Struggling - anyone else have this issue when starting up?

EmmaHerts

Hi Blushingrose,

I am unable to post the link but you should take a look at PDSA, if they aren't able to help you the site also links to other charities that might be able to help with treatment for the cat.

My partner and I have been finding treats for ourselves thanks to this site. Take a look at the Freebie section. Also, we have started buying presents in the 99p shop as they seem to have things I would buy people as gifts that do not look like they cost 99p. They often have a great selection of books too. We've also be looking at sites like redhotdeals .. we just got a buggy from freecycle.

I've been surprised at the things we can get for free to be honest.

determined_new_ms

Hi BR just wanted to offer you my support and hope things look a bit brighter at the moment. When we were slaying the debt we acted as a tag team, and only one of us could be *down* about the situation at once so the other one could boulster the spirits. I'll never forget the freezing November in 2009 when I came home and oh was sobbing on our bed - as far back as we could remember we had been going without and it looked like an eternity going forward - I bolstered his spirits, made him a cup of tea, a slice of cake, ran him a bath and joked with him until he snapped out of it. Later that week he found me on the bed. Its hard but you learn to get resourceful and still get things that will make you both happy. Sign up with netflicks via Topcashback and get £12.12 cashback for a month's free trial, get into watching a box set and when the cashback clears you can have a treat with the £12!

Re presents I wouldn't worry about it. Its my oh's birthday on Wednesday and 'm not getting him anything but we have signed up with various pubs who have snet him vouchers for a free drink (and some with +1) we'll probably go and drink those! When we were debt slaying we learnt to appreciate things that costed nothing, time together, laughing, going for walks, learning to forage, spending time together, sharing a bubble bath (oh the luxury!) and now those are the things we love most. Good luck x

camuk81

Rose, don't worry about the presents aspect. I hit my 30th in December and my OH didn't get anything he feels really guilty about it. As for Valentine's its the same this year, so I've cheated and bought some flowers for me as thats one thing I used to buy every week but now I'm chewed off at the £15 on a crappy bunch of flowers!
I would make a promise of what you will get in the future but about this year, say it from the heart.

How about a poem from the internet on your own card that you have made that way you can show how much you care about each other with a sheet of paper and thought from your head and heart.

wannabee_in_credit

It's a total and complete change of lifestyle for you BR. I promise it gets easier, but you can't expect that you can change a lifetime of spending habits in just a couple of months. I think I cried constantly for the first 2 or 3 months of my dmp - after being told that I would feel nothing but immense relief.
I bought OH's Valentines stuff in the sale after Christmas. Booze and chocolates that I paid less than a fiver for in total - plus a free card from Martin's email a couple of weeks ago. It's always nice to know that you're appreciated, but you don't need to spend money or have gifts to know that this is the case. Last year on Valentines my OH had bought me a new tea cup, and had left the kettle full with a teabag in the cup (he goes to work 3 hours before I get up in the morning), and I was really overwhelmed that he'd thought to do something for me.
It does get easier, and I hear what you have said about you and Mr BR just wanting to pay as much as possible as soon as possible, but you're in it for the long haul so it has to be realistic. You need to get to a budget that you really can live in comfortablty (not extravagantly, just comfortably) and if that means redoing your budget and paying less to the debts then that's what it has to be. I manage to squirrel a little bit away every month that has helped me to cover emergencies and things that crop up by saving extras from my allowances. Eg. My grocery budget is £75 pw but it's usually less than £50, so I put the rest away for emergencies.
I have to confess, there are still tough days a couple of years in. I have no idea why but I've woken up this morning feeling dreadful and I just want to sit and cry. But I know that I just have to go with it, not go out spending and tomorrow will almost certainly be a better day.

BlushingRose

Thanks folks xx

Well, today I've left the car at the garage to, hopefully, get fixed once and for all. As I left, they said they;d ring to let me know how much it'll be. I said that they;d already given me a max figure and he said 'ah yes, that's if it's what I think it is' so now I'm terrified that it's going to cost more than they thought. If that's the case then we're stuffed really as this is all the money we have with CCCS having not taken a bean this month and we're just doing token payments.
I actually feel ill and am going to have a lie down.

DVardysShadow

wannabee_in_credit wrote: »

... Last year on Valentines my OH had bought me a new tea cup, and had left the kettle full with a teabag in the cup (he goes to work 3 hours before I get up in the morning), and I was really overwhelmed that he'd thought to do something for me.

Puts money in its place. Some things have value money cannot buy.

BlushingRose

wannabee_in_credit wrote: »

I bought OH's Valentines stuff in the sale after Christmas. Booze and chocolates that I paid less than a fiver for in total - plus a free card from Martin's email a couple of weeks ago. It's always nice to know that you're appreciated, but you don't need to spend money or have gifts to know that this is the case. Last year on Valentines my OH had bought me a new tea cup, and had left the kettle full with a teabag in the cup (he goes to work 3 hours before I get up in the morning), and I was really overwhelmed that he'd thought to do something for me.

Oh yes. I bought Mr BR's valentine's present from Martin's email. I bought him that photobook - cost me £2.99 for postage only, instead of £13.99 for the book +£3.99 postage.
We're trying hard to change our views on spending/presents and such but it's difficult when the car could be about to cost more than we've physically got.

backinbusiness

Blushing Rose - take heart.

It's hard to see the wood for the trees right now. And life does have a habit of bringing you down and then giving you another wee kick whilst you are down. I know that feeling of dread when you put the car into the garage - fingers crossed for you that it isn't too expensive. I don't know what kind of relationship you have with your garage, but mine sends invoices out, and in the past I have paid over 2 months - ie you don't have to pay cash on collection.

You are doing the right thing here and it will get better.

Try and focus on the positive, not easy I know.

Take care (will check in later to see how the repairs went).

BiB

BlushingRose

Thanks.
We do have a good relationship with the garage and they do know how poor we are (cos I keep telling them) so, hopefully if it's more than we're expecting, they might agree to allow us to pay in bits for anything over.
They said they'd ring today and let me know, but nothing yet. I'm trying to resist the urge to ring them and ask

BlushingRose

Right, it got to 4.20pm and I couldn't stand any longer, had to ring the garage to find out what was going on, The guy I spoke seemed surprised to hear that no-one had rung me earlier...Anyway, apparently the issue they thought it was IS wrong (and will hopefully cure the issue we've got). They've ordered the part and tell em that it should be ready to pick up on Wednesday.