Do you send the day and evening invites out at the same time?

paperalice

Hi Everyone

I've been on this forum for a while, reading away with interest. You've all given me some great ideas for my wedding in July!

I'm hoping to order our invites soon and I was discussing sending them out with my OH. Because we aren't having a big wedding we have had to invite some people to the evening only that we would have liked to invite to the day.

My OH asked if we send the day invites out first, find out who can/can't come and then see if we can invite any of our evening guests to the day instead. This never even occurred to me as I was going to send all the invites out at once!

Is everyone else sending them separately or at the same time? Any advice is appreciated.

PinkPrincess83

Im sending mine all out at the same time. We are having a fairly small informal ceremony and sit down then a party in the evening, but we have decided that we will send them all out at the same time as we have all the important people coming all day.

If we did however have guests that we wanted there all day but were restricted on numbers I think I would still send them out all at the same time. I went to a wedding last May that I was only originally invited evening only but the bride spoke to me a month or so before the wedding and asked if I wanted to go all day- and I was so chuffed to be upgraded that I jumped at the chance. I think if you did have a couple of all day slots come free as long as you explained it correctly, people would be glad to be part of the full day (as long as you explain you were so limited on numbers but really wanted them to come- and not make it sound like you have spaces that you must fill- if that makes sense).

Ps- you should come say hello on the July 2012 thread.

MrsDrink

paperalice wrote: »

Because we aren't having a big wedding we have had to invite some people to the evening only that we would have liked to invite to the day.

In this situation I agree with your OH - I would send out your day invites first - then if you get some 'sorry I can't come' you can 'upgrade' your guests. But I wouldn't leave it too late in between the two - I'm guessing you'll need to give your venue numbers for the reception by a certain deadline. As Emma (Pinkprincess83) says - even if you send out an evening invite to someone and then last minute want to 'upgrade' them then as long as you do so tactfully then no-one will be upset.

And as Emma says - come an say hi on the July board

AllyS

We recently got upgraded for a wedding and we had already received the evening invite. Bride let us know in plenty of time and we really didn't care. In fact it was a complete honour to be next on the list I am not sure how this helps but I just wanted to let you know how it is from other side

sugarwalsh

we sent all ours out at once. We have already upgraded one couple! I wouldn't like to wait for replies as not everyone replies promptly, we are still waiting for some which should have been back beginning of January, our wedding is in march, so we thought we would get around the 'upgrade' situation by asking for early replies, leaving lots of notice time for guests who may be upgraded! Hope that makes sense,
Megan

BugglyB

We got an invitation to the evening of our friends do and then a phone call the day after to say we hoped we didnt mind being invited to the evening and we would be bumped up if there was an option to do so. My friend explained the issues they'd had with invitations and family. I thought it was lovely of him and gave a personal touch. As it was there was no space so we went to the ceremony, went to the park and then the pub with some other friends and then to the evening do, and had a fab day.

AllyS

BugglyB wrote: »

We got an invitation to the evening of our friends do and then a phone call the day after to say we hoped we didnt mind being invited to the evening and we would be bumped up if there was an option to do so. My friend explained the issues they'd had with invitations and family. I thought it was lovely of him and gave a personal touch. As it was there was no space so we went to the ceremony, went to the park and then the pub with some other friends and then to the evening do, and had a fab day.

We did this about 5 years back. Me and my work colleagues were very close and we were a big team - 10 of us. One colleague got married and she obviously couldn't afford to invite us all, so to make it fair none of us were invited to the meal, but with her agreement (church wedding) we all went to the ceremoney, meal at a pub and then went to the evening 'do' together and then stayed at the hotel. We all had an amazing day together and we got the spend part of the her wedding day with our lovely friend

paperalice

Thanks for all your replies. I just read them out to my OH and he is pleased some people agreed with him. I'm always telling him things I've read on this forum so now he feels part of it!

I think we might send them all out at once then 'upgrade' people if we can.

Right, I'm off to say hello on the July 2012 board.

floss2

We sent all ours out at the same time, having a reserve list along side the invited list, then when we'd got our RSVPs we were able to "upgrade" people to the day as well as the evening lists.