Life doesn't begin at 40.....

sandraroffey

yes indeed, i thought 60 was the new 40??

I am 65 this year and i was divorced in 2003, i had 5 children, all grown up except for the youngest one, who still at home at 16. my husband had been a control freak and a bully for all our married life - 37 years.

it all got a bit too much when he started major violence and damage in the home,(throwing gunpowder around and trying to find matches to light it) because he couldnt get his own way. although damage to the home was nothing unusual when he couldnt get his own way. when someone called the police, he waved a shotgun in their face. when he came out of prison i had to run. i was being chased by the world for his debts, and mine and then he wouldnt leave us alone, so i had to run. i lost everything...my pub, the house i rented out, everything. i was declared bankrupt in 2005, in my absense.

i ran in 2005 and it took him just 3 months to find out where i was living. ( still had to have control).so i went back to the police. he knows the town where i am but not my address.

i am as poor as a church mouse, BUT i have all my kids, which he doesnt!!!! and that is worth more than all the money in the world, and i am happy!!!!!! no more getting up in the morning and worrying my self silly over who upset him the night before, which he would take out on me. no more walking around every day on eggshells in case any of US upset him. no more being bullied into things i dont want to do. everything was always his way or no way!!! if he had been rowing with me before he went to the pub, and i was in bed asleep when he got back, he would wake me up and start again.

its a lovely life for me now and i know i should have left him years ago. but i had always had the thought that i wouldnt ever be able manage on my own....wasnt until i WAS on my own that i realised that i had been managing on my own for 37 years.

chin up. think positive. always.xx

pineapple

Invalidation wrote: »

I would suggest you wake up and smell the sunshine. You are alive, probably heathy and have a house and 2 kids. A lot more than others.
Try being disabled and near confined to a house for 20+ years as life goes on around you, then live in fear of her Majesty's (spit) Government harassment of the disabled.
Get out and get a life and stop feeling sorry for yourself. You're a long time dead.

It's a matter of perception IMO. You can be a glass half full or a glass half empty person. I could list bad things starting with my childhood and continuing to the current day. But I choose to focus on the good things and I appreciate what I have. There are others a lot worse off.
Also when you are in a negative mindset, you attract negativity and vice versa. That was actually demonstrated in a recent TV programme.
There is a little exercise we can do - which is to write down and think of three good things about your life before going to bed. It helps re-tune the mind.

pollypenny

There is a little exercise we can do - which is to write down and think of three good things about your life before going to bed. It helps re-tune the mind.


I like that idea very much! I can be a pessimistic b at times - too much of a worrier!

chesky369

Perhaps the OP suffers from SAD - I know I do a bit. However, today the sun was shining in my part of the world (London) and it was not freezing cold. Time to get outside in the garden.

[Deleted User]

Depression clouds everything and is like living not just under a cloud but IN one & its not until you come THROUGH it the other end you realise that you now CAN smell the coffee or roses or sunshine you couldn't enjoy before! x

Invalidation

ceegee wrote: »

I am sorry to be so miserable on here. The reason I posted is, I think, in the hope that there are wise people here who can perhaps impart some words of wisdom........

Yes, I can

Get a life ! theres millions worse off than you.