Work Advise - Depression Related

AbstruseAlan

Hi all,

I'm 21 and have recently been off work due to depression for about the past 6 weeks. Before the doctor signed me off (after seeing me for the first time in 5 years) I'd been at my job for around 2 and a half years. In this time, I've had a new son, moved out of my home into girlfriends and have struggled on a whole for the past few months. This has effected my punctuality at work and become very stressful. I've been given disciplinary's and warnings and I'm on a written warning. I feel like over the past months, I've been a victim of my work putting pressure on me and blowing up every time I come in late or make any sort of minor mistake.

As I said, it's been 6 weeks since I've been at work and my job have now sent me a letter requesting I go in Friday at 2pm to discuss my time off and ways to get myself back to work. I've recently heard from a colleague I worked with who was in the exact same situation as me and when she eventually went back, they used the reason of her phoning in sick late one time to sack her.

I really do not feel ready to return to work but feel pressurised by my employers and fear dismissal on my return. This is getting me down even more and making me feel trapped and helpless.

Can someone please advise me on what to say or do if they do such things. Do I HAVE to go to the meeting friday at work? (I feel anxious, scared and have been struggling with public places).

sweaty_betty

Hi there - I'm not sure about any legal side of this, but if work is contributing to your stress/depression it could be argued that going in to discuss things could make you worse.

Your employer probably wants to move forward as you've been off a while so is attempting to fulfil their duty of care (hence the meeting) by trying to find out what they can do to help. Whether they have ulterior motives on this (from what you've said about your colleague in similar circumstances) or not, there's no way of knowing.

Personally in your shoes I would speak to my GP and ask them if they can provide anything you can give to work to say that you are not well enough to attend the meeting specifically. Then contact work to tell them this, but say that you hope to be better enough to discuss things with them soon (then they won't feel that they're being fobbed off indefinitely).

Good luck

CFC

If your doctor advises that you do not attend the meeting, tell them this. However avoiding the meeting is not the best choice from the perspective of work relations.

Would you feel better if the meeting was at your home? This is an option you can ask for.

Work cannot persuade you to return until your fit note says you can. They will be looking to find out how long you think you may be off for - is there light at the end of the tunnel etc - and whether they can make it easier for you to return to work by offering adjustments such as reduced hours for a while.

Please do bear in mind that being late for work is not a minor issue and they are not victimising you in issuing disciplinaries for being late. Many other people have a lot going on in their life, but they still manage to get into work on time by putting a high priority on that, which it doesn't appear you are doing.

If your colleague was on the final level of warning and was late again - in this case phoning in sick late (without good reason presumably) she was probably dismissed as a continuation of the lateness process.

AbstruseAlan

I fully appreciate your response about lateness but as a 20 year old, it's a shock to the system having a baby and moving out of home. When depression hits, you lose motivation to do anything, it's hard to get out of bed, you're going into and coming home agitated and down. My lateness however, had improved mass amounts compared to before but still I received a disciplinary for 2 minor lates in 2 months. The average worker probably does this (we're a big retail store) so it appears to be a little harsh and one rule for one, another for the rest.

paddedjohn

Is depression the new bad back? years ago loads of people were off work with bad backs now they're off with depression.
OP, going back to work will give you a break from family life (new house, new baby) and will probably make you feel better about yourself and give you a routine, get up earlier if you dont want to be late for work.

Emmzi

your employer does not care that you have moved house and had a baby or are 20. Plenty of people do all these things.

They are paying you to do a job and expect you to turn up and do it.

By all means talk about depression as a mitigating factor but harping on about your home life, which is busy but by no means abnormal, is not going to get you a good result here.

Ask to see Occupational Health to discuss rehab plans.

Judith_W

Just to make you aware they can sack you due to capability if you continue to be off sick. It will take a while as they have to follow the appropriate process. I would suggest talking to the GP for confirmation you do not have to attend. I would then go to work and suggest a phone call if you feel this is possible. Also, if you are uncomfortable about them pushing anything on you whilst you are fragile, either ask about having a companion or make it clear in an email or at the beginning of the conversation that you are not able to make any decisions/ give accurate timeframes etc

CFC

AbstruseAlan wrote: »

I fully appreciate your response about lateness but as a 20 year old, it's a shock to the system having a baby and moving out of home. When depression hits, you lose motivation to do anything, it's hard to get out of bed, you're going into and coming home agitated and down. My lateness however, had improved mass amounts compared to before but still I received a disciplinary for 2 minor lates in 2 months. The average worker probably does this (we're a big retail store) so it appears to be a little harsh and one rule for one, another for the rest.

As an employer, I do not care about your lack of motivation, I care about having someone in on time to do the job.
At the end of the day unless you fall under legislation you will either need to get into work at an agreed time or your scheduled time, or be sacked eventually for it. If you do fall under legislation then eventually you may be terminated on capacity grounds if you can't get yourself into work.

Do you have any evidence that other people are being repeatedly late and not being disciplined - you have just mentioned that another person was?