Serious Family Debt Problems

ianianian_2

I’m desperate and grateful for any advice here.

My girlfriend’s brother has racked up serious debts with short term loan companies, usually to pay for nights out. Everyone has tried to help out, but he constantly seems to be getting into more trouble to the point that it’s pulling the family apart.

He’s over 18, lives at home and has a reasonable job in a bank. All of his wages go on paying back loans, family and friends. He’s on his last warning in the bank and we’re not sure whether they’d sack him if they found out about his money problems.

I would never put the blame at the door of short term loan companies – they provide a service which will no doubt be of use to some people – but money is now so easy to come by (he is sent texts every couple of minutes offering him money) that if his will-power slips for a minute he’s got £100 for a night out at 4000% interest.

The family have tried to take the softly softly approach for fear of throwing him out of the house and things spiralling out of control, but they can no longer afford to help.

Any ideas? For example is there anyway we can (with his consent) get a bar on him taking out loans or do we have to rely on his will-power (which isn't working so far!).

Thank you so much in advance!

somethingcorporate

Being an adult unless he has severe mental issues there is no way you can stop them doing things an adult is entitled to do - like apply for credit.

The only thing you can do is withdraw financial support - people that are bad with money have to learn the hard way. The longer families and friends bail them out the longer it takes them to learn since the consequences are generally less when dealing with casual loans.

Stop financially supporting them and let them deal with the consequences. They are an adult after all.

debt_doctor

Hi,

He needs to realise he has a problem and want to deal with it by seeking advice. Your families very well meaning assistance to bail him out is giving an ability to continue. He clearly has a caring family support network, but I would urge you to switch that in to steering towards finding CAB, national debtline or other charity help.
There is much to be done to help him, the job could well be an issue, but the situation needs to be sorted. Eventually, if he defaults on what are usually 'last chance saloon' payday loans, they too will refuse to lend further, so reality check is around the corner.

Good luck,

DD

ianianian_2

Thank you both - i thought that yours would be the type of advice that I would receive, but it's good to have confirmation from others.

I supposed refusing support is sink or swim time i.e. he either sorts him self out or can't afford to pay rent and ends up on the streets.

We've pointed him in the direction of the CAB, but as you say, once someone reaches 18, they're effectively on there own.

Thanks again for your time!

Ian

Tupperware_Queen

I agree...you may be acting with the best of intentions, but you are helping him to avoid facing up to the problems. I did it with the ex for years