got engaged recently

hostie1985

I got proposed to on xmas day (it was a yes lol) and everyone keeps asking us 'have you set a date' etc. Would like to get married in 2012 but would more likely be 2013.


Both me and the fiancee would like to get married abroad but my other halfs nan and grandad would like to see us get married in the uk as they are unable to fly as they are not that well (heart probs etc) i feel a bit guilty if we did go abroad to get married. has anyone come across this?


thanx

hostie Xx

MrsDrink

Congratulations

What I would suggest is for the two of you to write down a list of everything you definitely want and don't want in your weddings and see where that takes you. I'd also question why you want to get married abroad? Is it to keep the cost down/number of guests restricted (in which case you can do that in this country) or is it because there is somewhere dear to you both that you would love to marry in.

Enjoy planning your wedding

johannalf88

Tbh I would like to get married abroad in Tuscany or somewhere like that. But we have a lot of people who wouldn't be able to come, and our grandparents would be devistated if they weren't there, so we never even discussed it. If you definitely want to get married abroad you could have a church blessing or something similar once back in the UK. Then they could attend that?

hostie1985

thank you mrsdrink

me and my boyfriend/fiancee have been together for 8 years and the idea of getting married has come up a few times in recent years and we have both said that if we did ever get married we would get married abroad. nothing to do the cost or restriction of guests. i dont want to get married in a church as i am not religious and would like an intimate wedding. i just feel guilty if we did go away and get married, as my fiancee is close to his nan and grandad. we would have a reception/evening do (back into the wedding dress etc) when we did get home so his nan and grandad will still celebrate with us as well as others that would not be able to make it.

hostie Xx

johannalf88

Reading that you are not religious- how about a humanist ceremony when you get back? That can be done like a blessing, it's a chance to right your own vows, read them again, an have your marriage blessed by your new family? N it's not a legal thing.

(when my parents got married my granny made them have a blessing before she considered it real... So this could be the UK wedding bit.)

sugarwalsh

It is your wedding sodo as you wold like. However, I would bare the following in mind - it is likely his grandparents would like to see the whole thing (Maybe you could video it?), ceremony included as it is not just all about the celebrations to the oldies! Also, having it abroard may mean restricting the guests you have. I also would feel very guilty about a) taking peoples precious holiday time and b) asking people to make a big financial commitment. I also think that I would struggle to choose somewhere abroard, so unless you have seen the perfect venue it may be difficult. That said, it could all be very amazing and you will kjnkow your guests and what they are comfortable with being able to afford etc.

There are loads of non religious places you can marry, many of them are really stunning. Have a look around and see what is available? You could then go for a really amazing honeymoon?

As for dates - you could easily arrange a wedding in a few months if you wanted, but you will then be resticted to where you have it etc? You may find that after summer 2012 is a good time as when it hgets quieter you have more negotiating powers. Plus you can cash in and buy second hand from all the spring/summer weddings!!

Congratulations, btw. Oh, and AMAZING saving towards your deposit, it looks like an amazing year ahead for you.
MEgan

fawny

Hi Hostie,

Congratulations:D

Just thought i'd chip in as we are getting married in Lindos next year. We have been together for 5 years & the 1st place we went on holiday together was Lindos & Pefkos & we fell in love with the place & each other(we had only been together 2 months when we went away so it was a bit like a make or break everyone said going away that early in the relationship) So it has always had a special meaning to us & we go back every year in September for 2 weeks so we know the place well. I always said that if we got married it would be wonderful to marry there, lovely & warm stunning views. When OH proposed back in Feb we had to really sit down & think about it, we wrote a list of the pros & cons of marrying in the UK & abroad to help us. One of the issues we had for the UK is that as we both don't have much family & only a small number of friends we were struggling on getting the minimum numbers that the venues wanted here that we liked. It was easy for me to say go abroad as I knew my folks would come & also several others, but OH folks are a lot older & have health problems which we knew meant they would not be able to come. We discussed this as I was worried how they would feel & would OH regreat not having them there. OH did think about it but decided that he really wanted to marry in Lindos as it meant a lot to us so we explained this to his folks & they were happy for us. I know that they are sad that they can't come but they respect our wishes & they are happy for us. We are going to go out for a special meal with them when we get back which they are happy with. Most of our family & friends have been happy for us & though it was a great idea, a few have been a bit funny about it because of the cost of going abroad but we have not put any pressure on anyone to come & have explained this to everyone. We have 13 guests confirmed at the moment & possibly another 5 could be coming so we happy with the numbers. I would say do what you are happy with but if you do go abroad you have to be prepared for a small wedding & not be upset about people not coming.

All the best

wanchai_2

Would you regret not having the grandparents there? That will answer it for you