Another 'am I being fair' question.....

ska_lover

NEWSFLASH

Ben n Jerrys is half price in the CO-OP right now

peaceandfreedom

peachyprice wrote: »

There is a certain degree of buying what individuals like, for example all three of my children prefer different flavour crisps so I buy say a six pack of each which are then tipped into a big box, they know each others faves so will avoid them unless they have a real fancy for each others. OH and I like ice cream cones with nuts on, which the children don't like so they only really get eaten by us but there is a varied supply of yogs in the fridge in the flavours they like but we don't, but no-one would be in the least upset if someone ate their fave.

Things can work a bit like that in our house - there are specific things that certain people like more than others and I try to cater for all tastes, but nothing is specifically ear-marked for anyone. There are quite a few things that I like that no-one else does (handy that ) so I would be surprised if I went to eat it for lunch and it was gone but I'd just find something else to eat.

Sometimes my oldest puts a post-it note warning off predators if she's bought something for herself and puts it the fridge - but that's her student-digs mentality there.

peaceandfreedom

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

My ex used to steal the biscuits from the cupboard and hide them in his bedside cabinet just so the children couldn't have them. Did similar with the toothpaste and shampoo he liked as well. And the most expensive items from my toolkit, batteries, pens - anything that was nice and the children might have liked/used/needed, really.

He really was a t0sser.

Blimey, bet you were glad to see the back of him, how extraordinary!

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

peaceandfreedom wrote: »

Blimey, bet you were glad to see the back of him, how extraordinary!

Absolutely delighted.

When he announced that he was leaving (expecting tears and hysterics, with promises to change, no doubt), it took so much effort not to laugh, it hurt for days afterwards. And I nearly bit my lip and tongue straight through.

cherub1965

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

My ex used to steal the biscuits from the cupboard and hide them in his bedside cabinet just so the children couldn't have them. Did similar with the toothpaste and shampoo he liked as well. And the most expensive items from my toolkit, batteries, pens - anything that was nice and the children might have liked/used/needed, really.

He really was a t0sser.

i thought my ex hubby was the only one who did stuff like that.vile person he was. our son had just started full time in school and used to take packed lunch and i used to buy all the thomas tank biscuits,fromage frais,carton drinks, anything to encourage him to eat his lunch really and the maggot would wait until i had gone to bed, go in the fridge and cupboard and eat them all leaving nothing for the morning.and yes there was other stuff for him to eat. i hated him for that. in the end i started stashing everything in a drawer me and my son knew as the secret drawer:D. still call it that now and hes 20.
the man i live with now is the opposite,hes a chef and batch cooks for our freezer.my son was down today for a cash boost :cool: and my OH gave him a lift back to his uni digs and practically emptied the freezer of meals for my son to take back.
as for sharing everythin,doesnt happen here. if i do an online shop i wil get him snacky things for when he comes in as he has his meals in work except for days off,like tubs of olives with feta,pork pies,them seabrooks curry crisps etc but i wouldnt think 'oh i better get myself the same amount'.like he nipped the supermarket before and he bought me a huge bag of cherries and some rum and raisin fudge.nothing for himself. we dont live week to week shopping, 2 freezers are always full,good store cupoboard etc. i find the concept of sharing everything totally alien
as for my son, he was an only child so any goodies were his anyway but we always seemed to have friends round so he would go in the secret drawer,take maybe a sixpack of kitkats or something and share them.he's never been greedy,maybe because there was never any restriction on stuff.i've been known to have to polish his easter eggs off when he was younger because he didnt want them.....wierdo!!

faerie~spangles

Reading back the OP's threads it is obvious that there are issues which need addressed, sooner rather than later.

Mrs.W_2

ETA: I left this thread some time earlier this evening, then did not check back before replying. *crumbs*


I cannot understand all the 'want' and 'need' when talking about the distribution of treats in a household.

My children are two and a half and eight and a half. Both of them know good behaviour is rewarded with treats. And anything less means no treats.

It's my husband who has no control. If I go to bed before him and have not put our eldest daughter's lunch away in her lunchbox, he won't even give a second thought to snacking out on the dolmades or filled pitas meant for her lunch.

It's all about knowing the people you live with. And accepting you sometimes need to work around them.

fluffnutter

tinktinktinkerbell wrote: »

not rude but wrong

i do not have food issues

Hmm, there's no point squabbling about it of course, but psychologists would probably argue that most people with significant weight problems have issues with food, else why else are they eating far more than the need?

Plus you've said before that you think you have a weight problem because of how your mother was with your diet when you were younger. I distinctly remember one post where you blamed her for your weight problems in adult life because she didn't let you have treats when you were growing up, hence you've compensated ever since.

Those are issues with food.

dibuzz

I used to have to hide the kids' lunch box food as well, my ex took great delight in eating things knowing he was depriving someone else of it.
If I was ever given a box of chocolates I couldn't eat them over a few days like I always had before as they would be gone in minutes and he deliberately ate my favourite ones first so I couldnt have them, they were flavours he didn't like
My kids still ask before they eat something and if there's only one they ask if it's ok to eat it but fruit is a free for all whenever they fancy it.
The only time things are portioned up is at christmas when they've been given various selection boxes and sweets. We then put them in a named ziplock bag in the fridge.
It's sad to see so many people having issues with food, especially chocolate.

System

When all the kids were at home there was endless squabbles about who ate all the crisps/sweets/chocolates so the fairest way i could do it was buy 6 small baskets with each name on. On shopping days i would fill up the baskets with 7 bags of crisps, 7 chocolate bars and 7 packets of sweets. Each child had one of each to last a week it was up to them if they took them to school for lunch or ate them at home. Then they moaned they didnt like a particular flavour crisps so i started to buy plain.

Hubby had a basket too as he was always dipping into the kids baskets which caused no end of hastle.

Now ive only got one son left at home things arent so rigid but he has started to ask first which is good because he is prone to stuff his face just before meal time and then cant eat his dinner.