Interview next week

Emmamumof2

Ive been made BR this morning. The lady at the Court was lovely and I didn't even see the judge. But the OR's dont work in the Court I was made BR in so they then have to send the paperwork to them in the next town along. She said OR would call with few initial queries today and then after form arrived.

OR called this afternoon asked about assets and house/car etc - she was really really abrupt. I know thats her job just wondered about others experiences.

I am suffering badly with mental health problems, bipolar with psychosis being the primary problem and in my form I wrote 4 pages about how Id got in this state, gave reasons why I believed car should be exempt (medical apps, children, living rurally - buses impossible to try to do some work/get to and from school given times of buses), other bits and bobs and asked for interview to be over phone due to anxiety attacks etc etc - (by the by I couldn't breathe at the Court this morning and tht was just seeing a clerk there) but as she hasn't even seem form yet she just said Id need to be seen and interviewed there end of next week -

Are there any grounds medically where she might change her mind? She was very stern and when she asked about disabilities I said no physical disabilities that mean I cant walk etc but I have mental health problems. Is there any chance she will be kinder next week or will she be the kind of OR who doesn't care about circumstances/mitigation and be out for blood.

Im really really frightened, more so than I was before I even did the form and this morning was terrifying enough to last me a lifetime. Given that I am already feeling on the edge and suicidal this was perhaps the wrong time to be trying to tackle this.

Can anyone offer any words to get through this and deal with her next week to try and manage for the next 10 days without being completely in bits for the entire day - for the sake of my children...

debtinfo

Hi Emma, the Examiner does not have to be friendly as such but they should not be impolite and they should take account of each persons individual circumstances, having said that who knows what sort of bad day she was having. At the moment all she will have is the the actual order itsself not any of the documents you have sent in, i would wait a couple of days (until your documents get there) and try again to speak to her, if you still feel the same then ask to speak to her Assistant Official Receiver (her boss) and ask to have someone else assigned to your case, i think when they see the detail you have gone to in your forms that they realise that you are not just someone tryingn it on but someone with genuine problems that need a bit of care

Emmamumof2

Thank you very much for understanding. I am absolutely crushed. I know she doesn't have to be nice and to be fair she wasn't impolite I just feel like I have poured everything I have, which is not much at the moment, into the form which has 5 or 6 pages in the notes at the back about everything and she hasn't seen and Ive just got this call. She has even asked for me take the few bits and bobs of assets I have to an agent tomorrow who will get values for them. She seemed to think there was some mad rush to get that done - she went to speak to her Boss about getting that dealt with. Although the agent who called me was very down to earth and seemed quite kind. I am seeing my Psychiatrist tomorrow so perhaps he may be able to offer some kind of insight as to whether it would be useful for her to speak to him. I have read of so many people having OR's who only ask a couple of questions on the phone and that's it all done, but she was on the phone for 20 minutes with me today and that wasn't even the interview.
Sorry to seem like Im moaning, I know this is all my own fault and Im not making excuses honestly Im not, I just had hoped it wouldn't be as painful when I already have all this bipolar stuff going on and not to mention that I suffered a miscarriage only 3 weeks ago too - its not easy time, and I know it shouldn't be easy because this is of my own doing but I feel like Im being punished more than is bearable.

debtinfo

Hi Emma, i would definitly go see the pschologist and either ask him to call the OR (which he may not do) or at least write a letter on your behalf, explaining that you need a little time to take everything in and it would help if they went a bit slower and explained things a bit more, to be honest the examiner is probably just really pushed for time (the government has reduced the staff by half in the last 2 years) and probably just needs it pointing out that not everycase has to be done in a hurry

Emmamumof2

Thank you again, I am okay for them to resolve things as soon as possible I just want a fair crack of the whip so to speak. I will talk to him tomorrow and see what if anything he suggests, aside from commiting me that is.....

I knew this would be bad I just didn't expect it to be quite like this and feel like this about a woman Ive never met being abrupt with me on a phonecall, I know I dont know if she has also had a bad day - I suppose I will just have to wait for her to get my forms and hope she is a little softer.

Thanks again.

jayk

Hello

If it is an consolation when I received 1st initial call from OR (before they had received forms etc) the OR was brisk, polite and very efficient which can sometimes come across as sharp, especially when you are anxious, and not feeling well. The OR fired many questions at me and then confirmed would have my interview today. This morning OR phones and was polite and very calm which in turn helped me to answer questions. I got through the interview. Later today OR phoned back with a further question and asked if I was feeling calmer and thanked me for co-operation. I am sure it will go better for you wen te actual interview takes place and all information is to hand. Take care.

Maizy

Hi Emma

I don't really know what to suggest as I don't suffer with the symptoms you have described although I do have a tendency to get myself worked up with stressful situations.

I was the same as you, received a call from the OR on the day of BR then over a week later she called for the interview which took just short of an hour. I have to say I found her slightly standoffish, direct and almost like she was trying to trip me up. That was just my opinion which was probably exaggerated in my own head, my OH found her to be perfectly ok.

Looking back and seeing things clearly, she was just doing her job, providing you have the details of why and how you got where you got, you will be able to answer any questions clearly and in detail. I was able to answer all the questions, after all the whole subject is surrounding the reasons why you went BR, normally debt.

At the end of the call, she thanked me and went on her merry way and I haven't heard a stitch since. Its human nature to get worked up but really its just a process that has to be done so they can report to the creditors and have the full facts.

How strong would you feel to be able to face the interview and complete the task fully, how satisfying would that be and a huge weight gone from your shoulders. I wish you well, everyone here knows how you feel and each step you take is a step nearer to freedom.

I hate to be so direct Emma but just try and remember that any anxieties we have with this are more likely to be in our own heads and providing we have nothing to hide, its all just a matter of procedure. I really cannot stress how much its all worth it on the other side and you will soon be there. Do everything in your power to keep calm and pat yourself on the back for going to court, going through BR and the phone call today, you did it well done.:j

Emmamumof2

Thanks to you both for your comments last night which i have seen this morning. I am just going to have to do what I can in between speaking with the OR perhaps at the end of this week once she has my forms = Ill probably leave it until Friday to make sure. It may be that there wa s areason she decided to ask for a face to face that is explained in the forms and it might not be the case, I hope so. I can only really reinforce what is on the forms next Friday. Ill report back on hoe I get on taking my bits and bobs to the auction chap today. Another day as they say.

Florence22

Hi Emma, I'm so sorry, I read your post on the Feb BR Club first and now I've read this thread I understand why you feel traumatised.

This is such a stressful thing to go through, being bipolar and going through such a recent miscarriage will have made things even more so.
I'm so glad you're talking to your Psychiatrist today, perhaps, as Debtinfo has suggested, he could write a note or call the OR.
A mental health condition is a disability and I'm sure once the OR has your forms and your information then she will adjust the Interview accordingly.

Once the extra tasks you have to do are done, (the car and the jewellery), then you should try to distract yourself as much as possible until your interview if you can. Try to make sure you are with someone at all times and do nice things with your kids like a walk through the park or cooking together.

Like the others have said, the OR was probably having a bad day - it won't be anything personal, until the point she receives your forms you are just another BR number....the more personal touch will come once she knows more about you

You must look after yourself Emma and make sure you sleep and eat properly. Do you have a Community Psychiatric Nurse you could talk things over with?

We're all with you here Hun, keep posting to let us know how you're getting on.

Best wishes,
Flo xx

Emmamumof2

Thanks Flo
Its only been 6 weeks since daignosis and Psychiatrist today wasnt as good as I expected so I have indeed called the CPN and she was annoyed I hadnt seen the usual chap so she's pursuing tomorrow for me to try and get the immediate medication stuff sorted out.

I took the paintings and jewellery and he looked around car (husband went with me) - the chap at the auctioneers I have to say was really nice. Just waiting now to hear from OR who should have forms tomorrow or Thursday - my CPN may even come with me next Friday if she is allowed - is she?! Ill have to ask OR -

xx

debtinfo

Yes they are allow to come with you, and they are allowed to sit in the interview, but they cant answer for you.