I'm devastated, any advice please ?

meer53

Lotus-eater wrote: »

Your original reason you posted was about the hedges, not because they are obnoxious gits, sorry, you change your story, you might get another answer.

Your garden is the size of a postage stamp? The neighbours garden in this story is only 5 metres long, at the end is a huge wall of green conifer, which as others have pointed out, means nothing else will grow and regardless of garden aspect, will be overwhelming and cut down the amount of light into the garden.

As has been said by almost everyone, what the neighbour did by cutting the hedge without asking, is wrong, to do anything without talking, is wrong.
But you still can't get away from the fact, that the OP's house is a long way from the hedge, others are not, she might not have given a thought to the problems it may create, but others did.
Yes they did wrong by letting it ferment within themselves and not talking to the OP and they shouldn't have told their SIL to cut some off it and he (apparently) shouldn't have cut more than asked to do.

The OP should now talk to all of her neighbours that the hedge butts onto and ask what they really think of it. They could cut the whole hedge down to this size and it would make no difference to them anyway, the privacy is still the same, it just would make it nicer for the others.

All the other neighbours have seen what the hedge now looks like, they're all of the same opinion and can't see why this has been done. It's a very close community, there are only 2 streets where we live, we're surrounded by farmland. It would make a huge difference to all our privacy if i were to cut it down to the lower level. Everyone would be able to see into my garden, which wouldn't bother me as i don't live in the garden, but i would be able to see into everyones bedrooms, they're all at the back of their houses as they're all bungalows. I can now see into the bedroom of the neighbour who has cut the hedge !

annie123

If I were in the OP's shoes, after feeling miffed that someone had cut down part of my garden, my second feeling would be one of embarrassment that I'd let my something in my garden grow so big, that neighbours that I consider I get on with, felt the need to do this.

I would be mortified and very apologetic for not considering my neighbours view and outlook. I wouldn't want to think I had caused them to, what appears to be, act out of character.

I wonder OP if you are really annoyed with yourself for not considering your neighbours as 10' is unusually tall for a hedge, especially as you know it backs onto a bungalow with a small garden.

Lotus-eater

meer53 wrote: »

All the other neighbours have seen what the hedge now looks like, they're all of the same opinion and can't see why this has been done. It's a very close community, there are only 2 streets where we live, we're surrounded by farmland. It would make a huge difference to all our privacy if i were to cut it down to the lower level. Everyone would be able to see into my garden, which wouldn't bother me as i don't live in the garden, but i would be able to see into everyones bedrooms, they're all at the back of their houses as they're all bungalows. I can now see into the bedroom of the neighbour who has cut the hedge !

You've posted a picture remember, no one can see into your garden and it wouldn't make a huge difference to your privacy.
Yes you can see into their bedrooms from your upper story, but so can 95%+ of the houses in this country, but think what a difference to them.

Sorry, but you're stuck on, poor little me, that hedge, so close to their houses is plain wrong, at the least inconsiderate.

annie123

meer53 wrote: »

I can now see into the bedroom of the neighbour who has cut the hedge !

I can see into 16 bedrooms over the road from me as they all have bedrooms at the front. I can also see into their living rooms too downstairs and they can all see into mine.......it's called living with other people in a group setting; village, town, city etc.

meer53

Lotus-eater wrote: »

You've posted a picture remember, no one can see into your garden and it wouldn't make a huge difference to your privacy.
Yes you can see into their bedrooms from your upper story, but so can 95%+ of the houses in this country, but think what a difference to them.

Sorry, but you're stuck on, poor little me, that hedge, so close to their houses is plain wrong, at the least inconsiderate.

Read my post properly. I said that if i cut the hedge down to the lower level everyone would be able to see into my garden. I don't have an upper story, my house is a bungalow too. I can see into the neighbours bedroom from my garden.

Try understanding what i've written before replying. You're stuck on arguing when really there is no point, it's been resolved for now. Everyone is happy, including my neighbours who still have the full height hedge.

lostinrates

annie123 wrote: »

I can see into 16 bedrooms over the road from me as they all have bedrooms at the front. I can also see into their living rooms too downstairs and they can all see into mine.......it's called living with other people in a group setting; village, town, city etc.

It would be a shame if op cut her hedge along to match while a neighbour was wishing it had been left.

Personally, i would rather the hedge than being overlooked, and would be sad if i bought a house hedge in place then my neighbours took it down. However, if the neighbours were mainly there before the hedge they would probably not have envisioned this, and op, it might be worth using this a launch pad to ensure all your neighbours are as happy as they are seeming to you right now.

Fwiw, there are loads of occasions where a taller hedge is preferable to some people,....people who run around naked like me, blockingout an industrail view, as a bit of a sound buffer, or just straightfoward odd and introspective.

There is no point turning op into a villain over this. She never had a change to be judged on how she would have handled it if approached before hand with a request for a shortening of the hedge. But op, your community sounds lovely, and they probably value you more than the hedge, but i really would ensure that people are happy with it while you can perhaps make a change prompted by this if necssary. . It might be that some would like it at, say, seven feet rather than ten, and for such good neighbours compromise might be worthwhile and neighbourly if it is required.

Of course, it might be your neighbours are nuts like me who love privacy most of all.:D

meer53

lostinrates wrote: »

It would be a shame if op cut her hedge along to match while a neighbour was wishing it had been left.

Personally, i would rather the hedge than being overlooked, and would be sad if i bought a house hedge in place then my neighbours took it down. However, if the neighbours were mainly there before the hedge they would probably not have envisioned this, and op, it might be worth using this a launch pad to ensure all your neighbours are as happy as they are seeming to you right now.

Fwiw, there are loads of occasions where a taller hedge is preferable to some people,....people who run around naked like me, blockingout an industrail view, as a bit of a sound buffer, or just straightfoward odd and introspective.

There is no point turning op into a villain over this. She never had a change to be judged on how she would have handled it if approached before hand with a request for a shortening of the hedge. But op, your community sounds lovely, and they probably value you more than the hedge, but i really would ensure that people are happy with it while you can perhaps make a change prompted by this if necssary. . It might be that some would like it at, say, seven feet rather than ten, and for such good neighbours compromise might be worthwhile and neighbourly if it is required.

Of course, it might be your neighbours are nuts like me who love privacy most of all.:D

Thanks for your lovely comments :A

The hedge will be 8' tomorrow anyway, it's cut twice every year, the neighbours know this. It is a lovely place to live which is why i've not wanted to move in 25 years. The other neighbours with the hedge have been here longer than me ! I know no-one else has an issue which is why i was "devastated" when i came home on Saturday, i just couldn't understand it. My other neighbours are just as shocked ! Even the Policeman said "OMG!"

You can come and dance naked in my garden anytime ! We'll have a party !

culpepper

LOL a tactful Policeman!
I think nearly everyone in the country has a bedroom that others could see into,we certainly do and that is why we have curtains or blinds which are closed each night.
Although the neighbour's relative was not sensible in hacking the hedge to that extent, the fact still remains that they thought it needed 'lowering'. It will eventually grow back I imagine. Life is too short to fret over some plants at the expense of cold shouldering once friendly neighbours for years to come.

juliebunny

For those of you who have said 'good on the neighbours' for hacking down OPs hedge- where do you draw the line about your neighbours deciding they don't like something that belongs to YOU on YOUR property and unilaterally taking action to remove it without any prior consultation or discussion with the land owner?

You may feel that this is a clear cut case here - big hedge, causing shade - but what if the OP had a tree house that overlooked their garden/caused shade and they didn't like that and just sawed that down? What if they didn't like her kids bouncing on the trampeline cos it annoyed them - can they saw the legs off it too? What if they salted the hedge as some lovely person suggested and killed the whole thing? What if they didn't like your trellis and climbing plants and poisoned them? What if they have buddlias that are attracting lots of bees into your garden too? What if they didn't like your dog looking at them through the fence....what if what if!!! You may think these examples are extreme/stupid but where do you draw the line if you think that it's fine for your neighours to take the law into their own hands.

Lotus-eater

juliebunny wrote: »

For those of you who have said 'good on the neighbours' for hacking down OPs hedge- where do you draw the line about your neighbours deciding they don't like something that belongs to YOU on YOUR property and unilaterally taking action to remove it without any prior consultation or discussion with the land owner?

I'm sorry, WHO has said that?