In desperate need of advice

PinotGrigio41

I woud doubt that's a good idea, but I am no expert. Hopefully someone else can advise on this?

Have you sought legal advice re the house? Maybe try a solicitor whereby the first half hour s free? They may be able to give you some additional insight x

purplenicnak

All I can offer is a massive (virtual) hug!

I am sure I have read somewhere on these boards about him being liable to pay if his name is on the mortgage too. But I may be wrong, give CCCS a call as soon as you get up. They seem to have to kindest, warmest spoken advisors. I had to ring them because of the debt I found myself in and hearing a none judging condescending voice was just was I needed.

Try getting a nice relaxing bath before bed, it may not help you sleep totally but may calm you more than the caffeine in a brew (you can have gallons of that in the morning).

xxx

mrse_3

been to the solicitor and they advised that I needed a solicitor because he is not willing to play fair and advised that the cost will be in the region of £2500-£5000
So solicitor out of the question as no money....unfortunately

Rochdale_Guy

Wow mrse, reading that really got me emotional.

I'm so sorry to hear about all your troubles

All I can offer you is a big warm welcome to this forum, you will get some great advice and support from the wonderful people on here.

We are all thinking of you.

Be strong.

HELP WILL COME....

monstermuncher

mrse wrote: »

Katy I know your right, but right now all I see is blackness....

i just keep hitting brick walls

It's an awful, awful situation and I really feel for you.

I can tell you what would be worse though....if you were still with him. You've got away from the worst thing in your life, and now you can concentrate on building the rest up.

Where abouts are you? Do you have a spare room? You might be able to take in a lodger which would help. Or is there anyone else you can stay with and then leave him to deal with the house? It'll affect his credit rating too if he doesn't pay up, and then he won't be able to just waltz off and start a brand new life.

My situation isn't as bad as yours, but I also have an unco-operative ex husband who's left me in a rotten situation. I'm currently living in a one bedroom flat in a not-so-nice part of town, fighting to gain financial stability, a destroyed credit rating and trust issues. I'd choose all that over still being in the relationship any day.

The money stuff can be sorted, even if you do end up handing the keys back and starting again. More lost years spent with a man like that would be infinitely worse.

One thing I promise you, this time next year you will feel so much happier, and so much stronger and you will look back at this period in your life and be grateful for what it will teach you.

You can do this, and you're not doing it alone :beer:

EssexHebridean

OK - I appreciate that right now it is a tall order but sort yourself out £100 or thereabouts and ring round local solicitors to find one who will do you a "Fixed Fee" interview. At least then you will know where you stand and can get some advice on what you can do next.

I would also suggest you sort out and post up on here an SOA as some of the folk on here may be able to see ways of cutting back on bills that haven't occurred to you.

Good luck - and I know it doesn't feel like it right now but you are better off without him.

PinotGrigio41

Just dropping by to see how you are this morning mrse.

If you can bear to post your SOA, it may help as EssexH has suggested.
Pinot x

DS4215

Ok. Practical things:

1). If you haven't already, apply for C. Tax single person discount
2). Check if you are entitled to any benefits
3). Is it a joint mortgage or just in one name? - joint mortgage means that he is equally liable for the payments and the mortgage company can also chase him for it.
4). Look into getting a lodger
5). Can you rent the house out (to cover the mortgage) and rent somewhere cheaper yourself?
6). Post a SOA so people can try to help you get things sorted.

janey183

didnt want to read and run.

Nothing I can add that people havent already, your story made me very emotional and Im sending you a big hug over the airwaves.

Stay strong, nothing is given to us that we cant handle, may not seem like it at the time but its true.
Keep your head high, be kind to yourself and surround yourself with love and light.
xxx

sickasachip13

Hi,
What a horrible situation to find yourself in - through absolutely no fault of your own.

I know it seems black and desperate right now, but you do have ways forward. You must dig deep and find the strength to start getting some more advice and take on this situation - don't let this creep do this to you.... time to fight back.

Ring CCCS as a matter of urgency, please. They are fabulous people and will set out your options calmly and clearly. They are a charity with lots of specialist expertise on debts, all sorts and sizes of debts. Please make contact with them.

Ring Women's Aid, find out if they have a local office to you, or can recommend another women's support service in your area. You have been through a hellish experience, you have been subjected to domestic violence and you are terribly shocked - you need the support and help of people who know about all this sort of thing.

Time to start getting things back on track - ring CCCS and ring Women's Aid asap.

Talk to us on here, we're a friendly bunch and want to help.

SAAC