Decluttering (especially children's stuff)

Caroline73_2

I honestly think that trying to sort it before Christmas will just cause anguish all round.

Speaking from experience as a neat freak who lives with hoarders you need to pick your battles.

My youngest sons room is terrible at the moment. My plan is to go with him into his room after Christmas and put everything onto the floor. I have bought him new shelves and cupboards as we've only lived here 6 months. I will help him to tidy the room but he needs to decide what to keep. There will be a charity shop box, eBay box and a bin bag too. If it doesn't fit on the storage available it will have to go in one of those. I always let my children keep the profits from ebayed items obviously. Once sorted anything else that he receives (toy, magazine tat etc) goes on a one in, one out basis.

It's a great system and does work. Hubby is now fully trained in this system. Start decluttered your house bit by bit. One drawer at a time. If someone adds something to a place you've tidied just pick it up and say "you've left this in the wrong drawer/shelf etc where would you like me to put it for you. It makes it sound like you are tidying up for them without nagging. Going in all guns blazing with just make them defiant. Make them think that it was there idea.

londonsurrey

Maybe she instinctively doesn't like the idea of good stuff going to landfill.

I'd try to involve her in how to get rid of stuff in a positive way. I know a lady who collect Christmas cards, calenders, etc and cuts them into gift tags that she then donates to a charity shop. Could you help your daughter to do crafts or locate a good home for things like that takeaway calender?

You mention how she gets upset when you throw things away. From her point of view, not only has she lost something, she had the control and power wrested away from her. So careful explanation and exploration of how the hundred soft toys that haven't been touched for years would go to homes that actually appreciate them, the actual work that a charity like a hospice does, the money they need, etc, might help her deal with how one lets go of things in a good way.

JimmyTheWig

You need to decide on the rules and stick to them.
E.g. DD can keep as much plastic junk as she likes if it all fits in box X. If box X is full and she wants to keep more plastic junk then she needs to get rid of something from that box.
Likewise, she can keep as many pictures / school work as she likes on her wall / pinboard / drawer Y. If it doesn't fit, again she needs to decide on something that has to go.
Label the boxes and drawers.
Help her tidy once a week to make sure everything goes in and fits in the right place.

Sounds like your son is already pretty much doing this. But no reason not to formalise it with his stuff, too.

And do the same with your husband.
If he's not very good at sorting out joint stuff (e.g. filing bank statements, knowing where the playing cards live) have a box that he can put stuff in to be sorted by you. You can then do that at a time when he's doing laundry / dinner / etc.


It's just like sticking to a budget. You can't spend more than you have coming in. Likewise, you can't keep more than you've got space for. As long as everyone agrees with that it's just a case of ensuring it happens.


In terms of moving, if you're mortgage free in a small house, I can't see it taking that big a mortgage to move to a bigger house, can it?
Do you need the caravan? Do you get much benefit from having it? Would it be worth selling and putting that money (as well as the fees you have to pay for it) towards the new house? That would help remove some of the clutter and help towards the bigger place.

balletshoes

As your DD and your DH are the main cluttering culprits, and they already are in the double bedrooms, I don't think a bigger house is going to make any difference at all - there will just be more space for them to clutter up!

bestpud

I agree a bigger house is not the answer, as hoarders will fill any space available to them.

You either need to ignore what goes on in their rooms but insist communal areas are kept clear, or train them to give stuff away periodically.

If you really cannot face the confrontation, another option is to go in when they are not around and stick various items in a cardboard box and hide it in the loft. If nothing is said in 2 weeks then out it goes! if they do mention a particular item, you can 'find' that when you go to throw the rest out!

It will take longer than a few days if you want to take the softly softly approach though and it will be an ongoing battle!

I would tell her she won't be getting anything new if she doesn't make space, and I'm afraid I'd stick to it as well!

As for your OH - tell him he has 24 hours to make all his stuff fit in a designated place or you will do it! It works!

JodyBPM

OK, lots of good suggestions.

I'm wondering if I'm over-reacting now - this is DDs room,
http://i859.photobucket.com/albums/ab155/JodyBPM/Messy%20house/IMAG0409.jpg
It's not so much that she's untidy, more cluttered. I have to collect up stuff from off the windowsill/desk etc at least once a week and try to get her to put it all away - every inch of space is piled high...

Think just the extra clutter of Xmas cards, Xmas goodies and pressies is getting to me...

http://s859.photobucket.com/albums/ab155/JodyBPM/Messy%20house/

londonsurrey

LOL. You're right, it is you. It's abnormally neat for a child's room, and actually looks like it's just been tidied for a display/MIL inspection rather than its normal state of being lived in.

JodyBPM

londonsurrey wrote: »

LOL. You're right, it is you. It's abnormally neat for a child's room, and actually looks like it's just been tidied for a display/MIL inspection rather than its normal state of being lived in.

But what you can't see is that the desk doesn't shut fully as its got sooo much junk in it, open up the dolls house and its full of junk, and all the trofast boxes are filled to overflowing with junk, the storage boxes under the bed are full of junk...

xxlouisexx56

I say to my DD (she is 5, 6 next week) that in order for Father Christmas to bring her new things, she must collect up all her old toys and give them to the children who dont have any toys. She walks into the charity shop, with her bags, so proud to be giving other children something.

Im afraid with the tat (mcdonalds toys, magazine crud, drawings) i just bin them when she isnt here

yellowbear

Would that my kids' rooms looked like that!

What about a scrap book for her drawings/paintings? Maybe she could frame a couple that she especially likes?

Would she be open to giving some older toys away to hospitals/hospices for Christmas?

Ask her to put away some toys for a couple of weeks to see if she could live without them. If she can, could she recycle/give away/bin those ones?