Will child support payments continue during University?

kevin137

Minnie-the-Minx wrote: »

My daughter is a quiet girl who enjoys a good relationship with her dad so there is no way she would consider taking him to Court unless there was absolutely no alternative.

I will just about make ends meet without his contribution as far as my own needs and home expenses are concerned but I will not have any money to help my daughter with Uni expenses and all the 'normal' costs like clothes, hair cuts, coach fares etc. If there was a way for money to go straight from him to her I would have no problem with that - this is not about funding me but about giving my daughter the means to survive University when I am not in a position to help financially.

I'm not quite sure how Bursaries work at University but I imagine that if it is based on my income alone then she will qualify for help. If her father's income is taken into consideration then she may not qualify whether he is helping financially or not.

I would of thought that any Busary would be based on the household of the home, not the income of ALL parents. She lives with you currently, and while she may still live with you while away at UNI, is it really fair that your ex continues to support your household well past the so-called child leaving.

It may well be best to have a chat about how the future unfolds with your ex, and start the conversation with, how do you feel about contributing to your daughters future education rather than to me/us.

He may well see this as a way to part company financially with you but still support his daughter and through that her choices in the world.

If this is possible, it may be that you want some kind of formal agreement so this can happen and supercede the agreement you already have when the child goes to uni.

i think this would be a fairer way to you all, and the new partner wil then see it as an end, albeit continued support and ££££'s it is not to you, so probably far easier to live with...

The definition and the court order would currently be open to interpretation in my view, as the CSA themselves say payment is through tertiary education but does not include UNI, it is quite possibly a grey area in your order and could cost considerable money to fight for, and that leaves no winners apart from the solicitors.

Just my own personal thoughts.

Bluemeanie_2

Hi - just wanted to point out, when I was at University, there were a great deal of students who were only 18 who received no help whatsoever from their parents. Not even with regards to their fees which technically at the time the government expected them to pay (I was on the 1998 - 2006 scheme and even the paperwork on the assessment said that.) That was people with non split up parents etc. I know you would make the decision to support/not support together if you were till together but in this case your not so it really is his individual choice. Not for you to force/put on him.

Minnie-the-Minx_2

kevin137 wrote: »

She lives with you currently, and while she may still live with you while away at UNI, is it really fair that your ex continues to support your household well past the so-called child leaving.

I do understand what you are saying but in effect it means that his responsibility ends and mine never does.

When she goes to University she will have very long holidays which I think/hope she will spend at home - at least for part of the time.

For that reason I cannot move to a smaller property or let her room to a lodger so I have no choice but to keep her room ready and waiting for her and there will be a financial price to pay.

Is it really fair that her father contribute nothing towards me having to keep a home that is larger than my needs so that our daughter still has a place to call home?

His new wife refuses to have anything to do with our daughter so her staying there as an alternative is not an option. If I don't keep a room for her, she will have no home to come back to and I really cannot bear that thought.

I had assumed that he would pay until she was earning a salary and could contribute herself to (my) household expenses or left home 'properly' by which I mean with a home and a job at which point I could down-grade my home to something smaller that I could more easily afford on my own.

Bluemeanie_2

That's awful! You shouldn't marry someone who already has a child then treat her like that!

kevin137

I understand that, but by the same reasoning, when she goes to uni she has a home there.

It is not for you to forever keep a roof over her head, and some kids come to expect it.

I understand the need to want to provide, i have a 17 year old that will be in the same situation when it comes to leaving home for uni in a year or 2, but he already knows that he has to stand on his own 2 feet and provide for himself as we, both my ex and i, cannot afford to keep supporting him indefinitely.

He in doing A levels now, and working part time and saving hard so he is not a burden on either of us financially.

I had a nightmare with the CSA and while i couldn't talk to my ex about finances she understood but would not stop the CSA and now i don't live i the UK she has had to struggle financially without the CSA being able to intervene. By the same token, my son has had all the things he does need paid for, all his schooling equipment is paid for by me, all his clothes are paid for by me, he has a credit card on my account to use as he sees fit, and as i understand it, she is happy for this to be the way now.

UNI is hard to deal with without parents fighting over money, i still think the best thing to do is for him to support her through this and not you, but you have to decide between yourselves.

Minnie-the-Minx_2

kevin137 wrote: »

By the same token, my son has had all the things he does need paid for, all his schooling equipment is paid for by me, all his clothes are paid for by me, he has a credit card on my account to use as he sees fit, and as i understand it, she is happy for this to be the way now.

UNI is hard to deal with without parents fighting over money, i still think the best thing to do is for him to support her through this and not you, but you have to decide between yourselves.

This sounds like a good plan. I just wish I had more confidence in him doing anything more than he is legally required to. I want to believe he will but I just don't see it happening and that worries me.

I can't believe that such an important part of a divorce settlement can be worded ambiguously and be considered a grey area.

janninew

Slightly off topic but if your parents are still together can you sue them if they refuse to support you through Uni?!

My Brother went to Uni and my parents refused to support him, my Dad especially said 'he is an adult now and should be supporting himself' - my Dad is quite old fashioned!! Hasn't done my Brother any harm though, and he is very successful now.

nicky3

In Scotland you can, not sure about England though

RedSky

janninew wrote: »

Slightly off topic but if your parents are still together can you sue them if they refuse to support you through Uni?!

Can parents counter sue their child for misuse of education gained while supporting them before Uni?

janninew

RedSky wrote: »

Can parents counter sue their child for misuse of education gained while supporting them before Uni?

I doubt it!

I can hardly believe than an adult can sue their own parent's for not supporting them in their life choices!