So much for all my good intentions - feel like throwing in the towel

Bumbelina

I posted my SOA, sorted out my budget, took on board all the good advice from this forum and was ready to set up my separate money pots for the month. Feeling pretty good about it all. Now my OH hasn't been able to take out any money from his business for the last 3 weeks because people owe him money so he owes the domestic account £450. Have just checked and found the account is now £20 overdrawn (OD facility is £200 and they won't extend cos my credit rating is trashed) with bills due to go out and no idea whether any more money will be coming in before I next get paid.

So what do I do? Cancel all my direct debits? I have no idea.

I just feel like running away. I give up. Life has beaten me this time.

I have had some awful things happen to my in my life. I've lost a baby to cot death and I've had cancer twice. The financial problems have always been there in the background but somehow I've managed to get through it all until now. I'm 45 years old and I can't see any way forward any more. People keep telling me how strong I am and that I must stay positive. Well, that's easy for them to say.

Yes, I'm feeling sorry for myself. I was supposed to be having a day out with some friends this Saturday which I was really looking forward to but now I can't afford to go. That feels like the last straw. Even if I did find some money before then I'd have to spend it on the food shopping, otherwise we'll be living on boiled rice for a week.

I feel terrible for my children because none of this is their fault.

I'm aware that this doesn't make pleasant reading and I'm sorry for that, but if I couldn't communicate this to someone I think I would just walk out of the door and never come back the way I'm feeling at the moment.

poodlegal

I'm afraid I have no constructive advice but just wanted to say aaaggggghhhhhh out loud for you as it sounds like lifes dealing you a bad hand at the moment. I'm sure most of the people on this board have had a fair share of ups and downs and although might not have had exactly the same things happen in life, between us we have probably a few horror stories so at least have an inclination of how it feels to just want to give up. All that I can say is that you deserve better so dont bloomin well let this get you down, look what you have survived up to now... so give yourself a talking to and get your head down and get the positive head back on. Baby steps to get through each day and once you get your fight back your luck will start to turn again. I always liken being positive and proactive to turning a large vessel, you have to bear with it for a while and eventually, slowly things start to improve. As far as the direct debits go I'm disasterous with money so not going to give you any advice but even if this month is all goes pear shaped you will somehow get back on track once the money gets in.

camuk81

Bumbelina, it happens and it is so unjust. I have this regularly and feeling like giving up. Saturday over the moon I paid off my total amount owed on the elec and gas. Phone on monday and found out with a new bill being produced I'd only paid 400 odd pounds off a 1,000 one!

Trust me its not fair. Life is never bloody right just or fair. However you already have a huge network of friends (us) who are here to support you through this.

DominicJ_2

So what do I do? Cancel all my direct debits? I have no idea.

No, you phone everyone you owe money too, explain the situation, and offer to make partial payments.
Cancelling direct debits will just annoy them.
If you phone, right now, they might be nice and not hit you with £100 of extra charges when you miss your payments

RAS

Sorry
But yes you cancel all the DDs now, and ring the creditors and tell them what has happened. Make a token payment but not by caRD OR SOME OF THE BRIGHTER ONES MAY TAKE THE REST TOMORROW and leave you in doo doo. (sory for caps).

Bumbelina

Have checked again and I think there will only be 2 DDs going oefore next Wednesday, which is the day on which I should be paid but because I'm freelance it doesn't always arrive when I expect it. Those are the gas & electric £123 (with Ovo, we only changed to them last month) and my husband's pension £102. A small payment of £72 has just gone into my account for a piece of work I did, so I'm now slightly in credit. Those 2 DDs will take me to £190 OD (still within my £200 limit), but I'll need to buy food. I think I'll leave the Ovo payment to go through and cancel the pension. We can't afford to keep paying into that.

anna_d_2

Your situation sounds similar to mine - with hubby being self employed and people owing him. What should balance out doesn't always - and it can be so disheartening. I've been topping up our household account for months and now the money has run out.

I know this must feel desperate - but please don't give up.
As has been suggested cancel what DDs you can and make partial payments. Hopefully those who owe money to your DH will pay up soon and you can getting back on track.