Sad Mother's Day

Boots888

Four leaf clover,

Thanks for your reply - your understanding really touched me. I guess I had a lot to cope with too, organising everything, funeral memorial and her estate - selling the house etc. Argueing the toss with my brother who was useless and of no help, 3 years argueing the toss with what was the Healthcare Commission about the lack of care from her doctors (late diagnosis - "back pain" for 6 months - only diagnosed as being riddled with cancer when admitted to hospital as an outpatient - they had to keep her in and she died 2 weeks later) and argueing the toss with estate agents (sacked 3 of them), argueing the toss with the treasury who tried to get money from estate though they weren't entitled to it

I just ended up argueing with everyone, I remember being very, very angry.

As for councilling, I asked about contacting Cruise Bereavement but was told not to contact them as they weren't "trained". What the hell? - so ended up argueing the toss with my doctor.!!

I'm glad that I started this thread, I didn't want to bring people down on such a "special day" but it's been ...... good for others too.

My heart goes out to all of you.

ps. Four Leaf Clover - my Mum had one of them, she got it encased in glass and kept it hung around the Sherry bottle:beer:

milliemonster

I lost my mum 4 years ago when I was 35 and couldn't visit her grave yesterday as I was working a 12 hr shift. I still miss her like she left just a few days ago, I don't think it ever gets easier, you just learn to adjust your life without her there.

The hardest thing for me, is hearing and seeing everybody going out with their mums and I don't have that anymore and yes I do feel very bitter about it.

But I have my children whom are my world. I totally understand about people not bothering after a few weeks, everyone was totally concerned for my dad but after the funeral the only person to ever call me to see how I was was my sister and to this day that's how it's been, people have only ever asked me how my dad is, that hurts.

But thank you Boots888 for starting this thread, I didn't get to wish my mum a happy mothers day yesterday, but for all our dearly loved mums who we don't have anymore, I hope whereever they are, they had one hell of a party yesterday xxx

geminilady

SailorSam wrote: »

It was 5yrs ago at the end of Feb my Mum died.
I've been the Crem this afternoon and got awful annoyed a card and flowers from one Sister but not the other, there was nothing last month on her Anniversary either.

Just like to say that just because your sister has not left a card or flowers it does not mean she is not thinking of your mum not everyone needs to go to the crem/cemetry to do so

sharloid

My mum passed away at the beginning of February. She was 49. I don't think it's fully sunk in yet, I'm still waiting for her to text me back...

Tiddlywinks

isitenough wrote: »

Lost my mum to cancer at the end of January. I'll be 38 this year and kind of feel I should be more 'mature' about this, but it hurts.
There seems to have been more Mothers Day adverts this year than I remember from past years. Or maybe I just didn't realise what a special day it was before.

No matter how 'old' you are, losing your mum really hurts - I'm the wrong end of my 40s and am a grown up 'professional' but I blubbed like a baby yesterday... how 'mature' is that?

I think when you are recently bereaved you have to go through a whole year of significant dates that will hurt because they are the first where that special someone is not there.

Mum's birthday was in January and only a couple of weeks after she died, then we've had Mothers Day... I've still got an Easter (we spent it with mum), family birthdays (mum always made us silly cakes), Halloween, Guy Fawkes and then Christmas and New Year...hopefully, these things will get easier over time .

Best wishes to you...

Ames

Sharloid, I ended up getting myself a new phone because I couldn't bear seeing her name in my contacts list, or seeing the old texts from her, but I couldn't face deleting them either.

Even now, nearly a year on, I sometimes dial her number by mistake. Every sunday I used to call her, then dad (or the other way round), and I still have to think about which number to ring and remind myself not to automatically dial hers.

isitenough

Thanks Tiddlywinks. Sometimes I feel selfish thinking how it affects me when my Dad has lost the most important person in his life (for over 40 yrs of marriage too). And my older sister too, who seemed closer to Mum than I did.
Yeah you're right. A whole year of dates where things were (kind of) always planned by Mum (more than anyone else tbh).
She died on the Monday but on the Saturday we had my sister's birthday to celebrate. It was actually a good day and wasn't as awkward as we thought (or sad, which seems strange). I think at that time we were still in the relieved stage that she was no longer in pain. But now it's 'real'. (if that makes sense).
I don't actually feel I can talk to anyone if I'm honest. They seem to be just moving on.
We'll be going on a family holiday (with Dad, sis and BIL) in August just as it was planned by Mum & Dad which will be strange, but she still wanted us all to go.

SmallL

isitenough wrote: »

Thanks Tiddlywinks. Sometimes I feel selfish thinking how it affects me when my Dad has lost the most important person in his life (for over 40 yrs of marriage too). And my older sister too, who seemed closer to Mum than I did.
Yeah you're right. A whole year of dates where things were (kind of) always planned by Mum (more than anyone else tbh).
She died on the Monday but on the Saturday we had my sister's birthday to celebrate. It was actually a good day and wasn't as awkward as we thought (or sad, which seems strange). I think at that time we were still in the relieved stage that she was no longer in pain. But now it's 'real'. (if that makes sense).
I don't actually feel I can talk to anyone if I'm honest. They seem to be just moving on.
We'll be going on a family holiday (with Dad, sis and BIL) in August just as it was planned by Mum & Dad which will be strange, but she still wanted us all to go.

Its truely best that you go, me and my OH went on a holiday that was planned by OH's parents but sadly his mum lost her battle with cancer only two weeks before the holiday, on her dying day she said we should all still go.
It was lovely to 'get away' and be able to deal with our grief without the worry of aspects of daily life

can6342

Boots888, thank you so much for this thread. It's been less than 4 months since I lost my mum and she was so young, only 57. Taken suddenly.
I wish I'd had the chance to thank her properly for all the things she did for me.. My mum was the best.

Big hugs to everyone here xxx

isitenough

Thanks SmallL. Yep, we're all still going and it's a lovely place in Brittany. But it will be strange. She'll be there in spirit - and a big picture!
Sorry to hear that can6342. Stay strong.