Bridesmaid Invite - Assistance all brides please...

glasgowchick

Hi Ladies,

I had the lovely pleasure of being asked to be a bridesmaid for a long term school friend last night. The date has been set as 10/11/2012 so not long to go and venue and chapel have been booked. There will be a MOH and 3 of us plus a flower girl.

I want to be as much use to B2B as possible, so can you let me know the best things your maids did for you and what I can avoid !!!!!

Any tips would be handy.

Thanks in advance.

P.S- I am not married however being 27 have attended around 9 weddings in the past 2 years.

sugarwalsh

I suspect the fact tht you have already taken the time to find out what you should do indicates you will be a brilliant bridesmaid...

Megan

VICSH

Here are a few things I wish I would have said to one of my BM's

1) dont order a dress too small for you to diet into causes so much stress for the bride worrying about if it will fit and then 2 weeks befroe trying to fit a dress maker to alter it to make it fit 2 sizes bigger.
2) remember it is your friends day as a bride, however much you will look great what you have to do is more than look pretty in a dress
3) one of the things you should be doing is keeping in contact wiht your B2B so jsut a text or emial to see how they are before the wedding, ask if there is anything to help with, reassure them etc etc
4) go through lists with the bride if she is a list type person and take control of a few smaller items.
5) dont organise a hen do that 1) no one can afford 2) not suitable for me and more about you getting away for a weekend
6) whatever you do dont tell the bride 3 weeks before the wedding she is a fat (after losing 4 stone)

Not meant to sound negative at all but these are issues I have had with one of my bridesmaids the other 3 have been great but my oldest friend has turned into a bit of a b1tch about it all it could be a bit of green eyed monster lurking but never mind.

I echo what the above poster as said that the fact you are asking shows you will be a good choice, ultimately my best Bm's have been completely selfless and fun the other one more difficult.

glasgowchick

VICSH wrote: »

Here are a few things I wish I would have said to one of my BM's

1) dont order a dress too small for you to diet into causes so much stress for the bride worrying about if it will fit and then 2 weeks befroe trying to fit a dress maker to alter it to make it fit 2 sizes bigger.

Thanks for the reply, I am currently a size 12 and keen on keep fit and running so plan to order a dress in my current size so that should be ok. I will be on hand to go to any classes with the bride as well as she want's to loose a little weight however maybe max 1 stone. She is really pretty.

2) remember it is your friends day as a bride, however much you will look great what you have to do is more than look pretty in a dress

I understand this fully.

3) one of the things you should be doing is keeping in contact wiht your B2B so jsut a text or emial to see how they are before the wedding, ask if there is anything to help with, reassure them etc etc

Yes, I think reassurance is a very good idea.

4) go through lists with the bride if she is a list type person and take control of a few smaller items.

As she has just started the planning I have suggested a Spreadsheet and she liked the idea of it, I think we are going to meet next week and create a masterlist and then she can do some delegation. In her words- I am the level headed one, so hopefully that will ring true.

5) dont organise a hen do that 1) no one can afford 2) not suitable for me and more about you getting away for a weekend

I feel this may be a problem area as the other maids I know are big Ibiza fans, however I will see what the bride wants and work around that.

6) whatever you do dont tell the bride 3 weeks before the wedding she is a fat (after losing 4 stone)

Unless the bride starts stress eating this shouldn't be an issue !

Not meant to sound negative at all but these are issues I have had with one of my bridesmaids the other 3 have been great but my oldest friend has turned into a bit of a b1tch about it all it could be a bit of green eyed monster lurking but never mind.

Well, I want to support my friend as much as possible, and all guidance is very very much appreciated, so don't worry about sounding negative.

I echo what the above poster as said that the fact you are asking shows you will be a good choice, ultimately my best Bm's have been completely selfless and fun the other one more difficult.

Thanks again for the reply. x

trying_2_b_good

One of my bridesmaids (who lives local) was my day-to-day support. If I needed to rant, she listened. She came to my dress fittings and helped to choose her dress. She also did a speech on the day

The other (who lives at the other end of the country) was my crafter! She stayed at my house for a few days before the wedding and did the table plan, place cards, post box, table names etc. I'm not very creative and was stressed out at this point (plus would have had to do it at night as had to work).

They both organised the hen do.

Every brides' needs are different - sounds like your well organised and so should be fabulous!

jojo2004

I agree with the other replies - the most important thing you can do is ask your friend what she needs.

My bridesmaids have been amazing. Honestly, truly, amazing. They've listened (and appeared to be interested) in the smallest details, ad nauseam, they've been up for everything I've wanted to do, they've kept in constant touch and offered help in every area. They keep me sane, and make me feel like they care hugely about my wedding and my marriage, and I couldn't ask for better girls around me as my support.

I'd also say, on a practical level, on the wedding day itself, carry a big bag full of all the things she might need (makeup, tissues, spare tights, hairspray etc). Try and make sure she has some food, and a drink when she needs it. Give her space - I was bridesmaid to one of my bridesmaids (IYSWIM), and I made sure that the night before I was her guard dog, and made sure people didn't hassle her too much. She also needed a couple of time outs on the day - it's your job to be on hand to take her off somewhere quiet if she needs a moment. You might also need to take on jobs on the day - corralling guests for pictures, smoothing over details, making sure people are where they should be, and basically being 'there' for her.

You don't have to spend anything, but the most personal touches will be the most appreciated. My bridesmaid organised the most perfect hen do for me, and made a huge amount of stuff that made me love her even more - she even made a pinata! She also arranged for all the hens to contribute a recipe to a personalised photo book, and the time and effort that went into it made me cry (in a good way).

It sounds as if you are going to be an awesome bridesmaid - keep up the great work!

HTH xx

jojo2004

P.S. I'd also suggest getting in touch with your friend's mother - my mum has been my rock, and her being in touch with my bridesmaids has made life even better. Mum had a huge input into my hen do, and that wouldn't have been possible if they hadn't been in contact all the time.

BugglyB

My sister said the best thing I did as her bridesmaid was ask her constantly 'what are you worried about?'and then try and help with it.

The day before the wedding we were in the car and she said 'I so worried the dj won't come!' Now, I'd heard her ring the dj three times in the past three weeks! But still I rang him there and then (under the pretence 'I'm ringing all the suppliers/caterers today as a matter of course') and grilled him about did he know where the venue was.

We laughed about that after the wedding (he did turn up!)