How do i stop my 18 year old son taking out loans and getting in to debt?

jhl1908

My 18 year old son has been taking out 'pay day' loans from various lenders eg Wonga, Moneyshop etc.
He initially did this when one weekend (after receiving his monthly pay on the Friday) he spend all his £950 wages. He told me had done this so I helped him that month with his train fare etc thinking he would be straight the following month.
However he had taken out some loans and when the next pay day arrived he was in exactly the same position again. This is now an on going thing that is has happened 3 months running and I have even had to pay his phone bill and gym membership this month as well as having to pay his train fares again which I really can't afford.
I have just taken a phone call from a Loan Company asking me get him to call them back as his loan of up to £5000 has been approved.
I'm worried sick - is there any way I can stop lenders from lending to him and also if he defaults on the payments will it affect the credit ratings of the rest of us at this address?

vax2002

Yes , you can tell him to find his own place to live.
This will make him grow up and spend wiser.

Tixy

Best way is to stop bailing him out - he might end up having to default on his payments to his loans, gym, phone, but that then is likely to make it harder for him to get any more loans going forward.

A harsh lesson for him to learn maybe - but you've tried helping him and he hasn't learned from the mess he was in that time to change his habits.

No anything he does will not affect other members of the family credit reports (well providing he doesn't resort to trying to get credit in anyone else's name).

Given his age it might well be that the supposed £5k loan reques a guarantor - whatever you do, do not agree to this for him.

I would state to him very clearly you will not bail him out again and will not pay for his train fares or anything after this month.

opinions4u

Stop bailing him out and let him sink.

He'll get defaults and CCJS etc that will stop him from borrowing for 6 years.

As long as you have no financial association (joint accounts etc) his credit file gets trashed but it affects nobody elses.

You've saved him once. He was worth a second chance. He blew it. Let him sink.

Emmzi

why wouldn't he borrow when you are there to make sure his bills get paid?

rrf494g

encourage the behaviour you want . . .

don't encourage the behaviour you don't want. Each time you take any action simply ask what kind of behaviour it will support.

It isn't easy - but if you actually support the behaviour you are so worried by, you are being as weak as he is.

good luck

Derivative

Agree with the posters above.
You have to let him fail. He has to see what's down there before he realises he's better off without.

tonycottee

I would be questioning why the loan company told you how much the loan was for and the fact it had been approved.
Any other private details they shared with you about him?

malkyh

I have to agree with the 'let him sink' advice. I know it isn't as easy as it sounds but it is the only way he will realise what he is doing.

At seems just now as if he knows you will bail him out when he gets into trouble so is happy to keep getting these loans.

Stop saving his !!! and let him find out the hard way.

Have you had a good talk about what is going on? Let him know it is wrong to keep borrowing and that you will no longer be sorting his issues. At 18 he is now responsible for his own actions, good and stupid.

Alternatively nail him to his bedroom floor, feeding and watering him just enough to keep him alive.

immoral_angeluk

You say you've had to pay his various bills on more than one occasion. No, you haven't, you chose to (The joys of parenthood lol!). You don't have to bail him out and although once or twce is fine, you risk encouraging a cycle of him thinking he can do what he wants because you will always bail him out.
18 is still young but he needs to learn about life and realise that he can't rely on his parents anymore. He's a grown man who needs to stand up and take respinsibility for his own actions.

BugsyBrowne

I wouldn't take much notice of the phone call about your son being approved for a 5k loan this is obviously not a high street lender as they wouldnt discuss your son finances with yourself, but will most probably be a loan broker so the chances of your son recieving this 5k loan is very low.