Ex can't/won't take me off the mortgage

Hello123_2

This may sound harsh, but he is not your problem now - you, your husband and expectant child are your main priority! You need to get off that mortgage and move on from this situation which has clearly been dragging on too long.

You need to call your solicitor, ask for proper legal advice not lay peoples opinions on this website.(not saying people on here don't give advice, it's just we don't know all the details - eg how is the property held? Joint? Or as Tenants in Common?)

Also call the mortgage lender, explain the situation.

Remember, if he has missed mortgage payments etc, this will affect your credit.

It sounds like he isn't doing too well financially so if you are still financially associated with him (likely) again this can damage your ability to get credit in the future, so you need dis-associate yourself asap!

Explain to your ex it's not personal - it's a fact of life that people separate so things like this happen.

Good luck!

Hello123_2

viviana wrote: »

I told him we can't wait for 2/3 years but he's adamant they won't do anything sooner as he's frightened of being left in dire financial straits if they move too soon.
So it seems my options are to get legal, to wait and keep renting, or to hope some money turns up for me and my husband that means we can get a mortgage anyway, even with my name on another one (unlikely at the moment, I think).

So he calls the shots?

viviana

Well, I was trying to be kind because he's quite a bit older than me and I don't want to see him struggle. Of course, if I can be flexible, I want to be - it will be in everyone's best interests if we can all compromise without involving solicitors. But at the moment he's not compromising, and you're right, he's not my priority now. The mortgage lender knows the situation already and have done since I left, but I think they're not interested as long as the mortgage is being paid (it is). It's a joint mortgage. Where can I get a solicitor? Is it as well to just find any local one who specialises in this situation? I don't have one as we weren't married so didn't go through a divorce or anything.
I check my credit report every month. We are still financially associated because of the mortgage, yes. Argh! Thanks!

Hello123_2

viviana wrote: »

Well, I was trying to be kind because he's quite a bit older than me and I don't want to see him struggle. Of course, if I can be flexible, I want to be - it will be in everyone's best interests if we can all compromise without involving solicitors. But at the moment he's not compromising, and you're right, he's not my priority now. The mortgage lender knows the situation already and have done since I left, but I think they're not interested as long as the mortgage is being paid (it is). It's a joint mortgage. Where can I get a solicitor? Is it as well to just find any local one who specialises in this situation? I don't have one as we weren't married so didn't go through a divorce or anything.
I check my credit report every month. We are still financially associated because of the mortgage, yes. Argh! Thanks!

How about the solicitor you used when you bought the house? Or get a recommendation from family/friends? Don't mention to your ex you are seeing a solicitor - find out your options first. I can see you are trying to be kind, but you really need to put yourself & family first as it seems this has been going on ages - why should you keep renting when you could be putting money towards your own house? It's clearly stressing you out too so now it's time to get it sorted!

It's important to cut all ties with your ex (financially) as his circumstances don't sound too good. (sounds harsh but got to be realistic).

Your solicitor will give you options as to what you can do. Once you've got these options, go from there. Please don't assume you solicitor will just apply for a forced sale of property as someone else suggested! Good luck

betmunch

Can you just confirm you have exhaughsted all options to get your own mortgage with your new partner, while still on the old mortgage.

You seem sure you cant get another mortgage, but you dont say how you have investigated this. Have you spoken to a qualified professional about this?

I am grasping at straws a little here, but have seen so many wrong assumptions on these boards thought its best to check first.

Hello123_2

betmunch wrote: »

Can you just confirm you have exhaughsted all options to get your own mortgage with your new partner, while still on the old mortgage.

You seem sure you cant get another mortgage, but you dont say how you have investigated this. Have you spoken to a qualified professional about this?

I am grasping at straws a little here, but have seen so many wrong assumptions on these boards thought its best to check first.

I assume she would declare the mortgage debt to lenders and therefore they would not lend a 2nd mortgage on affordability factors.

Even if a lender was willing to lend, she still needs to cut financial ties with her ex and get removed from the mortgage and deeds.

betmunch

Hello123 wrote: »

I assume she would declare the mortgage debt to lenders and therefore they would not lend a 2nd mortgage on affordability factors.

And that perfectly demonstrates my point.

Having an old mortgage with an ex does not IMMEDIATELY mean you will not get another one with a new parter.

Yes there will be a negative effect on the new application, but what we dont know is how negative, will it scupper the application, and if the OP has pushed the point.

Its quite posible she has a best friend who is an Independent Mortgage Broker that has looked at the situation and confirmed she will not get a new mortgage. End of my comments here!!!

However, as proven by your assumption, it is also quite posible that she just doesnt think she will get a mortgage, or she took advice from her bank who may not be very accommodating to people with existing mortgages.

We had a very similar case just last week and managed to get a client Agreed in Principal, she is now looking for a house. She wasnt expecting to be able to get a new mortgage either.

So, OP, please can you clarify the extent to which you have researched getting a new mortgage for you and your new partner.

viviana

@Hello123 - I am definitely going to take your advice and see a solicitor. I can't even remember who took care of all that when we bought the house but I'm sure I can find someone. And yes, I need to be off that mortgage regardless - it is a huge source of stress.
@Betmunch - It's a good point. My husband and I earn 55k between us - 42k of that is my earnings. We have savings of 50k to put towards a deposit. I spoke (fairly informally, admittedly) to a mortgage adviser who said it's unlikely I'd be able to get another mortgage as a lender probably wouldn't consider that my income would cover two mortgages (the joint mortgage I have with my ex is for £350k). It's worth mentioning my husband and I are in London, so would struggle to buy anything here, so we wanted to buy somewhere right outside of the capital. oh and we are both self-employed, to put lenders off even more, although we do have several years of accounts each to show, and good credit. I suppose it may be worth getting another opinion from a different advisor but I fear we will be disappointed!

betmunch

viviana wrote: »

@Betmunch - It's a good point. My husband and I earn 55k between us - 42k of that is my earnings. We have savings of 50k to put towards a deposit. I spoke (fairly informally, admittedly) to a mortgage adviser who said it's unlikely I'd be able to get another mortgage as a lender probably wouldn't consider that my income would cover two mortgages (the joint mortgage I have with my ex is for £350k). It's worth mentioning my husband and I are in London, so would struggle to buy anything anyway, but we wanted to buy somewhere outside of the capital. I suppose it may be worth getting another opinion from a different advisor but I fear we will be disappointed!

Yes, it is likely that you will be disappointed - sorry to sound like a T**t - but it is not definate.

Whats the monthly payment on the old mortgage? and what are you looking to borrow?

BigAunty

See the Shelter website for their section on relationship breakdowns. They may have a bit of info on how you can force the sale of the property through the courts which is pretty much your only option if your ex can't or won't sell the property. Perhaps someone on the housing forum knows a bit more about the process and costs.