Finally ready to walk away...

Maxnana

Thank you so much, all of you - this is really helping.

However, because things have now come to a head, and we have decided to take action, I am obviously trying to get as much information as I can about how to go about things, and what will happen when we do start the ball rolling.

This has had a rollercoaster effect: At first (as I commented a couple of days ago) I felt quite calm after so long of being constantly stressed and anxious. Your replies and words of support and tales of your own experiences made me think we can do this, and come out the other side.

But as I have started reading more into things, I have started to become more anxious than ever before. Last night in fact, I had a panic attack for the first time in my life! (terrifying - paper bag job and all!) This was after having spent most of the day looking on various websites for further information on bankruptcy, failed IVAs, renting a property, handing back keys to our mortgage company etc.

I became so worked up with things and still today, feel so scared and like my heart is beating so fast it could explode! It's stuff like: I'm worried sick we won't get a rental property because we'll fail a credit check; We might not be allowed to go bankrupt and we will end up with not only our current debts, but we'll have First Plus coming after us for tens of thousands after the house is repossessed; Or even if we do go bankrupt we will have to pay all our spare money into the bankruptcy and we'll be in the same financial mess and renting! I'm even scared witless about the interviews with the bankrupcy officials, and we haven't even applied yet!

I think, I've been in a high state of anxiety for a long time, then once the decision was made I seemed to become quite calm (having fully accepted that it was now time to do something), your support on here even made me feel quite confident that at some point our lives will start again (feel like I've been holding my breath for the best part of 2 years!) Now though, I feel worse than ever - the calmness of resignation has now become an absolute all-consuming fear of what the future holds.

It's not even like I can stop reading the literature that is terrifying me, because I need to know this stuff!

Is this how other people have felt, or is it just me? Because right now I feel like I'm between the devil and the deep blue sea, and I'm not sure I can cope with either scenario.

Incidentally, my husband is (luckily) much more laid back than me. He has a 'what will be, will be' and 'it is what it is' attitude. It's just me that didn't sleep a wink last night, and looks like I'm heading for the same sort of night tonight.

Maizy

Hi Maxana

If you knew me really well you would know that I am a pretty strong person in all areas, have had to be in many ways. Right up to the point of making the decision to stop paying the mortgage/going BR.

Then once the decision was made and I knew I had to find a rental etc etc etc, the stress really hit me and yes it affected me quite bad to the point of even having a spell off work which is not something I have ever done. So its normal and its understandable and even though people tell you its going to be ok, you are the one who has to go through the stress and worry. If I could turn the clock back I would not have worried half as much.

I was advised by a smaller agent that he would be ok with a BR as long as we were up front. The house we went for with a different agent, I was totally convinced we wouldnt get and kind of went for it to test things. Luckily we got accepted and bear in mind we have much failed credit and were on a dmp. I think the agents are looking for different things and possibly mainly BR so if you get prepared properly you will be ok. Failing that you could save like mad for 6m rent up front (and may just have time to do so) or look for a guarantor. Either way whilst the anticipation causes great stress it can and will be done if you keep a level head and work through the process bit by bit.

Your creditors cannot hurt you and there is time to get things sorted so try and think logically at all times and remember, many have done this and come through the other side. I was frantically worrying over everything and I mean everything and really there was no need but with the unknown, we are bound to worry so I wont insult you by saying 'dont' but can offer assurance that things are not half as bad as we first think they are going to be. That is a promise. I truly truly feel at ease now, no phone calls, no debts just riding the year out appreciating what I do have which is family time, health and enough to live on.

Without this forum and the support of fellow members, I doubt I would have taken the leap so keep with MSE for support and you will get from A to B and put it all behind you, good luck to you and ps my husband is pretty much like yours and I think its good to have someone who can keep calm throughout this, especially if you know it is a process you HAVE to go through to obtain peace in your life and you must believe this is achievable because it IS.

Teen_the_Drama_Queen

Awwww Maxnana, I do feel for you

In a way you have done the hardest part and that is to make the decision to go BR.

Once you hand the keys of your property back, the Firstplus loan then becomes 'unsecured' (ie you don't own the property upon which it was secured) and can then be included in the BR.

Please don't lose any sleep over Firstplus - they are not worth it!!!
We dealt with them and I know what rotters they are (I'm being polite here :rotfl:).

Don't worry about firms ringing once you are BR, they can do bog all about it. We had one firm saying 'just because you are BR does not mean you have no money!' They obviously know soooo much about these matters. I just said 'you cannot deal with me, you have to deal with the Official Receiver - this is their phone number......' What a great feeling!

Your husband has the right attitude, my DH kept saying 'we are where we are'. You are doing the right thing by reading as much as you can - every person's situation is different, but being clued up is extremely useful.

Honestly, things will get better..... people on this board can truly say we've been there, done that and things really do get easier. Life is different... that's all, just different, but not in a bad way.

Do keep posting on here for support to get you through the darker days.

xxxxxx :A

Maxnana

I have just had a long conversation with a nice lady from National Debtline. And whilst it didn't put my mind at rest as such - this is going to be very stressful and scary, no matter what, she did give me a lot of important information, and is sending out some literature which will be very useful.

One thing I didn't realise, is that once we go BR, we will have to pay every penny surplus we have into the bankruptcy for 3 years. For some reason I thought it was for just a year. So it will still be some time before we will have a half decent way of life. I suppose we will just have to put our lives on hold for another 3 years, in the knowledge that at least it's less than the just short of 20 years it would be if we went on like this...

Ineedaname

The living allowance for BR are different from that in an IVA so your surplus may be a different amount. If you want an idea of how an OR might view your income and expenditure then feel free to pop up an SOA so members can comment for you.

Maxnana

Thank you Ineedaname. Here is my SOA as suggested:

Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet

Household Information
Number of adults in household........... 3
Number of children in household......... 0
Number of cars owned.................... 1

Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 975
Partners monthly income after tax....... 2100
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 150
Total monthly income.................... 3225

Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 475
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 1095
Rent.................................... 0
Management charge (leasehold property).. 4.2
Council tax............................. 129
Electricity............................. 61
Gas..................................... 67
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 32.32
Telephone (land line)................... 20
Mobile phone............................ 26
TV Licence.............................. 12.54
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 45
Internet Services....................... 20
Groceries etc. ......................... 502
Clothing................................ 60
Petrol/diesel........................... 50
Road tax................................ 23
Car Insurance........................... 48
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 30
Car parking............................. 20
Other travel............................ 0
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 35
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
Buildings insurance..................... 8.5
Contents insurance...................... 8.5
Life assurance ......................... 37.87
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 50
Haircuts................................ 20
Entertainment........................... 0
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 0
Professional registration fees.......... 6.35
Total monthly expenses.................. 2886.28


Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 125000
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 0
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 125000


Secured & HP Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Mortgage...................... 70000....(475)......0
Secured Debt.................. 100000...(947)......0
Hire Purchase (HP) debt ...... 2000.....(148)......0
Total secured & HP debts...... 172000....-.........-

Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
IVAs...........................60000.....300.......0
Credit card....................947.......19.23.....0
Catalogue 1....................550.......35........0
Catalogue 2....................150.......9.........0
Total unsecured debts..........61647.....363.23....-


Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 3,225
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 2,886.28
Available for debt repayments........... 338.72
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 363.23
Amount short for making debt repayments. -24.51

Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 125,000
Total HP & Secured debt................. -172,000
Total Unsecured debt.................... -61,647
Net Assets.............................. -108,647

Created using the SOA calculator at www.makesenseofcards.com.
Reproduced on Moneysavingexpert with permission, using Firefox browser.

I think it's all about correct. Any comments are appreciated. Thank you.

PS. I'm not sure of any APRs - I will look them up if anyone thinks it's required.

JCS1

Can you re-do your SOA as it would be after BR. So if you are planning on renting before your go BR, then take out the mortgage and secured loan, and put in what your expected rent figure would be.

Also, I see there are 3 adults - is the other income of £150 what the 3rd adult contributes?

Maxnana

Oh, sorry - I never thought of that - what an idiot! I will redo it shortly and repost. Do I still put the other stuff on like car hp etc? Not sure what to include and what not to get it to how it would be after BR.

Yes, the £150 is what my son contributes, as he still lives at home (and plans to come with us wherever we end up!)

tigerfeet2006

Do you know if the HP co. are happy for you to keep the car and to carry on recieving repayments?

Most HP co.'s will terminate the agreement as soon as you go BR so please check with them that they are happy for you to carry on.

~Fleur~

Maxnana wrote: »

I have just had a long conversation with a nice lady from National Debtline. And whilst it didn't put my mind at rest as such - this is going to be very stressful and scary, no matter what, she did give me a lot of important information, and is sending out some literature which will be very useful.

One thing I didn't realise, is that once we go BR, we will have to pay every penny surplus we have into the bankruptcy for 3 years. For some reason I thought it was for just a year. So it will still be some time before we will have a half decent way of life. I suppose we will just have to put our lives on hold for another 3 years, in the knowledge that at least it's less than the just short of 20 years it would be if we went on like this...

I can't offer advice on the technical stuff but I will say that your life will be better than wading through the mire of of debt and the depression that it brings. I was given an IPA today at my interview which was far less than I thought it might of been, and I consider myself lucky that I only have 36 payments to make- rather than years of uncertainty.
Your life wont be hold for 3 years- try and think of it as a brand new start for you and your family