seperation and default on mortgage payment by partner.

hrm34

It may seem like I am an evil witch who wishes out on the street but believe me I am not. I appreciate that yes.my partner has liability here also but as previously mentioned we- and it is a we as my partner and I have joint finances- CANNOT afford to pay anything at all towards this mortgage and the situation was agreed when the house was left for her to live in. It was agreed that my partner would remain on the mortgage simply to.keep a roof over his sons head and would not expect any payout from any sale. I am just very cross at moment as the default is causing strain o. our relationship which is not fair at all. the ex will never afford the mortgage and as so othere options where she ia able to claim the help.she needs would be better for all. Just ny opinion..

DVardysShadow

hrm34 wrote: »

It may seem like I am an evil witch who wishes out on the street but believe me I am not. I appreciate that yes.my partner has liability here also but as previously mentioned we- and it is a we as my partner and I have joint finances- CANNOT afford to pay anything at all towards this mortgage and the situation was agreed when the house was left for her to live in. It was agreed that my partner would remain on the mortgage simply to.keep a roof over his sons head and would not expect any payout from any sale. I am just very cross at moment as the default is causing strain o. our relationship which is not fair at all. the ex will never afford the mortgage and as so othere options where she ia able to claim the help.she needs would be better for all. Just ny opinion..

This is your problem. You ARE the Evil Witch, by virtue of your office, even if you can't quite make it in your own name.

You have a hard job of it, because you have no influence. And when you do get involved, you are of course an interested party in an argument which is essentially about the division of resources between 2 households.

So this is one which your partner has to resolve. If the house is currently sustainable, then the advice on this thread is that it has to be sustained. If it is not sustainable, this has to be addressed. But, by virtue of your office as the Evil Witch, you cannot be involved in the repartitioning of resources, nor can you be seen to use the need to address the housing issue as an opportunity to carve out more resources for your household!

You can only whisper in your partners ear. He has to do the negotiating. About all he can do is paint the picture of where things could go if ex continues to default. She could be defaulting out of spite. Or she genuinely may not be able to meet the commitment. If it is the latter, your partner needs to work with her to sort out a different way forward.

You need to understand that she will be reluctant to give up the house, because it gives her considerable clout over your partner. Once there is no joint mortgage, she is a busted flush. But breaking the mortgage ties may require a nuclear option, like your partner going bankrupt.

hrm34

yes I do.understand that I.am ' the witch' and legally this is not my.business. However any decision that is made will financially effect my future and that I have a right to be concerned about. I am not interested in ANY financial gain, so please take that suggestion out, apart from the fact that there wouldn't be any I am not interested in gaining from my.partners past I'd rather not be having these issues at ll!! I am also as I said not interested is shipping her out- I love my step son and would never want anything to.hurt him including a house.possession.

I just hope that this can be rectified, the only way.forward that WE- myself and my partner- can see is to sell the property before repossession which is far better than.allowing it to.be forcibly repossessed. Now all we have to do.is discuss these options.with the ex, the way our finances are right now it may be the only option.

DVardysShadow

The suggestion that you are in it for gain, unfortunately stands. I'm not suggesting that this is what you are doing, I am saying that this is what you will be seen to be doing. And as it probably forms a big part of your problem, you need to face up to the issue.

hrm34

well that is simply not true. I have absolutely nothing to gain from this situation and shed loads to loose. there is no equity in the property and we would not want any share of it anyway. We currently pay CSA that is all and that situation will not change so I see no ffinancial benefit to us at all!!! Our concern is the detrimental effect on our credit and in turn our financial future. I take offence to this comment on my.character that is unfounded and quite frankly wrong!!

I came here fir advice and friendly chat about my situation not to be accused of being what is essentially a money grabbing evil witch!

many thanks for all advice, in terms of our options and legalities it has matched my expectations unfortunately and I thank those who have given thair advice on this difficult situation. regards hx

getmore4less

Bottom line while no one is paying the mortgage both of them will get trashed Credits.

In the absence of the OH ex taking on the debt the house needs to be sold.

If in negative equity on the mortgage, OH mum has lost her input.

If it can be sold to pay off the mortgage thats the best allround except for mum who has been a bit silly giving them £40k.


The other option is to kick her out and move in yourselves that way you have some control over the situation.


Kids will be an issue whatever you try to do.

DVardysShadow

hrm34 wrote: »

well that is simply not true. I have absolutely nothing to gain from this situation and shed loads to loose. there is no equity in the property and we would not want any share of it anyway. We currently pay CSA that is all and that situation will not change so I see no ffinancial benefit to us at all!!! Our concern is the detrimental effect on our credit and in turn our financial future. I take offence to this comment on my.character that is unfounded and quite frankly wrong!!

I came here fir advice and friendly chat about my situation not to be accused of being what is essentially a money grabbing evil witch!

many thanks for all advice, in terms of our options and legalities it has matched my expectations unfortunately and I thank those who have given thair advice on this difficult situation. regards hx

No, you are getting yourself into the wrong tizz here. You could force me to remove all references I have made that you are getting upset about. But your problem would remain. Whether or not I think these things is irrelevant [as a matter of fact I don't]. Your problem is that you will be perceived to be the evil witch. Now if you are not going to let me point out that you will be perceived as the evil witch, you condemn yourself to be so taken.

Being the evil witch is just how anyone in your position will be perceived by the ex. That is the problem you need to address.

Tjrw1985

Complicated one here.

Firstly, as mentioned they are jointly and severally liable.
Secondly, Has your partner advised the lender of his new address, this is a legal requirement under the mortgage terms. It would also mean if she misses a payment he knows about it straight away.

If she would qualify for help with rent on a rented property, I would assume she is on JSA? If she is she should be obtaining a MI12 form from the jobcentre which helps with mortgage interest payments.