What does a full body massage entail?

miss_independent

My best friend (so close we are like sisters!) is in the final part of her training to become a holistic therapist and she is going to start her own business after the birth of her next child. Part of her course involves training in full body massage and she has asked me to be her guinea pig for her final assessments.

I really don't know what to say as I have never had a full body massage, as I don't like people touching me or seeing me naked pmsl! I come from a very private family where we weren't touchy feely or even physically affectionate and my parents were very strict about not being nude around the house. As a child around 8 years old and up, if my mother saw me in the bath she would criticise my body (say I was fat, had big thighs etc) and when she bought me new clothes she would make me try them on in front of her and scrutinise my body saying I needed to diet etc (I was about 5 stone at the time!). As strange as it sounds, I hate being naked around other women as I feel like they scrutinise your body and in their minds are criticising it and obviously this stems from my mothers attitude. When I'm in a relationship with a man it's fine it's more other women I struggle with, although I hate it at the doctors etc when I have to take my clothes off. I really struggled getting changed for PE and everything at school as I was very uncomfortable about my body and the other girls made fun of me
because I was an early developer and also because my mum didn't tell me about shaving my legs etc so I had hairy legs until I was 13 . Basically I have a great sense of shame attached to my body. I won't even wear a bikini on holiday and tend to wear sarongs, dresses and even baggy t-shirts over my swimwear despite the fact I've never been bigger than a size 10. I'm also not the huggiest of people as I didn't get a lot of cuddles growing up but even despite that I always hated it when people tried to tickle me, I would get really upset and even today, I hate being touched around my stomach and my feet - I don't know why.

My best friend is the exact opposite of me. She grew up in a big family with lots of sisters and just little things like they all played in the bath together which is something I never experienced - bath times for me were times of almost abuse but for her they were fun. They went on holidays where they sunbathed topless and were very much brought up that if you've got it flaunt it. She is really cuddly and, in a good way, she has taught me how to be more affectionate as I want kids one day and don't want to make my parents mistakes and she was a young mum and she gets her kids to come and give
me a cuddle and has taught me how to tuck them in at night etc. I know I must sound pathetic .

I have never discussed with her exactly how I was raised as she knows my parents too and I keep things very private. From day one, whenever we have went shopping she has always come into the changing room with me and stuff and she is just much more open than me - or I suppose much more normal than me. Anyway, the whole point of this is she wants me to be her case study and I don't know what I'd be agreeing to.

Please could you tell me what a full body massage entails? Another friend once asked me to be his case study for full body massage and I said I was really sorry but I wouldn't feel comfortable with it and he stopped talking to me cos he thought I must think it was something sexual and I didn't want to go into the real reasons. I really don't want to lose my best friend over this. I've always felt I could talk to her about anything but not this, it's too deep rooted. I really want to be brave and just do it to help her pass her course! Please could you let me know, a) do you have to be completely naked b) is it really your full body that they massage? I have real issues with anyone touching my stomach or feet.

And I know someone is going to suggest it but I am currently receiving help about my past.

podperson

I would suggest maybe speaking to your friend beforehand just so she is aware of your worries, if she's a good friend she will take that on board and try and make things as comfortable as possible for you - it might even be good experience for her as she is likely to get 'customers' in the future who may have similar concerns.

I get full body massages from a good friend as well and she is very professional throughout. I expect everyone is slightly different but basically she will leave the room while I get undressed (I tend to leave my knickers on as it makes me feel more comfortable) and then lie on the table with a big towel over me. She will then come back in and basically moves the towel off the area she wants to massage eg my leg and then tucks back round afterwards. She does do feet and will apply pressure to my stomach through the towel - but if you felt uncomfortable with this you could ask her not to. I was actually worried about the feet part as I don't really like people touching them but thought I would try it and was actually quite nice - I was worried it would be like tickling but it wasn't at all.

Hope that helps, like I said I imagine individuals may do it slightly differently but if you want to ask anything else feel free. Think you are being very brave trying to overcome this for your friend x

ellay864

I've had several full body massages and it's always been very dignified and discreet. I've kept knickers on and been mostly covered by a towel. The towel gets moved to expose an area that's being worked on while the rest remains covered. You certainly won't have to lie there naked feeling exposed.
I'm not sure exactly what your friend is needing...you say about this being for her final assessments. Do you mean she just wants to practice on you ahead of her assessment? Or you are actually being massaged while she's being assessed? In either case the client wishes should always be respected and if you really don't want your stomach being touched then just say so - on a purely professional level she must only do what you consent to.
You say that the two of you are really close. If that's the case then can you explain to her that you do have body issues and feel a little uncomfortable. You don't have to go into full details but just let her know you have problems with this, even though as a friend you want to help her. This will give you the chance to find out a bit more about what's involved, and to let her know where your boundaries are

zcrat41

Free massage - go for it!

I'm about the most un - huggiest person you can get. My friends joke that even if there's a death or serious illness I might just about possibly give them a hug but even then I'd have to be drunk! I hate being touched by friends and family and like a big personal space. However, this is due more to my natural personality as opposed to my childhood so I do maybe find it easier to overcome.

I go for full body massages fairly regularly and adore them. It is very professional and discreet - only 1 part of your body is ever exposed and even then it's only legs arms and backs. Do you think you'd maybe feel more comfortable with a therapist you didn't know first?

lessonlearned

I am a therapist and agree - the client's comfort is always paramount. You will not be naked and if there any areas where you prefer not to be touched just tell your friend.

I let my clients keep their panties and bras on. Once they are lying on their tummy I ask if I can unhook their bra for them and they just slip their arms out of it.

When they lie on their back so that I can massage their necks, front of arms and legs etc their torso is always covered.

A full body massage does not include the tummy, buttocks, breasts, inner thighs or anywhere else "personal". That's a different kind of "massage" altogether. :eek: No I don't do these.!!!!

Many people can't bear their feet to be touched.

Only one area will be exposed at any one time i.e. one leg or your upper back. This is not just for privacy or delicacy - it is to make sure that your muscles stay warm. You will be wrapped in warm towels. I sometimes add a lightweight throw on top of the towel.

My clients are so relaxed, warm and cosy they often fall asleep. :rotfl:

Relax and enjoy. I wish someone would give me a free massage,:D

belfastgirl23

I am also a bit funny about these things, would never be naked in front of someone who isn't OH, always use cubicle in changing rooms etc, but I went to get a sports massage a while back when I was having real trouble with my bum (I did something incredibly painful to a muscle whilst running). I had someone recommended who unfortunately (from my POV) was a man and if he hadn't been recommended by another woman who also feels a bit icky about this sort of thing I would never have gone. I actually wore (soft jersey) trousers because I felt more covered up and this wasn't an issue at all. And I didn't for a second feel uncomfortable because he was so professional. And this was obviously working on an area you don't especially want someone working on.

I've since had a few other treatments in terms of physiotherapy etc and have always found people very sensitive both about how they expressed things and how they handled me. I've honestly never felt uncomfortable at all.

You are actually probably a good case for her in a way because you aren't particularly comfortable and she will need to use her skills in terms of sensitivity and tact, so it's worth expressing to her that you do feel that bit of reserve about this, she might actually get better marks for it.

Good luck!

ali-t

lessonlearned wrote: »

A full body massage does not include the tummy, buttocks, breasts, inner thighs or anywhere else "personal". That's a different kind of "massage" altogether. :eek: No I don't do these.!!!!

I have had full body massages from lots of salons including the big names like clarins, decleor and elemis and they all vary. I have had a couple where they do massage breasts, the majority have done my stomach and buttocks - particularly if it is focusing on fluid retention, toning or cellulite.

They are all different but I can't see any problem with you telling the therapist what you would or wouldn't feel comfortable with BUT if your friend is being assessed she will probably have particular things she needs to achieve during the massage.

clays_mummy

miss independant, i just wanted to say that you took that whole post right out of my mouth...thats exactly how i am and how my childhood was....i HATE people touching me, never had a facial,massage etc, once every 6 months i get my hair done........which is strange as i am a hairdresser and beauty therapist and touch people everyday lol...i am also bipolar and have OCD so not much going for me really lol

miss_independent

Thank you every one for helping me understand what a full body massage entails. You have actually put my mind at ease a great deal! She was on the phone to me last night and actually said, if I don't like massage she completely understands cos it's not for everyone and there would be no hard feelings if I said no! To answer the questions about the assessment; she has to keep a casebook/portfolio type thing of I think 3 people who have had a course of 6 massages as part of her final assessment. It would just be the two of us, it wouldn't take place in front of her tutors. She is training in holistic therapies so it isn't beauty massage (so not for cellulite or anything). Thanks again so much for your help!

I am the same as other posters about gym changing rooms and I actually get really uncomfortable when other women are walking around totally naked in the gym changing room as it is so alien from how I was raised! In fact, my dad used to take me swimming as a child and change me in the mens changing room until I was about 8 (and I told him I could change myself now thank you lol!) so the womens changing room was a bit of a mystery to me lol! Also get my haircut only about once a year and prefer to wash own hair etc as hair washing was a nightmare as a kid as were haircuts - my mum would be really abusive at these times and I just prefer to do my own hair, cut it myself at home etc.

Clays_Mummy my mum has OCD, I've had it since I was about 3 (super cleanly, germ phobic, count numbers in my head alot) and am currently weaning myself off anti-depressants as had a nervous breakdown last year, lostvmy job and my flat and had to move back into my childhood home (yes back with my mum lol). But honestly, in many ways my life is getting better as I am learning to trust people (like my best friend) and challenging the beliefs I was raised with! It can get better, and I bet you do have a LOT going for you!

Sharlee

You would be a brilliant case study for a trainee massage therapist. It is perfectly acceptable for you to say that you don't want certain areas of your body touched and your friend will respect this. If you are honest with her about your difficulties she will be able to tailor each massage to your needs and hopefully more progress will be made on each occasion, that is you will become more comfortable with the process.

It may also help you to become more at ease with your body; I'm a great believer in the power of touch and that issues can resolved through body therapies or at least be part of the healing.

Relax and enjoy.

stimpy27

I hope you enjoy yourself and can I just say your friend sounds lovely, she clearly thinks a lot of you too x