upset the bride?

affordmylife

i cant say as id be bothering to go trouser suit or not.

i think you could better spend your time with your family and the friends who you spend time with and their families - sounds much more fun and you can wear what you like xx

robster1964

I wouldn't go if I was you. You don't seem to have any genuine friendship towards each other. I understand about the hen do's... Some friends I would go to the ends of the earth for, but others, you have to prioritise really.
That said, if you do go. And she wants everyone in trouser suits��Then just go with the flow, it's her big day after all!

Robster x

Brightside

Anyone can attend a church service - unless there is a specific court order which stops them going.

Your legs must be stunning if she is insisting you are in a trouser suit!

Debbiecatal

Brightside wrote: »

Your legs must be stunning if she is insisting you are in a trouser suit!

Exactly my first thoughts when I read this!

Seriously, sometimes friendships run their natural course and come to an end. Maybe this is happening in your case.

My daughter is getting married in September and she has one friend who is an old schoolfriend and only really a friend through habit. My daughter is often not included in invitations from them and when they are all together it can be quite difficult as they no longer really have anything in common other than their history, and to be honest, probably don't like each other very much!

She has decided not to invite her to the wedding, which she accepts is probably the last nail in the coffin of their friendship, but says that it will be for the best and much more honest.

Perhaps you are also in this situation? Ask yourself what you are losing if you don't go, and whether you are happy to lose it. Then you can make a decision.

Good luck!

JimmyTheWig

By not going you are saying that you don't really care about the friendship. If that's the case then you may as well not go. But don't then expect to be invited to the next event and the chances are the friendship will drift further apart.

But if you do want to remain friends then I think you should make the effort to go. She's said she doesn't mind who you take with you so, assuming the venue is licenced to accept children, then you can take your OH and children if you want. Or if you'd rather, make the effort and find someone to have the children and just the two of you go. Or leave your OH at home with the children and go on your own / with a friend.

But I do think this dress-code thing is odd. Are you really saying that she has told you what to wear but not told anyone else what to wear? That is really, really odd. I'd want to find out what that was all about before I did anything more about it. Ask her. Might be that she didn't mean you had to wear one, just that she thinks you always look nice in one. Or everyone is wearing them as some sort of theme. Or as her oldest friend (maybe you are, even if you're not that close any more) she has a special role for you in the evening that she hasn't told you about yet. Or she's got a single male friend who she hopes to lure you away from your OH with and he likes women in trouser suits. Look, I'm getting tenuous here now. Just ask her!
For me, the reasonableness of this request / explanation would determine whether I went or not.

elvis86

Disfunctionality of the friendship aside, I never understand when people post things like the trouser suit request; why didn't you just ask her what it was about when she said it?!

If that was me I would have said (quite incredulously), "Eh? What are you on about? Why do I have to wear a trouser suit?!".

I can't fathom why, when it's a partner or friend, people come here asking what they meant by it, rather than just asking the person themselves?

Trouser suit-gate aside, it doesn't sound like either you or this "friend" are that interested in each other, so I'd be tempted to not go to the wedding and call time on the friendship. They're really not worth keeping going just for the sake of it.

As for those of you pointing out that anyone is entitled to attend a wedding ceremony; why would you want to crash a wedding where you weren't wanted? Unless you were planning to cause a scene and object, I can't understand why any sane person would do this. If you weren't invited then you weren't wanted there, so why would you take it upon yourself to go anyway?

Hollie84

Me,i wouldnt go.i wont have anyone dictate to me what to wear and i certainly wouldnt stand for a so called friend telling me to get a baby sitter and that my partner wasnt welcome!

If my kids and partner arnt then im not welcome either.our children come everywhere with us afterall there our children why should we palm them off onto someone else,afterall we chose to have them.
If she was a friend then she would put aside her feelings to your partner and invite u both,afterall how much time is she really going to spend in your presence,weddings are busy and brides and grooms arnt able to give there full attention to all.

As for the suit,if u want to go wear what u want not what someone tells you to wear,the cheek!

sugarwalsh

REgardless of how your friend appears it seems you aren't bothered. Personally I wouldn't want a guest to come if they couldn't be bothered.

sweetilemon

I'm with the majority, decide if shes worth keeping as a friend then base your decision on that. Trouser suit...are you pretty hot and shes not? Very odd.
The church thing, its really common here for loads of the community to attend the church uninvited...puts me right off!

Brighton_belle

What a bizarre request the trouser suit is. I generally have one decent outfit that lasts several years of weddings/special events. I just can't get my head round being told what to wear..and you you aren't even going to the actual wedding!

You don't sound like you like her very much so like everyone else - decided if you want the friendship to continue and base your decision on that. Some friendships are for life, and some for specific period of time. We don't have to keep friendships going that have run their natural course - that way lies madness and exhaustion.