Feeling positive about what I've achieved so far but sooo lonely...

piglet39

Hello:wave:

Gulp --- jumps in...

I'm a very long term lurker and occasional poster; laughed and cried with some of you lovely people and completed and printed enough SOA's to redecorate my house! I feel so positive about the progress I've made in the last 4 years and accept the personal changes I have made as being the best for myself and my 3 gorgeous boys.

TBH I don't know why I'm writing. I guess I feel I need to just put fingertip to key board...

A bit about what's got me to this point

I'm 42 and I have never been out of debt. I had my first bank account at 16 (yes 16) from Midland Bank with a lovely 25 page cheque book and guarantee card (those were the days when we had to pay for each banking transaction and you could write a cheque at 16 :rotfl:) and I suppose that's where the thrill of spending money started. 20 years or so later I had amassed circa 70K :eek: of debt and had a huge personal crisis on the eve of losing my home (really really about to lose my home) - how I wish I had found you all then.

The positive stuff started to happen after that. I was able to admit for the first time ever the mess I was in (XOH didn't know). Counselling helped me to take control and I slowly started to sort my life out. OH is now gone (we were both responsible for the financial mess we were in 'cos we both spent money we didn't have) but I came to realise a couple of years ago that he had priorities elsewhere iyswim.

Now I'm down to the last 6K and the end is nearly in sight but it's such a lonely journey.

Gosh just read through above and I sound really mis!

Is there anyone else out there doing this on their own?

Piglet x

dorisday

Hi just a quick reply to say well done you must feel so good about yourself and yes im on my own also but somewhat older than you and still in debt but its going slowly.
but I still worry so much about it. xx

hadahardyear

well done pal, thats some acheivement to be proud of.
I like this forum because i have only just started posting more, but theres always something to ask x

camuk81

Piglet, I know that feeling. Just made a payment via the bank to clear off some more debt and told the poor woman on the phone my life story!

Well done Piglet you have come so amazingly far already and you should be so proud of your self with how far you have come for yourself and your boys

abba1772

wow to go from £70k to £6k is a massive achievement :T:T well done

I'm doing it by myself too, I left my Ex hubby and i walked away with £17k debt whilst he only walked away with £12 :mad: and i'm down to my last credit card which has just over £1500

piglet39

Thank you for your kind words all. I really was feeling so miserable last night!

The thing that topped it all off yesterday was the fact that I decided to re-register with a (well known) dating site in response to an email offering me 3 months for £30. Now - I'd worked out that I could afford to do that only to then read the email properly and find the offer had expired so guess I'll have to stick to wandering through the aisles at Mr T's trying to look seductive until the next special offer comes up :rotfl:

Camuk81 - with you there honey! I've lost count of the number of people I've told my life story too.

Abba1772 - similar thing for me too. XOH wouldn't have paid anything (and he wasn't working anyway) and so our biggest debt (37K to Natwest inc interest) would have defaulted. Thankfully I made the last payment to that August 2011

Doris - I don't think we ever stop worrying - how far have you got to go?

Hadahardyear - I love this forum. Although I don't post often it's what is keeping me so determined to be Debt Free.

Thank you all once again :A

Piglet x

rising_from_the_ashes

piglet39 wrote: »

20 years or so later I had amassed circa 70K :eek: of debt

piglet39 wrote: »

Now I'm down to the last 6K

Ohhhh Piglet ..... that's absolutely fantastic and will be a huge inspiration to others:D - well done!:j:j

I'm on my own too - so, although I've cleared it myself - I also have no-one else to blame / share the blame with for getting there in the first place:o.

Keep plodding on and you're so nearly there :T...... have you a DF date in mind?

piglet39

Good morning Rising

My debt busting took a bit of a slow down last summer when I cleared the bank loan and tbh it was only when I found my cc spending creeping up that I realised I had to re-focus. My target is set realistically at Feb 2014 (silly silly reason - I've got it into my head that I would like to enjoy the 2 CT free months which I have never done before) but secretly I'm trying for Christmas/New Year 2013/14.

Apart from the CC I really have got to clear the O/D on my Natwest account so I can take my name off it (still joint with XOH) so thats a fair chunk that I'm aiming to clear first. Not very MSE as the interest on that is lower but come Jan 2013 my CRA files will all be squeeky clean and I can open a new account in my name only for the first time ever:) There's definitely better ways of doing it I know but psychologically this is the best way for me.

Thank you for responding honey :A

Piglet x

abundant1972

Thanks for sharing your story with us... never think we don't want to hear about your ups and downs! You have done amazingly well... bringing up 3 children alongside coping with a life in debt must have been incredibly hard work at times... maybe still is... but as you say - the burden is getting lighter...

One of my hobbies is Astrology (actually a lot more to it than the horoscopes you read in the papers!) and around the age of 42 we hit our Uranus opposition. It is a significant transition that everyone goes through (also called the mid life crisis lol)... The general theme is around reviewing your life thus far... and doing what you want to with your life. Often - if you have ignored past lessons, events can transpire to nudge you in the right direction... but I suspect in your case - financially at least - you are hurtling towards freedom... and a new start for yourself... When you free up space in your life (such as space taken up with worry a debt can cause) - you create a new patch of ground waiting to be planted with something new...

That you are reflecting on your life and lack of partner is ok... Just keep putting out there that you feel ready to share your life with someone...

I feel that a new life is not that far away!!! Keep at it with clearing the debts - ask the Universe for strength (i am a bit cosmic!) to make this last leg of the journey! You're almost there...!!!

piglet39

Wow. Thank you abundant - I guess I am going through a mid-life crisis

abundant1972 wrote: »

That you are reflecting on your life and lack of partner is ok... Just keep putting out there that you feel ready to share your life with someone...

But in Mr T's - now that does make me seem really sad :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

x

abundant1972

Awww <hug>

I'm 39, and still have over 12K to pay off and also been single for ever and a day!!! I don't have kids but it feels like I have a looooooong road ahead sometimes!

Both my brother and sister are married and have 2 incomes and nice houses etc and I still rent and feel like I am light years behind them financially. But - life isn't all money, big houses and fast cars! Whilst having those things would (will!) be lovely... I am able to find happiness in other ways too!!!

Coming on here helps massively - and though I'm on my own - I never feel alone in managing my debts cos of all you guys!!!

:rotfl: