Decluttering (especially children's stuff)

JimmyTheWig

In one way I'd say it was you.
But in another way I agree with you.

It is incredibly tidy. Nowhere in our house ever looks as neat as that.

But I do agree that it is incredibly cluttered. Every surface, as you point out, is brim full of stuff.

Have you noticed that they play with more things when there is less stuff everywhere? We have, certainly.
It must be pretty difficult for her to get to anything specific, unless it's on the top of one of the piles.
I'd take this approach with her.

I'd start off with lots of praise. She must do a really good job in keeping her room this tidy. Father Christmas likes children's rooms to be tidy, so she'll probably get lots of presents from him. But it's difficult to get to some of your favourite stuff at the moment, isn't it. Why don't I help you clear some stuff out so that we can reach the best stuff easier. When we're done we could play one of the games that was out of reach together.

MarilynMonroe_2

Those rooms are tidy to me! I think youre over reacting... as a FORMER hoarder myself, it hurts to get rid of things if youre not ready. My mam used to get the black bag out, and its like someone else is chucking your life out!! It took me till I was 39 to get rid of cards I'd kept for 20 odd years! .. if anyone else had told me to get rid I would feel hurt by it.
I woudl rethink the storage in your dd's bedroom, some floor to ceiling cupboards, shelves maybe. x

bestpud

It isn't what I'd call untidy. Remind me never to invite you for a cuppa! :rotfl:

But if it annoys you then you need to do something about it.

londonsurrey

JodyBPM wrote: »

But what you can't see is that the desk doesn't shut fully as its got sooo much junk in it, open up the dolls house and its full of junk, and all the trofast boxes are filled to overflowing with junk, the storage boxes under the bed are full of junk...

I take your point. But I would go as far as to predict that the more you throw away, the more insecure she'll get and the more she'll try to control her environment by trying to hang on to more stuff.

Imagine a world where every now and again, I randomly wander into your house, and cart off a couple of saucepans, one shoe, a cushion from the sofa (not the scatter cushions, the actual seat).


The worst part is not only do you end up stressed with her and trying to get rid of stuff for her for your next 10+ years with her, she never actually learns how to get rid of stuff because her focus is on battling the random disappearance of stuff. This is why I advocate working with her to rehome stuff in a way that works for her.

Daughters don't automatically, over time, become that polished person you envisage. I know. My mother used to have a go at me over my housework contributions. In the end, I gave up - she would criticise whether I did it or not, and I'd rather be criticised for not doing housework than doing it and still receiving an earful. She predicated a dire ending for me. After all, how can you exist in a civilised way otherwise?

Guess what? I grew up, got a good job,
... and hired some very good and cheerful cleaners.

kj*daisy

It's tidy, but I can see you are dealing with a lot of stuff. I get irate when there is stuff out with no home, and every Christmas I get stressed with all the stuff the kids get given that needs a home, and quite frankly a lot of it is never played with again! I have had to sort out DDs artwork, drawings etc and I just bin stuff and keep the best. She'd never agree to it going but really it's the creating she likes as she never asks for it once it's gone.

I would hate to have caravan stuff stored in the bedroom, I think your hubby needs to clear the loft so that can go away. that would make life easier I can see.

I would leave major sorting out until you need to put away the new stuff and do it then, or if they go out clear away the tat like old magazine toys etc. I randomly bin stuff now, just be careful not to bin
an essential toy component like I accidentally did recently!

JodyBPM

Its definitely a clutter issue rather than a tidiness issue, and to be fair DH is the same as DD - its not that they won't clean and tidy, they are both *really* good at that, more that they seem to view every space, every surface etc as somewhere to be "filled", and so the house is so cluttered.

I think DS may take after me a bit more in being able to throw things away. He is actually the hardest to get to tidy up, but his room is far less cluttered (possibly because its so small) and there is at least a place for everything.

I have to pick DS from school in a mo, but when I get back, I might go round the house taking photos of the "hotspots" that are currently driving me mad! Mostly its to do with Xmas stuff being stuffed everywhere...

I think that the best interim solution for the house in general would be to get the loft boarded and organised, so we could fit more stuff there, and if it was boarded I would be happy to go fetch things, so more things could live up there - currently its only stuff that rarely gets used...But I need to wait for DH to clear it first so that they can board it...

smartpicture

JodyBPM wrote: »

But what you can't see is that the desk doesn't shut fully as its got sooo much junk in it, open up the dolls house and its full of junk, and all the trofast boxes are filled to overflowing with junk, the storage boxes under the bed are full of junk...

To you, it's junk....

To her, it's all valuable, important, treasured stuff....

And it's HER stuff.... You need to stop thinking of it as junk and then you might be able to think of better ways to address it with her.

Boarding the loft sounds a great idea though. Just be aware that there is a weight limit for these things so you can't just shove everything up there

JimmyTheWig

Tell your husband that you see the loft as a priority.
Work out together what needs to happen (e.g. emptying it all, dealing with it, boarding it out, re-filling it, etc), work out when that's going to happen, who is going to do it, how you are both going to arrange the next few days to allow time for it to happen.
E.g. if it's going to take half a day to empty the loft and it's not a job you can do then you need to take on other stuff so that your husband has got time to do it.

JodyBPM

Ok, well I didn't take any photos, instead I used the time to declutter some of the problem areas. Stuff like Christmas food stuffed on top of the cupboard in the dining room and soft drinks stacked on top of the dresser I can't do anything about, so I left those. But I've taken the damn Christmas cards down (if I have time tonight I will make them into a garland or something), but I just can't stand them cluttering up every windowsill and surface in the house any longer, and constantly picking them up off the floor after the cats/children have knocked them over. I've sorted through all the post and old envelopes that DH leaves on the phone cabinet in the hall, and rehung the stack of baubles that fell off the outdoor Christmas tree and dh picked up and just dumped on the side. Upstairs is all hoovered and tidy (well was until the littlies came home from school - its probably mucky again now, but I'll deal with that at bedtime) and I've been drying washing on the rads today, so have managed to get most of that dried and put away.

Tonight I'll get DH to help with the stuff in the stair basket and the stuff that has migrated to the top of the wicker basket in the sitting room (the children use the wicker basket as a toybox, which I'm fine with, but once things need to be stacked on top of it, then its officially full and needs clearing out...)

Kitchen is clear as that's my domain:)

JimmyTheWig

Good work, Jody.