Ex can't/won't take me off the mortgage

viviana

Hi there,
I'd be really grateful for some help! Six years ago, I bought a house in London with my then-partner, with a joint mortgage. Sadly, just over a year later the relationship broke down and I decided to leave. As it was my decision to go and we still cared for each other, I didn't immediately insist on him taking me off the mortgage - he was cut up about the whole situation and I didn't want to add to his stress. Plus I knew that I'd only be able to rent for a while anyway, so wasn't bothered about being taken off the mortgage right then and there. He gave me back the £14k I'd put towards the deposit, so no problem there.
A while after this, my ex found a new partner:). At this stage he tried to find out about taking my name off the mortgage, but by this point his earnings had dropped (the new partner has no income) so he wasn't able to qualify for for a sole mortgage, even though he was making the monthly repayments with no trouble. I let things be for a bit as I didn't want him to have to sell his home and couldn't honestly see any other options for him.
It was only really last year, four years after I left, that I started talking to him more seriously about finding some way to get me off the mortgage.I insisted that he would have to find a way to make it happen. By this point I was engaged to someone else and the situation was beginning to seem messy.
BUT, one year on from THAT conversation, I'm married and pregnant and my name is STILL on that darn mortgage! My husband and I are forced to rent because I don't earn enough to qualify for another mortgage, and my husband doesn't earn enough to have a mortgage in his name only. So basically we are stuck until my ex sorts things out. And although I still trust him and know he's able to cover the mortgage (repayments are pretty low), it's still a huge weight on my mind.
I discussed it with my ex again last month and he got quite angry and defensive, saying he wouldn't sell his home and has been trying all other avenues to find a way to remove my name. I know I was the one who left him but I think I've been very reasonable and kind over the years. Apart from anything else, he is not in a good position because the way things stand at the moment, should anything happen to him, the house will pass to me, not his partner (they're not married) or his sons - I think that's right? So I'm not sure why he isn't jumping on this a bit more! Does anyone have advice? What can I do? My ex's income is still too low to qualify for a sole mortgage but I don't know whether after 5 years of paying a mortgage on his own, the lender might make some agreement with him. Should also add that the house has risen in value since we bought it so no issue with neg equity. Help! And sorry for long post

Thrugelmir

Consult a solicitor and force a sale of the property if necessary. The cost of court action is not cheap.

However there's a high probability of recovering your costs if the matter did end up in court. As there's no defence to the action. The Judge would consider the matter a waste of the courts time and rule accordingly.

I doubt your ex has any plans on moving out.

Should you purchase again in the future. Its worth having an agreement drawn up that specifies what will happen should your relationship end. Hopefully not. But better to be prepared.

viviana

Thanks so much. He has no intention of moving out but I think he's hoping he and his new partner are going to start earning more at some point soon, so they will be able to qualify for the mortgage. I'm sure he realises it is not really great news for him that my name's still on it! But who knows if/when their income will rise, and until then me, my husband and our baby (when she's born!) will be lurching from one rental to the next. I was hoping of course not to have to take the courts route - I'm pretty sure they'd find in my favour, but it is a shame if it has to go that way.

whitewing

Move back in until he sorts it.

Thrugelmir

Maybe a letter from a solicitor may engage his attention. Though perhaps speak to him first, and say you wish to avoid unnecessary aggravation. However he has no right to put your life on hold. Say it calmly and don't get involved in an exchange of words.

antrobus

viviana wrote: »

.... He gave me back the £14k I'd put towards the deposit, so no problem there...

So you no longer have a beneficial interest in the property.

viviana wrote: »

... Apart from anything else, he is not in a good position because the way things stand at the moment, should anything happen to him, the house will pass to me, not his partner (they're not married) or his sons - I think that's right?

Not necessarily.

Thrugelmir wrote: »

Consult a solicitor and force a sale of the property if necessary.

Dunno about that. OP has already been paid £14k for their share of the equity. Would a court order a sale purely to extinguish the joint and several liability of one party to a mortgage?

Thrugelmir

antrobus wrote: »

Dunno about that. OP has already been paid £14k for their share of the equity. Would a court order a sale purely to extinguish the joint and several liability of one party to a mortgage?

I assumed that the arrangement was informal. Without documentation its hearsay.

Not a question of extinguishing the liability of one party. Providing there's sufficient equity to discharge the mortgage. Then the OP could declare no interest in the property. This boils the question purely down to affordability for the other party, from the courts perspective. Which is the root of the issue.

viviana

Thanks all. Yes, return of my share of the deposit was informal. I won't make any financial claims at all, I just want my name off the mortgage! To be honest, I wouldn't make any claim even if something happened to my ex; I'd be fair about it and make sure his partner and sons got the house, but that's not the point I suppose! From what I've read, I was under the impression courts probably could force a sale purely to release one partner from the obligation. But I’m hoping it won’t come to that. Yes, it is unfair that our lives are on hold but he doesn’t seem to be viewing it from that p.o.v., unfortunately. He’s quite a lot older and all his money is tied up in that house, so I think he’s feeling very protective of it. I feel for him but at the same time I need to get things moving - so a solicitor's letter may be a good idea.

Thrugelmir

View it as a business transaction. The fact that your old partner is unable to afford the mortgage is not your concern. As its unlikely they'll be homeless. Just need to downsize to something affordable.

Trying_to_be_good

How much additional equity does he need to be able to meet the lending criteria? If you gave (or lent) him that money, you could effectively buy yourself out of the mortgage, instead of giving that money to the courts/lawyers?

viviana

250k, apparently - his income must have dropped A LOT if that's what he needs to bring the mortgage down to what he can afford!
So I can't do that. I actually just spoke to him again and am feeling very depressed - he and his new partner are going to sell but not for at least a couple of years. His business is earning very little, though as they pay less in their monthly repayments on a 3-bed house than we pay in monthly rent on a one-bed flat, they can afford the repayments! I told him we can't wait for 2/3 years but he's adamant they won't do anything sooner as he's frightened of being left in dire financial straits if they move too soon.
So it seems my options are to get legal, to wait and keep renting, or to hope some money turns up for me and my husband that means we can get a mortgage anyway, even with my name on another one (unlikely at the moment, I think).
Really appreciate all your help, everyone. Thank you.