In a crisis

Poosmate

Hi Mrpips and welcome. As Whitewings has said you need to stop and take a breath for a moment.

I should imagine your ex-f is feeling pretty crappy atm, maybe worrying that her financial future and that of her daughter is going to be dragged through the mire and ruined for ever more. It really doesn't have to be like that. She's probably in shock and having all kinds of panic thoughts going through her head. Her finishing with you is possibly a knee-jerk reaction and if you can get together a plan to show her that you will deal with this problem but need her moral support, she will come round and you can earn her trust once again.

I think you maybe need to come up with a couple of plans. If your status in the household is to change permanently then surely it would be unfair of her to expect you to contribute as much to the household bills as you do - say if you remain in the house as a lodger then maybe you should pay her a set amount each week/month.

If she is adamant that your relationship is over and she wants you to leave then you could conceivably walk away, see a solicitor about transferring your 27% share back to her and you will have no obligation to make any contribution to that household.

This is going to sound awfully like blackmail but really its not, its a very real scenario that she may have to face if your relationship really is over, how would she cope financially without your income?

If you love her, fight for her. Show her that you can get out of this mess you are in. Be prepared for some tough times ahead, take it on the chin and eat humble pie for a while. Remember she'll be feeling very shocked, hurt and betrayed right now and probably very scared of her future.

Maybe it would help if you could do another SOA with just your contributions to the household (assuming those in the original are the shared amounts), that way we can see how YOU can reduce YOUR outgoings without impacting on her financially.

Best of luck.

Poo