How do you stay positive?

missrlr

Look forwards not backwards, if you want scary debt see my signature!

TakingControl

You have come such a long way :T I try and stay positive by looking at my journey -

LBM November 2011 with debts at £45K :eek: Estimated DFD was 2015 and by frugal living and selling anything I own, I am now in my last 13 months of debt repaying. Next year this time I will be saying 'One more payment' :D And I am 8 years older than you and haven't got a house either, I am house sharing.

Anyway, every month I know I am closer to the DFD date and then if I can manage to do this 2 more years, I will have a 20% deposit saved for my own house.

gambledandlost

Over the last few months I have been through every emotion imaginable with my debt - from thinging 'sod it, I'll get declared bankrupt' to 'where are the sleeping pills?' After sitting down and listing EVERY debt, outgoing and incoming I have realised that I can pay my debts - I could do it in 5 years without any 'luxuries' such as salt or kitchen roll, or I can do it in 20 years and with careful shifiting to 0% cards, I can pay my debts whilst having a life.
I have good people in my life, a safe roof over my head, hot water, electricity, food in the fridge (albiet Asda vaule tins),a job and achievable dreams; making me a heck of a lot better off than some people in this world - including those with millions in the bank.

determined_new_ms

antonic wrote: »

By knowing that now, after 74 months of repayments , I only have 10 to go.

When I still had years to go, I used to think "this time next year I am 12 months closer to finishing" and last December I got to the final 12 months to go.

Dont worry, you can do it !.

Learning2Budget wrote: »

We had our lbm in 2008. Found out yesterday we now have 5 years and 4 months left on our debt. There are days when i feel like total c**p but if i focused on them i would be totally depressed. When either myself or dh is having a down day we discuss the future. So holidays or stuff we want to do to the house. I should be debt free the month before my birthday at this rate. So my 40th will be a big blow out before we start saving.
You've not got long left so look to the future and make plans.
L2B.x

wow you both have my upmost respect and admiration. L2B really hope you can get some full & finals to bring that date down quicker :A

OP - it really is tough and everyone who is either paying off debt or has done knows that it can be really grinding at times and moods can ebb & flow. The only things I can say I did was keep looking at if you could squeeze your budget to clear your debts quicker (relatively short term sacrifice to get a better standard of life in the not too dim future), upping your income by selling stuff, taking on a second job, and getting the things you want & want to do as frugally as possible. Those things made it easier, and I agree the more you can do this and the more you can throw at your debts the more motivating it can be. Definitely towards the end its like a rolling stone that has gathered a lot of moss.

But of course there are days (and weeks sometimes) when it feels too rough, and too long - I think I remember being about 1/2 way through clearing my debts when it felt like as far back as I could remember and as far forward as well and it sucked. I think when it gets like that you need to be extra kind and nurturing to yourself, have an emergency bar of choc in the house, run a bubble bath, have a glass of wine, call a friend, go out for a coffee and a gossip with your best friend - anything just to get through it

Why don't you post your SOA and see if anyone has any suggestions about ways to get more out of your budget? hths x

Rochdale_Guy

Hi,

Hang on in there. It IS tough, but certainly manageable with you owing £5,886.88

We all have own horror stories to tell, and I could say I wish I owed nearly £6k, as opposed to the £27k I owe... and you won't have this debt hanging round your neck for the next 17 years and 10 months, but I won't as it would be bad to use your thread to have a whinge about my stupid debts (too late, sorry!), as we are all in different situations and have unique circumstances.

And I know there are people who are worse off than me....

We're all in the same boat on here, and the people are great! :T


It's just that some of us are seemingly trapped forever on this rough sea ocean adventure whereas others are fortunate enough to have a day pass! :rotfl:

Stay strong, be positive and you CAN do this!

Best wishes,
Rochdale_Guy

As for the original question: How do you stay positive?

Well, chocolate and copious amounts of cheap alcohol do help! :rotfl:, but more important is the genuine support you will get from the amazing, kind, generous wonderful people on this forum, & you never know, you may end up making a friend for life on here! [YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE! HELLO! :wave:]

Stranger things have happened

Take care :beer: :j

yorpington

I asked a similar question recently and got some great advice. Our total remaining debt/projected DFD are not so different, so I know how you feel.

Some of the best tips I had were to work out the percentage you've paid back so far, because this increases constantly, if not necessarily quickly! And also looking back at how far you've come as opposed to how far you still have to travel. I'm trying to be grateful and proud that I at least have HAD my LBM, and am on the right path.

Coming on here has been really helpful too. I lurked at first but have now started posting as I feel it provides an extra boost just to talk to people in the same boat as you.

Well done on all your progress so far! :T

naimone

Hi,

I stay positive by reminding myself that I am in control of my money these days. Previously my thinking was that I could simply take out another loan to consolidate my existing debt. Problem was that I wouldn't change the habits that got me that debt. I was regularly 'consolidating' my debt for the first 25 years of my working life.

LBM was in 2008, still in debt but target is Christmas this year. By being in control, I have managed to replace my car (scrappage deal), get a new bathroom fitted, have structural work done on the house, and slowly continue to renovate the house (serious doer-upper that was all that we could afford).

Keeping it simple, stay positive by setting your goal and firmly focussing on it. Financial surprises will still arise; this years surprise is our son getting married. Look at your finances in annual not monthly terms and the 'surprise' factor can be reduced. Looks like you are thinking this way already. The MSE site is loaded with bits and pieces that will help nibble away at your debt.

Even though I am making headway, there are still the occasional days when I wish my spreadsheet's outstanding debt column had no red, negative balance numbers in it. Just focus on the fact that the negative number is smaller than it used to be.

All the best to you for your future.

GB2408

Personally I think obsessing over your finances on a daily basis and constantly watching the calendar until payday you are driving yourself insane. I used to do the same but decided it was getting me nowhere once I had a plan. All I focussed on doing day to day is making sure I stuck to my budget for food, shopping, living etc and trying not to worry about debts.

Won't help you repay your debt any faster but stressing constantly will do you no favours

beautifylife

Sometimes when we focus on ourselves and our circumstances it can feel really difficult.

It helps to look at what you have in your life, not what you don't. What can you be grateful for right now in the moment? Gratitude is a powerful energy.

I don't live at home, still I live in what I describe as a box. I have what I need to live, but very little else. I was unable to go home, my Mother wasn't prepared to help me although she has the room. To me that would have been a minor miracle!

I was left to sort myself out with no support from family although I do have some very supportive friends. I'm paying off my debts with the min payment and as I'm self employed don't have the security of a wage coming in on a regular basis, it's very up and down. Right now more down than up. This creates insecurity and often feeling trapped.

I felt alone,often frightened and overwhelmed with the challenge. I paired everything to the bone. Used the support on the boards here to help, e.g. with food bills, housing, keeping warm etc. I put in place everything I could to support myself with financial help etc.

The bottom line was that I had to make a decision I was going to swim and not sink.

What is your support network like? Do you have one? If not may be it would help. I missed certain things from my life, like being able to go out socially, shop, go on holiday, just buy something new when I wanted, have my own car etc. All these things have gone.

So now I don't watch TV I don't have one, I spend more time on important things in my life. I don't have a car, so now I'm much fitter and I have formed more friendships with others willing to offer me lifts. I value what I do have much more highly and am much more appreciative of everything that comes into my life.

I guess it's saying in every circumstance "where's the silver lining?" Where's the value in the experience? I felt, that if I had to go through this, then I was going to get some value out of it for my life.

Sometimes I do feel negative, and I accept that is normal. The key is not to stay there long. I allow my feelings and then I refocus otherwise it can become a pity party and that is really disempowering, I then become the victim to my circumstances.

Who know's what is around the corner, through your attitude of gratitude you might open up other possibilities e.g. a higher paying position, meet others who mention an opportunity that could help your situation.

Take time to see what is there, what you have, and not what isn't there and as we do our world changes. A change of perspective can really help.

I wish you well and send you my encouragement.

dwibly

Finally got debt free this year (apart from Mortgage). But I know that if I go back to my old ways I will end up deep in debt again. i now allow little treats and am planning a cheap holiday this year. by continuing to restrict my weekly expenditure , i end up with a sum at the end of the month that i can put into my savings to cover car insurance, MOT, house contents insurance, and so on. anything left over above that goes towards paying off the mortgage. Hope to have that paid off by December 2014. Planning a big celebration then to celebrate finally being completely debt free after 40 years of being in debt off and on. :j