Is this a good get-around for the meal?

Labsettings

Hey guys, long time lurker, second time poster.

My partner and I are planning our wedding, and (we think) we have saved more than enough to cover the costs of the wedding. We haven't set a date yet as we'd prefer to find a venue first, however we are planning on having it around springtime next year.

The thing is, we would both like to thank our family for the support they have shown us throughout the relationship, however we don't want to spend thousands on a meal for all of our guests that they might not even like, paying over the odds just because it's a wedding.

Something we came up with today (probably stealing ideas from others) is that if we held the wedding on, for example, a Saturday, we would have a late ceremony so people have time for lunch beforehand, and a buffet style reception afterwards with the 'traditional' reception bits and bobs (this needs tailoring though as both I and my partner drink little to no alcohol). The day before however, we would take out our closest family (parents, siblings, grandparents) and wedding party out for a meal at a nice restaurant as a way of thanking them, and to spend some quality time with them before the busy ceremony day.

We want everybody to be happy, and we have a guest list of about 50-60, so we could pay for a meal, however this other way seems kind of win-win, we can put the money we would have spent on posh food that most of our friends wouldn't like anyway on things that are more 'us', such as live musicians and so on.

We also thought that we might take our friends away camping for a weekend a month or two before or after the wedding, as a kind of joing stag/hen do. As neither of us drink and we don't really want a fuss we thought that would be the best way to do it, plus it saves our friends (who are mostly couples) having to kind of pay twice for each one to attend a seperate event.

I just want to check that it doesn't sound selfish or wrong in any way I guess!

Thanks for reading!

Labsettings

PS not holding a formal meal on the day also potentially allows us to invite a few more guests to the ceremony, who otherwise we would not have been able to due to meal costs.

mygirllollypop

Sounds like a lovely idea to me x

bubbles0169

Another vote from me being a great idea, you have thought it through, come up with a great solution that will suit you both, your family and friends , it sounds the complete opposite of selfish!
We are getting wed in the posh venue and I'm sure some of the guests won't like what's on the menu (i have compromised though and chosen the tameist we could to please the majority) but the venue is the epitome of how we want to celebrate so tough lol

kitschkitty

Sounds great, be sure to book your date asap though. We wanted an afternoon ceremony and booked 11 months in advance, but 12.30pm was the latest time slot still available!

Oh and we didn't want a full meal (didn't fancy a sit down formal meal or the costs) so we had afternoon tea with sandwiches, and scones, with cream & strawberries and stuff.

arbroath_lass

I think it all sounds really lovely. The only thing I'm not sure about is doing it the day before. Do you think you'll be able to relax and enjoy the time with your family? I'd've been worrying about having forgotten something or (well I was actually) running around collecting things etc.

Are you going on honeymoon straight after? Just wondered if you'd considered the day after the wedding.

Of course you could be a totally calm and organised person, unlike me.

Hope you have a lovely day, whatever you decide.

scrumpy78

We felt exactly the same so we are going for a buffet reception but with all the tables/room set up traditionally ie sashes, centrepieces etc. We are not drinkers either, and only 25% of our guests would be drinking on the day so instead of wine on the tables we are putting money behind the bar for everyones first 3 drinks be it diet coke, coffee or lager. I don't feel the need to have another celebratory meal the night before, I want a light meal, early night and some chilling out ! I'd say have the meal a week beforehand or week after

RainbowDrops

We wanted to do the same, however, I would never have been able to do it the day before!Instead, we organised a BBQ lunch at a pub the day AFTER the wedding. We got it for £5 a head, so we paid for it all. And it was lovely - we got to chat to people in a less formal way, AND we got to reel over the day before

VfM4meplse

A friend made her wedding quite private by having family only attending, but then had an informal party at home for friends only the following week. We all had a great time and it was great not having to wear "wedding" outfits, and was much cheaper than hosting a restaurant meal tthat no-one wanted.

daisiegg

It sounds lovely! A couple of hints: if you want next spring, get cracking on a venue NOW. Also, make sure that your guests are extremely clear that they're not getting a 'proper meal' so they know to have a proper lunch beforehand. Good luck with your planning!

daisiegg

Oh another thing - not sure what kind of venue you're thinking of, but if you were around where I live, for example, you'd struggle to find one that would allow you not to have the sit-down meal. That may just be the poncey over-priced places around here though!