I don't know where to start

monstermuncher

I've been thinking about this obsessively since I heard. I've had problems with depression and spent all of last night right back where I was in my worst times, with thoughts and desires that really scared me. I think if my best friend wasn't going through a bereavement right now I'd have done something silly.

I've been wondering this morning if it's worth getting the police involved? I'm scared that these people are dodgy, especially as they lied, got my name wrong and wouldn't give their number. I don't believe I owe anything, and certainly not a loan, and definitely not in connection with my father in law.

I also think if the police are aware, it proves I haven't taken out credit fraudulently (I'd hardly contact them voluntarily if I had) and covers me a bit in case these people get my address, or ex f-i-l comes hammering on my door late at night again.

I've started making sure the door is locked at all times, and panicking at every noise. I really can't live like this.

kimminess

Hi monstermuncher,

I think writing your f-i-l a letter is a brilliant idea. It alleviates the issue of having to actually speak to him, especially if he gets as angry as he has seemed from what you've said!! If he chooses not to act on your letter then just leave him to be harrassed, at least you have made the effort.

Please don't do anything stupid, keeping the door locked at all times is a good idea and don't answer the door unless you know who it is (Maybe you have a window you can peer out of without being seen?)

Sending hugs,

Kimberley x x

kimminess

Also, if you know you haven't got any outstanding debt and these people do get your address or send you letters, send them a 'Prove it' letter. (Template is somewhere around this forum, I will try and find it in a second).

Its up to them to prove you owe the money, not for you to prove to them that you don't!

Pinkpenguin

Hey MonsterMuncher,

I've read through your thread and I can completely understand how scared and helpless you must feel now. The thing is, when youre feeling like that its hard to think clearly about things - so let me be the calm and collected 'you' for a moment.

Firstly, you do not know the reasoning behind these phone calls to your ex-FIL (lets abbreviate to EF for ease) is getting. Have you thought that it may perhaps be something to do with your ex rather than yourself? They use connecting family members to get through to who they need to speak to, no doubt your EF would have told the caller that his son is in Australia so they may be trying you in the hope you still have a conection with him. Until you know WHY you are getting the calls you cannot worry about it - whats the point? It wont help.

Check Noddle and CheckMyFile when you are able to but there is no need to panic. Write a letter to your EF explaining the position, that will stop him from doing any of the ridiculous things that you say he may do should he get another phone call.

Finally, you HAVE to start taking care of yourself. I too have suffered from depression, to the point where I couldnt leave the house for 6 months - I KNOW how crippling it is but what doesnt kill us makes us stronger and youve got through it before, you will get through it again! I think youve taken your EF's comments to heart - I would have too - but you have not ruined anyone's life, we all make our own decisions in life, we cant blame them on others when they dont go our way.

Positive Steps -
1. Make a cup of tea
2. Write a letter to your EF explaining the situation
3. Try Checkmyfile (it has a 30 day free trial which you can cancel after youve seen your credit report)

We are all in the same (or similar) boat here lovely, we will get through this together.

PP xxx