Heading for a split! Please help

Rikki

It maybe a good idea to sell the house, clear all the debt. This way you both have a fresh start.

I don't know all the ins and outs but if you were not together you would not have been able to pay the mortgage for the house.

Her income is considerably more than yours so it enabled you both to take out the loans. You could not do this without her money.

What is definitely yours is any deposit you put down on the house prior to you both getting together.

You will have to talk things through and see what she is looking to do.



Is there a chance it is only an arguement and you just need a little time and space?

EDIT: I type so slow some of this might not be needed.

Rikki

Ian&Kel wrote:

Ohh. Before we got together I was comfortable. A 21k mortgage over 25 years and no debt at all, I was actually earning more. I have only started this job 4 months ago following redundancy which contributed to the debt

Makes me think its only now the pressure of the debt that has caused the split. I think if you could maybe find a way of reducing your debt it could take the stress out of the situation.

There are lots of ways of reducing your outgoings and looking at ways to save money by making a few changes.

Take a look on the debt free wannabe board.

Ian&Kel

Thanks for the response.

I think she is more inclined to agree it is a mistake however suggesting we should maybe think about splitting has left me with a little less trust to move to a bigger house together. The fresh start thing was the idea, a house we both chose and of bigger size. It wasn't an argument at all. She suggested moving house would be a bad idea and the old do we make each other happy anymore thing. She has no long term relationship experience where as I do and I know things get a bit more dull and harder work as time progresses. Which is why I thought more talk and work through it. I obviously don't want to spend anymore time in a relationship if its going nowhere. Even though it leaves me up the proverbial creek!

The deposit was only to the tune of 2k or so as the mortgage I took out was only 26 grand and affordable for me on my own. So I could afford everything before her and it is the joint debt that has now made me unable and the decrease in earnings which will improve in time.

Ian&Kel

Rikki wrote:

Makes me think its only now the pressure of the debt that has caused the split. I think if you could maybe find a way of reducing your debt it could take the stress out of the situation.

There are lots of ways of reducing your outgoings and looking at ways to save money by making a few changes.

Take a look on the debt free wannabe board.

You see I fully agree but what comes with the debt is no money to go out and do things like we did which leaves us caged together as it were. Paying off debt would be most sensible without moving but other than remortgaging that would leave current payments higher and less money to just relax/travel/socialise.

I guess tomorrows talk may go one way or the other.

Rikki

Maybe your thoughts are all out of control a thinking the worse. Wait until you talk tomorrow before you make any big decissions.

Think about what you want too.

You must be practical too.
You are both jointly responsible / liable for the loans. You should both contribute to these if you split up. Work out what you will have to pay monthly for these.

The mortgage is in your sole name so you alone are responsible for this. If the mortgage is a repayment mortgage you can convert this to interest only.It will lower the monthly payments. ( Life cover is needed if you wish to leave it to someone)

Leave the equity situation to see if it comes up.

Rikki

Ian&Kel wrote:

You see I fully agree but what comes with the debt is no money to go out and do things like we did which leaves us caged together as it were. Paying off debt would be most sensible without moving but other than remortgaging that would leave current payments higher and less money to just relax/travel/socialise.

I guess tomorrows talk may go one way or the other.

Post your State Of Affairs on the debt free board. You will be surprised the ways you can save money only by making minor tweeks.

Reduce a service, alter credit card companies, change suppliers, reduce your shopping bill and just show you where you are wasting money without realising it.

Once you've improved on your job you adjust accordingly. Pay more off your debt quicker.:p

You sound calm enough, just wait and see. Don't write the relationship off over money.

Ian&Kel

Well the worst has come to it and we have definitely split!

One thing I didn't add is the fact I have a car worth around 15k.

Anyone else think I will be ok? I think I could do with some solutions!!