Buying on a budget for a completely materialistic family?

kr15snw

My family are all about big spending and flashy gifts. Unfortunately I'm the only one on a low income (both brothers live at home rent free and earn a lot).

I however am mid divorce, have just had to move out of my marital home into a house share and so am seriously skint

So Christmas on a budget this year! I've managed to sort my parents (have converted a favourite photo of theirs into a watercolour painting and am getting it framed) but I now have to buy for:

Brother (33 into gadgets, cars and anything expensive)
Brother (37 into cars, football and dvds. But not as flashy as above brother)
Nan (should be ok, possibly a nice plant?)
Brothers Girlfriend (met once for 5 minutes?)
Brothers Girlfriends Kids (6 girl and 12 boy, never met either!)

I'm annoyed at the latter 3 as I don't know them. Normally I'd buy a nice family gift but mum says I have to buy them something they want off their lists??? (yes I know, I know)

I'm really struggling this year as handmade gifts don't go down well. My family are all about flashing the cash, but they forget I don't have it.

Mum has offered to buy my brothers a DVD of their list from me so they get 'what they want' but thats so not the point!! I'd rather get them something small but thoughtful!

I do know what my brothers will go and spend hundreds on my parents, they do every year

pinkie_pie

you've met them once or not at all and they have lists????

pinkie_pie

Have you actually sat down with your family, or at least your parents, and spelt out for them that you have no money this year?

nearlyrich

Token gift for the kids adults are old enough to understand you are skint.

Bumpmakesfour

Hold on...your brothers GF and kids..have LISTS??:eek: If your mum hadn't insisted would you have bought the kids you've never met or the GF a present?
I'd get your brothers a dvd or whatever then make some christmas sweets,cakes,biscuits whatever,add a bottle of wine/bucks fizz and that'd be a nice thoughtful token gift for the others you barely know x

Alligg

Do not be made to feel guilty about not spending a lot of money,stick to what you can afford and be happy knowing its the thought that counts.if they do not appreciate what they get then that is up to them.my ex's family were the same so one year I got them alternative charity gifts.His sister was gobsmacked but then a few months later when she lost her job actually stopped and thought about it and understood why I bought what I did,it was a token gift and everything I got was related to that person in some way.I got his sis a cook set for a family as she is a chef,his other sis a school book set as she is a teacher,his mum a goat!!!!!,I got my family the same kind of thing and they loved it.Oxfam do some fun things as well as save the children,just google charity gifts.
hope this helps.

MaggieBaking

What's your budget per kid? For the sake of arguments I would buy them a present, but I wouldn't buy it from their list.

skintscotslass

I'm gob smacked! Will you be seeing the children on Christmas Day? If you are, I'd probably buy them something small, certainly not from a 'list'. Or a box of chocolates for the three of them. Try explaining to your Mum how skint you are. She possibly doesnt appreciate it.

kms26

I was in a very similar situation last year.

1. What is the maximum you can afford to spend?
2. Do your brothers buy for you?
3. Do you have kids yourself and if so will they receive presents?

If you are going to buy for your brothers girlfriend could you not buy something for them both?

The kids i would check out M and S, BHS and Debenhams etc that all have 50% off toys etc at least then you could get something that looks expensive

Have a look at their list and search online etc see if you can find them cheaper etc (although having to use the list i think is a cheek!)

What about a personalised calendar there is a deal on the grabbit board or freebies board

Personally i would tell your mum you can't afford alot but you will get them something as a token. PJs are always good


I hope some of that helps x

Rikki

I don't buy presents for my brothers at that age. A bottle of wine and tin of biscuits/sweets for the house.

In your situation if you are seeing the two children over Christmas I would get then a small gift or voucher for books or music.

You have to come to a point when you draw the line under present buying as it becomes expensive and you loose track of people life styles. It's no good buying for the sake of buying and the gift not appreciated.

FiFi_Mad_Mum

Make the kids a cinema hamper with a couple of cheap dvd's and some microwaveable popcorn and a couple of tubes of sweets.
DVD's less than a fiver:
Tooth Fairy, Underdog, Marmaduke, Cars Maters Tall Tales, Alpha & Omega, Gullivers Travels, Animals United, Yogi Bear, The Spy Next Door, Disney Buddies The Search for Santa Paws.

Get Brothers GF some cheap toiletries in a nice gift bag (look in charity shops) or you could get them all gift sets on a 3 for 2 offer, they might not find it flashy but it is something they all use.

HTH FiFi :rudolf: