Non-coupon related Drivel Thread 6

pandorasbox01

A woman in her forties went to a plastic surgeon for a face-lift.
The surgeon told her about a new procedure called "The Knob," where a small knob is placed on the back of a woman's head and can be turned to tighten up her skin to produce the effect of a brand new face lift.

Of course, the woman wanted "The Knob."

Over the course of the years, the woman tightened the knob, and the effects were wonderful -- the woman remained young looking and vibrant.

After fifteen years, the woman returned to the surgeon with two problems.

"All these years, everything has been working just fine.
I've had to turn the knob and I've always loved the results.
But now I've developed two annoying problems:

First, I have these terrible bags under my eyes and the knob won't get rid of them."

The doctor looked at her closely and said, "Those aren't bags, those are your breasts."

She said, "No point asking about the beard then..........."

BLUEWKD

Glitch on WW ready meals https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/3717441

cornishlady

Dr.Who-Who wrote: »

Cornish, you can still do to get JTD (from sains or T). Just be careful one of them Duo is OSS on mysupermarket (so it won't compare). You can still get £5 from Sains or £5 back to your bank from T.

Thanks Dr but looked in Sainsburys on my way home from work and they didnt have the duo packs and nearest MrT is 40 mile round trip

Dr.Who-Who

cornishlady wrote: »

Thanks Dr but looked in Sainsburys on my way home from work and they didnt have the duo packs and nearest MrT is 40 mile round trip

oh no........ I only managed 2 packs @ Asda. Ask for more they said it has been discontinued:eek::eek::eek:

I bought mine for 56p each (reduced) x 2 use by 29/1/11. I need 3 (hint hint please....... anyone? it has got to be from Asda please). BLUE, I need one more code from Asda store:D.

And yes, me paid separately, and decided to do my apg shop instead its just doesn't look right not to shop APG:rotfl:.

pandorasbox01

heres a bit of stickman fun.:p

http://www.drawastickman.com/

Dr.Who-Who

Is it only my store or they cotton on now on Huggies Starter kit?

At first, they were in my basket but my usual cashier said she can only take £3 off even though the coupon states £5 since Asda is doing promotional offers and that is the price they can accept. So me did not buy any from this store.

They also took my tropicana voucher at £2.18 even though the coupon is for £2.59:(

quoia

A woman decides to treat herself and have a facelift in preparation for her upcoming 50th birthday. She spends £15,000 and feels pretty good about the results.

On her birthday she goes shopping for some new outfits. One looks so good with a new pair of red stilettos, feeling like a million dollars decides to keep it on for the rest of the day.

On her way home, she stops at a newsagent to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the young man who served her, 'I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am ?

'About 32,' is the reply.'

'No! I'm exactly 50,' the woman says happily.

A little while later she goes into McDonalds to get a coffee and asks the counter girl the very same question.

The girl replies, 'I'd guess about 29.' The woman replies with a big smile, 'No, I'm actually 50.'

Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops in a chemist on her way down the street. She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the assistant the same burning question.

The sales girl responds, 'Oh, I'd say 30.'

Again she proudly responds, 'I'm 50, but thank you!'

While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question.

He replies, 'Lady, I'm 78 and my eyesight is fading somewhat. Although, when I was young there was a way I tried to discern how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands inside your blouse and undo your bra. Then, and only then I can tell you EXACTLY how old you are.'

They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the better of her. She finally blurts out, 'What the hell, go ahead.'

He slips both of his hands under her blouse, releases her breasts and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast and he gently pinches each nipple.

After a couple of minutes of this, she says, 'Okay, okay.....How old am I?'

He completes one last firm squeeze of her breasts, gingerly tweaks each nipple first clockwise then anticlockwise, ending with a final little tug on both, removes his hands, and says, 'Madam, even though you might look much younger, perhaps passing for a vivacious 31 or 32, you are actually 50 years old. TODAY if I'm not mistaken'

Stunned and amazed, the woman says, 'That was incredible, how did you work that out ?'

The old man says .................

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..... My eyesight may be poor but there's nothing wrong with my hearing .....

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I WAS STANDING BEHIND YOU IN THE QUEUE AT McDONALDS :rotfl:

sidemoore

has anyone waiting for a JTD voucher got one back today? Im waiting on two and want to go out later to use them :mad:
Thanks

Dr.Who-Who

sidemoore wrote: »

has anyone waiting for a JTD voucher got one back today? Im waiting on two and want to go out later to use them :mad:
Thanks

I am waiting for my yesterday's shop too. Patience is a Virtue;)

sidemoore

Dr.Who-Who wrote: »

I am waiting for my yesterday's shop too. Patience is a Virtue;)

I thought it was just me. What do you reckon our chances are of seeing one tonight? Me not a very patient person