Non-coupon related Drivel Thread 6

pandorasbox01

:eek::eek:MURDER AT TESCO :eek::eek:

Tired of constantly
Being broke and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife and then arrange to have her killed.

A 'friend of a friend'
Put him in touch with an underworld figure who went by the name of 'Artie.' Artie explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was £10,000.



The
Husband said he was willing to pay that amount but that he wouldn't have any cash until he collected his wife's insurance. Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened his wallet, displaying the single pound coin inside.
Artie sighed, rolled his eyes and reluctantly agreed to accept the pound as down payment for the dirty deed.



A few
days later, Artie followed the wife to the local Tesco Supermarket. There, he surprised her in the produce department and proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands. As the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath and slumped to the floor, the manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well.



However,
unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the security cameras and observed by the security guard, who immediately called the police. Artie was caught and arrested immediately.

Under intense
questioning, Artie revealed the whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless husband who was also arrested.
The next day in the
newspaper, the headline declared...

(You're
Going to hate me for this...)







'ARTIE CHOKES 2 for £1.00 @ Tesco

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

bullshot

'ARTIE CHOKES 2 for £1.00 @ Tesco

love it....

jeferey

jonty03 wrote: »

Hi Jeferey, glad the weather's nice enough for you to get on your allottment,

Can I ask if you're setting any seeds off at the mo. I usually buy plug plants in and grow them on, but DGS wants to plant seeds and I'm not sure what to sow yet - no heated greenhouse, so need to use window ledges.

Tried tomatoes last year but set them off far too late apparantly - one or two nice, if small, green tomatoes in November - Also planted some left-over Asda potatoes that had sprouted and they grew well.

Want to grow easy veg, probably in containers - any suggestions please.

I've got some peppers, leeks, cabbage, peas, broad beans started from seed.
Keep meaning to start tomatoes off - any time now!

I never buy plug plants - always from seed. They are all in the conservatory at the minute. Then they will go to unheated greenhouse (I just light a few recycled candles if there's a frost forecast).

Putting first potatoes in at the allotment next weekend under glass, they will be ready first week of June - we are still eating potatoes from last year and have onions, leeks, parsnips and salad left - had some at lunch today

Dr.Who-Who

Bully, my real birthday cake for you :D:D:D:D


Vanilla cake covered in chocolate butter cream ... oh BLUE will love it!!:p:p:p

Dr.Who-Who

jeferey wrote: »

I've got some peppers, leeks, cabbage, peas, broad beans started from seed.

Putting first potatoes in at the allotment next weekend under glass, they will be ready first week of June

I am going to stalk you then follow you to your allotment to see which patch is yours then in June I shall nick some of your produce:p:p:p:p

charley123

Dr.Who-Who wrote: »

Blue, I was cleaning when you called me.

So, today's Sunday mail has a £5 wys £40

Tomorrow Daily Mirror is also doing £5 wys £40

hmmm vouchers:rotfl::rotfl:

There is also an instore leaflet about with £10 mocs in ( i haven't seen yet but similar to what T's have done in the past £1 off wys xx on cheese, veg etc)

cornishlady

adoreholidays wrote: »

Sent DH to do a BM shop at S's

Ariel excel Gel 925ml £7.49 £4 at T's £3.49
Pantene Ice Shine 500ml £4.49 £2.99 at T's £1.50
always liner 52's £3.20 £2.13 at T's £1.07
Kellogs crunchy nut cornflakes 500g £2.68 £2 at T's 68p
Highland spring water sports cap 12 x £4.09 £2.04 at T's £2.03
Andrex washletts moist wipes refil £1.87 £1 at T's 87p

2 x MOS £3
cooked chicken £4.39
Sainsburys rolls 44p (reduced but were own brand)

used 3 x SSM coupons and a washlets 50p £3.16 discount
paid £24.99 got £7.82:mad: Brand match should have got £9.64 so not sure what didn't work which is the frustrating thing abt S's Brand Match

thanks for this ,i dont have a Mr T or Mr A near me so have done a couple of Mr S BM but quite often it gets abandomed as they dont have the products on my list.just been lookiing on MyS & the Aerial was one of the things i thought i might get

quoia

Hey BLUE, since we were talking of the QUEEN OF DRIVEL - K(.)(.)P - in the wee small hours, thought I'd post an update here

quoia wrote: »

quoia wrote: »

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

THE SUN SUNDAY

NO GIVEAWAYS ADVERTISED but DEFINITELY ONE TO AVOID

:eek: JORDAN :eek: - KATIE (.)(.) PRICE - HARD HITTING COLUMNIST :rotfl:

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

BLUEWKD wrote: »

:j:j:j:jMy Sundays are complete again, Jordan/Katie is back or is that front :cool::cool::cool::cool::cool::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

I thought there would be some megga offer in the new paper:(

Thanks for posting Quoia. Don't go spending all day reading Katie's column instead of visiting your Uncle;)

On the contrary Won't be buying that trash - UTTER DRIVEL

One "columnist" :rotfl: that I'd like to HIT VERY HARD

Did you read any of her HARD HITTING COLUMN ? :rotfl:

I had a peek in the newsagent just to confirm what I already knew !

What UTTER TRIPE including 2 items that totally demonstrate what an obnoxious and brainless bint she is.

Firstly, UNLIKE other celebrities (those with genuine talent) like actors or sportsmen, who use their name and fame to gain privileges us mere mortals dream of ....

... like being able to book a table in a posh restaurant at the last minute ....

... " I don't suppose you have a table for 2 tonight do you ? I know it's 2pm and it's Valentine's Day but I am INSERT NAME (George Clooney, Kate Winslet, Stephen Fry, David Beckham , Steve Redgrave etc.) and I'd be very grateful if you could squeeze us in"

Yes Sir/Madam, THAT'S NOT A PROBLEM - 7:30 OK ?"

... for Jordan, Katie (.)(.) Price, apparently it's ....

THE REVERSE :rotfl:

If she phones up herself and uses her own name then the restaurant IS FULL, NO possibility of her booking a table (AND it ISN'T Valentine's Day or Xmas Eve, New Years Eve or other such recognised date - just a dreary Thursday or such) .....

... SO she has to get her PA to ring up and book it in another name - and apparently there is never a problem and tables get booked in abundance ...

... BUT when SHE :eek:(.)(.):eek: turns up :eek:, there are scowls and disappointed faces in these establishments and GUESS WHAT ? :rotfl:

Restaurant WAS NEVER FULL - EVER - there are spare tables - just didn't want (.)(.) there !!! :rotfl:

The second article ...

She's NOT HAPPY that a fixed penalty fine for a motoring offence has recently dropped through her letterbox ....
something about her Range Rover and a narrow lane with BARRIERS and ZIG-ZAG lines and her EXPENSIVE ALLOY WHEELS and not wanting to get them scratched .....

AND she's been CAUGHT ON CAMERA by the Evil BIG BROTHER Society

for doing what ?????????????

DRIVING where ONLY FIRE-ENGINES ARE ALLOWED :rotfl:

What a STUPID



Words fail me :rotfl:

Dr.Who-Who

Oh my , oh my Quoia, why do you read all those crap???? I know you have all the time in your hand and I have to agree with Blue = you are better off visiting your uncle at least you get free dosh.

Well known restaurants do not like to be associate with the likes of her:D I too would not like to be associate with her:rotfl::rotfl: she is such as screwed up bimbo!

quoia

Dr.Who-Who wrote: »

Oh my , oh my Quoia, why do you read all those crap???? I know you have all the time in your hand and I have to agree with Blue = you are better off visiting your uncle at least you get free dosh.

Well known restaurants do not like to be associate with the likes of her:D I too would not like to be associate with her:rotfl::rotfl: she is such as screwed up bimbo!

Took less than 90 seconds in the newsagents to read all I needed to ...

.. and I went up the ORINOCO a little later ...

... came back with MORE THAN I SPENT :rotfl:

Don't worry about my activities as a Nephew - I've got more "litter" than I know what to do with.
Did wonder if I should start selling it on eBay