Do you have an occupational health department? They could access your medical records and advise your employer without you directly to talk face to face with your employer about any aspect of your illness that is difficult to discuss in a meeting.

If you are finding the meetings difficult, it might be worth asking your doctor if you are fit to attend them yet.

I am also off work with a different medical issue, but work related issues are a main contributor. I have seen occupational health and the doctor was excellent. She made recommendations about adaptations and changes my employer could make to help reduce the chances of reoccurance of the illness. It may be that occupational health could do the same for you and take the strain out of negotiating with your employers. When my employers recived the report from occupational health they sent a letter requesting a meeting. Both my GP and consultant said that I was too ill still to be ready for a meeting. I have written to my employer stating that I am still too unwell and have given them permission to confirm this with the medical professionals. I am hoping to be well enough within th next week or so. The letter took pressure off of me. Perhaps it would be possible for you to do the same. I sought advice from my union first.

TrickyWicky

There are a few ways you could handle this but as another poster has said, you need to be honest and decide if this depression is work related, life related or both.

If its work related, you have two options really:
1) Meet their request and go to see them - be warned they could be looking at disciplinary for a bad sick record (some companies will stoop to any low levels)
2) Insist that you're not well enough to go in but they can come and see you at home if they are concerned for your welfare. I've had this one twice in two different jobs. Sometimes it can break the ice a bit with your manageent to see them outside of the work place environment HOWEVER be warned, if you really think the situation is out of control, inviting them into your home could have a negative impact on you. I had my bosses round because I knew in my home I was in charge of the situation and they knew it too however I my last boss I would have never let near the place because he was such a b**t**d.

Occupational health is nothing to dread either. In fact they are mighty useful because you can tell them all of your concerns, issues, worries etc and they basically write it down and send a report saying the same thing back to your employer which they then have to take seriously rather than thinking you're scamming them for sick pay. Employers like to threaten OH like its the enemy and they know it will worry most people when in reality the opposite is true - in the eyes of the law once OH have completed a report about your condition your employer has something in writing that they must then try to make adjustments for if they can without penalising you.

The last time I had to see OH by boss had been giving me a REALLY hard time over as many trivial things as possible. Rather than quit, I went sick for 3 months and in that time also developed a physical health problem which restricted the physical part of my job. That only really made the relationship with the boss worse really but the OH thing kicked in and they sent me off to see them. I had two trips there - one about the depression and the other about the physical symptoms which were almost crippling me at the time (although my boss didn't believe any of it because "You're too young.." etc). OH wrote the report and about my mental state and physical state and when I eventually felt well enough mentally to go back they not only welcomed me back but relented with the attitude for a month or two. Sure I still got greif after that but it wasn't on the same scale.

If your depression is life related (and lets face it, most folks are life & work related) then it's slightly different because you have parts of your life which need to change and in most cases its very hard to achieve this. It's caused by many things: money worries, lack of achievement, lack of friends & family, lack of prospects etc. There isn't really much that will change that short of a political shft away from the two major parties to one that will put the 'Great' back into Britain so the only thing I can advise is to find yourself a hobby that you enjoy. It doesn't matter if its an expensive hobby or a cheap one as long as you enjoy it, spend the money on yourself - you really do deserve it - just for being YOU. Heck, even borrow the money if it'll get you started because getting into a hobby that you enjoy will introduce you to other like minded people that you can get on with and that may be what you're missing in your life now.

The daily grind as we call it, is just that a grind that will grind you down if you don't recharge yourself mentally.

Googlewhacker

Very good post Tricky, only thing I will pick up on is that a company is quite within their rights to go through capability procedures if someone is off sick long term and ultimately an employee cannot stay on the long term sick forever costing the company money (ie holiday pay)

TrickyWicky

Depends on the company. Some will give you many months sick pay whilst others don't give a rats about you being ill. In both jobs where I went sick I had many months of sick pay on offer - I realise why now when I realise what they put me through.

In the last one where I went sick for 3 months, going sick (actually and the other one now I think of it) was actively encouraged if you were being ground down. One of my colleagues went sick with a phobia that he couldn't step outside of his house for 6 months. It became the norm at one point and I was shocked when someone said to me "Just go sick they'll like you more for it because you'll fit in with the crowd for it". To my utter amazement they were right too. Workplace politics are a funny old game..

In another place I worked for a year or so back you could go sick for as long as you wanted as long as you didn't mind not getting paid. I had a colleague who'd gone off sick for a couple of months and 3 months later was still off. The company had been saying they wanted rid of him for ages and 5 months later, off sick he was still on the payroll but just not being paid.

I guess really it depends on the orgnisation.

Googlewhacker

TrickyWicky wrote: »

Depends on the company. Some will give you many months sick pay whilst others don't give a rats about you being ill. In both jobs where I went sick I had many months of sick pay on offer - I realise why now when I realise what they put me through.

In the last one where I went sick for 3 months, going sick (actually and the other one now I think of it) was actively encouraged if you were being ground down. One of my colleagues went sick with a phobia that he couldn't step outside of his house for 6 months. It became the norm at one point and I was shocked when someone said to me "Just go sick they'll like you more for it because you'll fit in with the crowd for it". To my utter amazement they were right too. Workplace politics are a funny old game..

In another place I worked for a year or so back you could go sick for as long as you wanted as long as you didn't mind not getting paid. I had a colleague who'd gone off sick for a couple of months and 3 months later was still off. The company had been saying they wanted rid of him for ages and 5 months later, off sick he was still on the payroll but just not being paid.

I guess really it depends on the orgnisation.

I am talking of 6 months plus before capabilities start...unfortunately whilst the last company you mention are nice when they suddenly get a bill for the holiday that person has accrued it may change their attitude towards helping employees...

TrickyWicky

Again it depends..

I heard of one person having been off for several years. They were gone so long management completely forgot about them and it only came to light when someone in payroll noticed it purely by accident. AFAIK the person came back to work too!