Girlfriends Debt

Swinstie73

Yip been in the same position recently and can echo what everyone has said to not pay off her debts but help her in anyway you can.

My husband got a credit card last year (my stupidity in getting him to get one - he has never had one before) as mines was at it's limit from paying house moving bills and he stupidly lifted money from it, only £80 and I thought I had drilled it into him not to lift cash. Needless to say £1200 later and I hit the roof big time.

Took his credit card off him, set him up a payment plan and a spreadsheet to show him exactly what his outgoings were and access (with his permission as he's a technophobe) his bank account to make sure all looks ok. Two months in and his credit card is down to £650 and he has £275 in his bank (usually he had nothing from the beginning of the month til pay - 15th of the month). With some major nagging from me he has totally had his LBM and is back on the straight and narrow.

NB - I was all set to get a money transfer onto a 0% card to pay his debt off, he actually said no as he wanted to prove he could do it himself (with my help of course)!

BlushingRose

Firstly I think the advice to 'ditch the g/f' is harsh and totally uncalled for.

The advice about not using your savings or taking out loans/credit cards for her is spot on however.

One new thing I would say that unless your g/f has had her light bulb moment then NOTHING will work and she will keep spending.

nate_dog

I would just like to add that £500 in savings is pointless when you owe money on high interest credit cards and a loan, she should start by using that money to make inroads into the debt. Pay it into whichever debt has the highest interest, at least its a start!

Therese1

Its a while ago now and I gave up trying to help because....

a friend asked me to help her stop spending by giving me her 2 credit cards for me to cut up (she couldnt bring herself to do it)

I obliged - only to find out a few weeks later that she had called the card companies and told them she had lost her cards, cancelled them and had new ones reissued!!:eek:

Be aware!

megamuel

Hi everyone,

Thanks for the all the replies, sorry I didn't reply sooner. Just to clarify things. We're not married but only because I have made the choice not to get married. We've been together for 6 years though and she's stuck by me through all my mistakes and supported me when I've needed it. So I'd be a pretty bad boyfriend if I left her now just because she's got into some trouble!

In her defence, it hasn't been a case of her treating herself and buying luxuries as people have suggested. It started when she sent money to help her family back home and has spiralled out of control. She doesn't really have any luxuries at all other than a laptop which I bought for her. She doesn't have excessive amounts of clothes, bags, shoes, jewellery, perfume etc. She never spends much on that stuff anyway.

I honestly think it was a case of helping her family out, then a change in her circumstances - having to move to a new place and subsequently spending more on accommodation/bills/food, reduced hours at work and also I don't think she fully understood what she was getting herself into with the cards and loan etc. Her English isn't brilliant and well, she was probably an easy target for banks trying to sell those things. Is there anyone they won't give credit cards/loans to?

Anyway, we've had a good long chat about it, or should I say, I gave her a long lecture about it! I've looked through all her paperwork and we've discussed it all. She's promised me that she'll never do it again and she knows she's been stupid and is suitably embarrassed. I've told her that in the future I am going to have more involvement with her finances whether she likes it or not, but she was fine about it.

As for helping her out.... Well I'm not going to pay off all her debts as people here have assured me not too. But I'm also not going to do nothing at all. I have decided to help her pay off her credit card debts. It's stupid that she's paying £50-£60 odd per month and that's just paying the interest, she's not actually paying them off. So I'm going to loan her £1,300 to put with her £500 so that she can pay them off. Then I'll set up a direct debit for her to pay me back. At least then she'll just be paying off her debt and not extortionate interest payments.

As for her existing loan, that's her problem I guess. But I'll try and help her with her finances/budget so that maybe she can start paying a bit more off. I also think she is eligible for working tax credits so I will look into that for her as well. Do you think this sounds fair and responsible?

Thanks,

Sam.

JustinCredibleGillespie

Good on you Sam. You obviously have a good head on your shoulders

Hope you both get it sorted.

JCG

xx

vickthestick

Sounds good. Good lad

Turtle

Yes it does, well done for helping hope she appreciates it and you get sorted.

Tina20

megamuel wrote: »

Is there anyone they won't give credit cards/loans to?

ME!
But after reading your story, it's probably for the best. If they don't give me credit then I can't get into debt after all.

bargainbetty

Get the loan detailed in writing, and make a specific agreement for the standing order. X amount for Y months etc.

I know you care, but believe me, you wouldn't be the first or last to break up with someone and have to wave goodbye to your wallet as well as your heart. This way, you'd stand a chance in the small claims court.

Her situation isn't so very bad, and congratulations for helping her sort it out.