Urgent help in the next few days RE references! Please Help

littlelol2012

Hi all,
I'm desperate for some useful help!
2 years ago, I had a job in a nursery; to cover maternity for 9 months. this was end to due in the October, and i kept asking my manager if she was going to keep me or not, for 2 months! then in the December she called me into her room and gave me a months notice and told me it was because the woman was back off her maternity leave and also my 'sick days'. i asked her for a copy of my sick records, and it states 19 days in that year (one of which my son was sick for a week). a few months later i got a better job at a different nursery, as deputy manager, and when my manager then got the reference from her back saying that my old manager said i had 33 days off sick in one year i was very angry and upset and showed her the letter I had that my old boss had given me stating the 19 days.
I don't think they believed me. I left shortly after this job for something completely different.
However, i have been offered a very new fantastic job and a good salary, but i have a problem. I put my first job down as a reference and i am scared she will say the same thing (i know she is on maternity at the minute). I really want this job and worked very hard to get it. at the time my mother said that they couldn't do that and I should sue her but i was so angry i just wanted to forget it. is there anything i can do within the next day or two, like write a letter to the employer who gave me the wrong/bad/misleading reference to warn if it happens again i can do something? (maybe scare them into not doing it again).... (this boss turned against me suddenly for no reason and I don't know why)
any help is greatly appreciated

t0rt0ise

It was probably just an error but 19 days off sick in less than a year is a lot too so I'd worry about that if I were you.

t0rt0ise

mrsmsport wrote: »

Previous employers cannot give a bad reference but can refuse to give one.

This is not correct. Employers can give a bad reference as long as it's a true reference.

Not saying that the OP deserves a bad reference but wanted to correct this erroneous statement.

KiKi

mrsmsport wrote: »

Just write to the original employer explaining the situation. Previous employers cannot give a bad reference but can refuse to give one.

ARGH!!!!

Yes, they can. They can say what they like as long as it's truthful and not deliberately misleading. If she was a poor performer and always late they can say that. They can also refuse, which is tantamount to saying she's not a great employee.

When you explain that to them, suggest that the 33 days might be seen as maliscious?

Why? It's either a mistake (in which case politely request for them to address that), or it's true, in which case it's not malicious at all; it's factual.

The trouble is that the days off sick is a straight question, perhaps the week could be discounted as it was your child that was ill and not you, I think that would seem fair.

If it was taken as sick leave, then they would quote it as such if they're asked the question. Are you advocating that the employer lies? If they ask about days off, they have to tell the truth or say nothing, otherwise what's 'fair' to someone isn't necessarily 'fair' to someone else.

KiKi

kingfisherblue

It is true that employers can give bad references, as long as the details given are accurate. Not being allowed to give a bad reference is a myth.

Also, the OP states that they took a week off sick to care for their child - many companies would not allow this, as sick leave is intended for when the employee is sick. Even allowing for this, fourteen days in one year would be quite a high amount for sick leave. Most employers would be understanding if the OP was able to state, for example, that the fortnight sick was in one block due to surgery - if it is the odd day here and there, it definitely does not look good!

geoffky

If i was interviewing you and found out you had 19 days off in your first year then i would not hire you....far too unreliable for my liking..

Uncertain

mrsmsport wrote: »

Previous employers cannot give a bad reference but can refuse to give one. When you explain that to them, suggest that the 33 days might be seen as maliscious? Don't threaten them, I dont think that will work.

Where oh where does this ridiculous myth keep coming from?

As stated above they can say anything they like as long as it is TRUE and not intended to mislead. (Yes you can deliberately mislead with the truth but lets not go there)!

However, in this case the issue is that the previous employer made a false statement and caused the OP a loss by doing so. She could have taken action about that and possibly obtained some compensation.

The problem is how to prevent this happening again. The employer is not obliged to give a reference at all and could simply ignore any future requests. If she simply "has a go at them" about the previous problem that is most likely what will happen.

One option would be to threaten legal action over the previous problem then let the matter drop in exchange for an agreed written reference. The problem is that to be effective this would probably need to be done via a solicitor at significant cost. Even then, if the first employer really has it in for her, it is very had to police what happens by word of mouth in a small world.

Realistically, finding an alternative reference is probably easier.

Finally, technically time off to look after a sick child is not sick leave so this point also needs addressing.

Uncertain

geoffky wrote: »

If i was interviewing you and found out you had 19 days off in your first year then i would not hire you....far too unreliable for my liking..

The cannot of course legally ask this question at interview. It can be asked once a job offer has been made.

littlelol2012

Thank you all for your help.

Basically my son was off sick for a week with chicken poxs. At work we had unpaid leave for child sickness. The policies were clear and there was no problem with this. I was also myself in hospital for 4 days (a working week for me).

I worked part time (didn't work on a monday).

I'm not work shy, or unpunctual, and I was told there was no problem with my work, however she gave me two reasons.
The first being the woman was back off maternity leave, hence no longer needed me (too many staff and I was on a high pay due to the relevence of my degree), and then secondly my 'sickness'. She clearly (!!!!!!!) told me 19 days (and I have the proof).... then told my previous employer it was 33. Which is untrue. That's what I'm debating and need advice on.

I just want to nicely put it to my first employer, that they have told me one thing and then the previous employer another, jeopardizing that job, and I do not want this to happen again.

That's what I would like some advice on/how to write a serious but sincere letter.
Whether I was sick for 40 days and they said 60 days, it doesn't matter the amount of time, as what I am trying to find out is the truth and the most effective way of stating to them that they mislead me and my previous employer with what they told me and what they told them.
The information they gave one of us is untrue, they have lied to one of us.

littlelol2012

t0rt0ise wrote: »

This is not correct. Employers can give a bad reference as long as it's a true reference.

Not saying that the OP deserves a bad reference but wanted to correct this erroneous statement.

It isn't true, or it may be. She lied to either me or my previous employer.

littlelol2012

KiKi wrote: »

ARGH!!!!

Yes, they can. They can say what they like as long as it's truthful and not deliberately misleading. If she was a poor performer and always late they can say that. They can also refuse, which is tantamount to saying she's not a great employee.




Why? It's either a mistake (in which case politely request for them to address that), or it's true, in which case it's not malicious at all; it's factual.




If it was taken as sick leave, then they would quote it as such if they're asked the question. Are you advocating that the employer lies? If they ask about days off, they have to tell the truth or say nothing, otherwise what's 'fair' to someone isn't necessarily 'fair' to someone else.

KiKi

We didn't have sick leave as part time employees, if we didn't go in, we weren't paid. simple as that. I didn't use sick leave at all.