This is the mess I've gotten into.....

Mad_Gran

Hi,

I haven't actually sat and worked this all out before, I am horrified by how huge my debts are. I've realised that I've reached the point of no return and today I've taken the first steps to sort it.

I've been off work with depression for months, so my income is lower than it should be and I've been buying treats to cheer me up. My partner pays most of the bills with me chipping in for food and entertainment, so that's why there is no rent or mortgage payment going out.

He knows I have debts, but I think he thinks in the region of a couple of grand, he has NO idea of the grand scale of things.

The only reasoning behind this lot is that I love my craft stuff and I REALLY love my holidays. I've had a "head in the sand" attitude to paying it all off, but now it's out of control.

Tomorrow I'm due to contact a (free) company who will help liaise with the credit card people.

So this is the SOA........




Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet

Household Information
Number of adults in household........... 1
Number of children in household......... 0
Number of cars owned.................... 0

Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 671
Partners monthly income after tax....... 0
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 0
Total monthly income.................... 671

Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 0
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
Rent.................................... 0
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 0
Electricity............................. 53
Gas..................................... 0
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 0
Telephone (land line)................... 0
Mobile phone............................ 15
TV Licence.............................. 21
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 0
Internet Services....................... 15
Groceries etc. ......................... 60
Clothing................................ 10
Petrol/diesel........................... 0
Road tax................................ 0
Car Insurance........................... 0
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 0
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 60
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 8
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
Buildings insurance..................... 0
Contents insurance...................... 0
Life assurance ......................... 0
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 20
Haircuts................................ 0
Entertainment........................... 10
Holiday................................. 50
Emergency fund.......................... 0
Total monthly expenses.................. 322


Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 0
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 0
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 0

No Secured nor Hire Purchase Debts

Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
barclaycard....................4407......99........0
loan...........................1200......136.......0
m credit card..................2470......62........0
T credit card..................5265......92........0
V credit card..................8097......238.......0
second loan....................3295......137.......0
Total unsecured debts..........24734.....764.......-


Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 671
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 322
Available for debt repayments........... 349
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 764
Amount short for making debt repayments. -415

Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 0
Total HP & Secured debt................. -0
Total Unsecured debt.................... -24,734
Net Assets.............................. -24,734

Created using the SOA calculator at
Reproduced on Moneysavingexpert with permission, using other browser.

princess*daisy

Hi there :wave:

Well done on taking the first steps. I totally empathise with you because I have been off work with mental health problems and also had my LBM at same time.

It seems like you live fairly frugally at present, so upping your income is the only thing I can suggest. Do you have things you could sell on eBay etc?

Hopefully a DMP would help you get more manageable repayments.

Obviously it's your choice, but my main advice would be to come clean with your partner. I'm sure he wouldn't want you to struggle alone and might be able to help.

Good luck xx

camuk81

Gran can I ask what is the £60 a month for other travel and can you maybe reduce the holiday budget to £40 or lower.

I'm going to sound really cynical but we haven't had half a chance to get away and I've put a self imposed ban on holidays till I get sorted, Trust me I'd love a week away at the minute but I'm keener on clearing it all off.

Also try getting all the apr for all the cards you'll need that for your chat tomorrow.

If you have an old statement it should tell you or at least the monthly interest where you can work it out from there

thevictory

I know what I'm about to say is NEVER the first option to consider, in fact, it's the last thing you should consider but it redeemed me from the financial/emotional stress and downward spiral I was in (I was at a point of no return - unless I hit the lottery): Ch 7 Bankruptcy. Again, this is ALWAYS a last and final resort to start with a clean slate and completely rehabilitate your relationship with money. I will admit to you now, I was ashamed, hurt and disappointed in myself when I came to the realization that I had to file for Bankruptcy, but once it was all said and done and I had not one debt to keep me awake at night (with the exception of my school loans of course) I can't say I wouldn't do it again IF it was my only option. I can't even explain how deep in the hole I was and how desperate my situation had become, but I will say my debt was almost double yours and I was only making $1800/month.

Ch 7 BK has restored my peace of mind, yet I still battle with the shame of sharing my story with others. I felt so awful I felt like I had to ask God to forgive me for filing, seriously. And like you, I was also ashamed to share my situation with my boyfriend who I was terrified to tell about it. It took me three months to tell him. Mostly because he was SO financially stable and responsible and was talking about marriage...I kept thinking he would think I was this irresponsible, money burning low-life who has this ugly stain on her credit for the next decade. I finally told him and he totally laughed at me for being so scared to tell him and didn't see it as an issue that couldn't be overcome. At the end of the day, if someone loves you, they love you and all your imperfections. As long as you are taking the necessary steps to better yourself why would someone reject you for being human and making a mistake? If they do reject you, well, is that someone you really want to be with if they could be so shallow and near sighted?

I can admit, I WAS very irresponsible and I WAS burning through money, but I am glad I had to go through the experience of filing as I came out of it much more educated about my bad habits, how they thrive, and how they can be corrected. When filing bankruptcy, it is a requirement that you participate in financial counseling and budget/spending training courses and I am so glad it was a requirement. I have a COMPLETELY different relationship with my money now and I can honestly say that there is no way I could ever end up in that situation again. There are those "weak" times when I buy something negligible here or there that I probably shouldn't have or that I didn't actually "need", but because a BUDGET is in place, I can make up for it and pull from other "reserves." I still have to keep even these temporary "falls off the wagon" at a bare minimum but at least that's something I'm conscious of now, I wasn't before.

Fortunately, with the Bankruptcy on my credit I have been able to get a job, keep my present bank account (which I opened as soon as I decided to file - I stopped using my then current bank account per my Lawyer's instructions) and cell phone, and the car I already owned outright. I am now in the process of moving out of my parent's house, so I will come back and update you to let you know how the apartment hunting process goes in terms of credit applications and how the BK will weigh up there.

Additionally, there are methods to immediately begin rebuilding your credit (with pre-paid credit cards, etc.) so that lenders will see that you are being responsible and trustworthy and will extend you credit for cars, homes (first time home buyers have many options here especially), etc. I can't tell you how many credit offers I've been getting from credit card companies literally selling their card as my "fresh start" after a bankruptcy. Yes, there are lenders that solicit new bankruptcy filers looking to start rebuilding their credit right away. But it's been almost two years since I filed and I still can't bring myself to get a credit card lol.

This experience has made me reluctant to own a credit card, so we'll see if that is something I ever feel comfortable with again, but I am perfectly comfortable with my debit visa card right now and have had no problems using it for a hotel, and car rental, etc. For now I can say I don't regret my decision, I simply regret the spending habits and behaviors that put me in a position in which I had no other option except bankruptcy. BEFORE bankruptcy, consider ALL your options (going back to school so that you can explore a career that earns more money, debt consolidation/counseling, etc.) first, but just know that you don't have to suffer through this allowing debt to make you feel hopeless or doomed.

Our debtors will always benefit more than we will from lending us money. Why else would they continue to extend us credit that they know affords us a lifestyle beyond our own means? Evaluate your relationship with money, your spending habits AND the reasons behind why you spend the way you do and start to work towards changing it all, drastically and completely. It's what I did, and that's why I suggest it as an OPTION, because it worked for me. Life wasn't meant to be lived a slave to debt. You have to live, and you have to LEARN. I learned a very valuable lesson from filing bankruptcy and I never want to have to resort to it again.

Mad_Gran

Thanks all.

Camuck, the "other travel" is for my bus fares to work, and the "holiday" budget hasn't been thought out properly, we have a timeshare and I will be expected to pay for my flights and contribute towards food etc. We don't spend very much when away as we like exploring more than drinking. £30 might cover it if I can get a reasonable deal on flights.

I think my other half would pay for my flights so he doesn't have to go alone, but he would be unbearable to live with from booking the flights to several months after the holiday, and no better if he didn't pay and ended up not going because of me. You don't sound cynical about holidays by the way, just sensible. And if the apartment wasn't there I wouldn't be budgeting for a holiday at all. If we split up over this he'll keep the apartment and I'll have no holidays for the foreseeable, probably forever to be truthful - there'll be no credit cards to put them on.

Victory - bankruptcy sounds the easy option to be honest, I'm just worried that it would drag my partner in even though the debts aren't his. He has bailed me out in the past to the tune of a couple of grand, but he gets so mad that I can never divulge the full extent of the debt.

that's what started the spiral really, he found out I owed a couple of grand and paid the card off, but then insisted I pay him back at a level that meant I couldn't afford anything else - I went from paying something like 30 quid a month to £150 (this was over 10 years ago), that meant that if I wanted to go out with friends or even buy a magazine it went on the plastic, which developed into a nasty habit of using the cards for everyday stuff which they should never be used for.

I'm a complete impulse buyer and would be better off without the cards so I can't give in to the temptation.

It'll be another difficult day today while I talk to these people, and then I'll have to start trying to put my precious stuff on ebay - not that I'll get anything like what it's worth to me, but needs must.

thanks again for the replies

curlytop12

does your OH pay mortgage/council tax/bills etc and your salary is "yours" sort of thing,because it seems its not a full SOA.

well done,btw,on trying to sort this and good luck too

Mad_Gran

Hi gem,
Yes, my OH picks up the main bills as he views the house as His. I just get to pay the fuel bills as he works away all week so he views them as all mine, which is fair enough.

Mad_Gran

Sooo, I've just got off the phone with the lovely Dave and CCCS are going to help me sort it all out.

It looks like I'll be nearly 60 by the time its paid off, but that will be massively reduced if I can get back to work. I feel much better for having made a start.

Now to start selling my books and old clothes on ebay.

curlytop12

Mad_Gran wrote: »

Sooo, I've just got off the phone with the lovely Dave and CCCS are going to help me sort it all out.

It looks like I'll be nearly 60 by the time its paid off, but that will be massively reduced if I can get back to work. I feel much better for having made a start.

Now to start selling my books and old clothes on ebay.

thats great news,especially you feeling better about it all.

selling books-compare amazon and green metropolis for selling fees too,i think i've read on MSE these sites are better for books.

p.s. join top cashback- you get money back when using ebay

Little_Miss_Uni-Debt

Hello Mad Gran:j

Just wanted to drop a note and say hi & well done for starting on it now.

I'm sure the CCCS will set you on the right road and that will lift a weight off.

It might be good to look through any paperwork and see if you can note down the interest rates of your cards/loans.

While CCCS are in the process of negotiating on your behalf it's good to know what interest rates you are paying - at least until they agree to freeze interest anyway!

I've always found the more information you are armed with, the better. So you're always aware of your current situation and know your exact balances each month. It puts you in control! :T