Dont know what to do next

ladysparklexx

I have really got myself in a bit of a state with mine and my husbands debts. I have been poorly for around 14 years and still am now, over the years a borrowed to put myself through university, havig children, to pay for electric, food, the car breaking down, moving house etc. I have been terrible with money which is really bad considering the job I do for others.

I have been trying every month to pay but they have been spiralling over the years and I can no longer juggle them anymore. After having two of our debts passed onto debt collectors, and many many many sleepless nights, being grumpy with the children basically being a nightmare to live with I am not on at the bottom of the steep hill of sorting everything out.

In the past I have bought to much for my children as copensation in my eyes for not being very well and for being a rubbish mum because of this. I have had help the last two years and I am recovered enough that I work 21 hours a week. My husband works full time.

At first I wasnt sure who to talk to, I have been reading for the past couple of weeks all of the comments on here and you really are all an inspiration. I then contemplated approaching a business friend who deals with these sort of matters, who also as my husband pointed out lives in a very big house with new car etc.

I though after reading spend that last one and a half hours on the phone to CCCS who were really helpful. She has gone through our income and my debts with me and is going to ring my husband up this afternoon to get his permission to pull up his credit file and for me to continue talking to them about his debts.

The though of them having all of my credit cards used to bother me, now it doesnt they can keep the lot. I just want to beable to pick the post up without a panic attack, or answer the phone without caller display. Also to sleep at night and not worry all night that I am about to loose everything.

We have an awful lot of unsecure debt, we are upto date with our mortgage, rent, (we are in a part buy scheme), council tax, water etc. Although the last lot of water went on the credit card.

I have only had the initial phone call and I am booked into speak to a counciler next monday afternoon. I need to be brave and open up all the letters and find out the exact amounts I owe on the items that did not show up on my credit file. I also need to persuade my husband that this is the right way forward for us. He believes that as he is now starting a part time job that we will then beable to hit our repayments again.

My hueg concern is that if we do then we are never going to get out of debt as we will always be paying just above the insterest part back.

Sorry for my long going around in circles message, but I am doing the right thing arent I? I dont really know what the next steps will be but I also wanted to let anyone else know that please do phone someone if your stuck, I now realise that my front door isnt about to be knocked down etc, not that I understand much else.

dark^knight

Hi,

Sorry to hear about your situation. You've taken the first and the hardest in dealing with your debts, and it will take time get through it but it can be done.

You might want to post your SOA on here so people can find ways of helping you.

^dk^

ladysparklexx

Thank you. I will post it in the next couple of days as CCCS are trying to help me to work out a budget as they have said I have been spending too little in some areas as they are not long term financially viable. They have also said they are going to try and buget some money in for repairs as my house currently has no upstairs lights, heating or hot water. Also a tile moved on the roof so this needs sorting out. At the moment I do not have the money to sort these out, and as I have children they have said these also need to be a priorty.

Im struggling even to work out a budget for food, as we have spent £50 in the last 6 weeks as I now have a nearly empty chect freezer, fridge freezer and cuboards in the kitchen. How much should a family of four be spending, I have got one who has got cealiac disease and a dairy allergy so is a bit more expensive to feed that the other.

joedenise

"How much should a family of four be spending, I have got one who has got cealiac disease and a dairy allergy so is a bit more expensive to feed that the other."

I don't think there is any "should" about this, you have to do it for as little as possible but buying and using good ingredients. Can you get any help with costs towards your childrens' food? I believe you can get help with food for caeliacs on prescription - not absolutely certain about this but believe my daughter's friend has a caeliac child and gets help with gluten free flour, bread etc.

I think you are doing the right thing by contacting CCCS and I hope your husband also gets on board with sorting this out.

Denise

RAS

ladysparklexx wrote: »

Thank you. I will post it in the next couple of days as CCCS are trying to help me to work out a budget as they have said I have been spending too little in some areas as they are not long term financially viable. They have also said they are going to try and buget some money in for repairs as my house currently has no upstairs lights, heating or hot water. Also a tile moved on the roof so this needs sorting out. At the moment I do not have the money to sort these out, and as I have children they have said these also need to be a priorty.

Im struggling even to work out a budget for food, as we have spent £50 in the last 6 weeks as I now have a nearly empty chect freezer, fridge freezer and cuboards in the kitchen. How much should a family of four be spending, I have got one who has got cealiac disease and a dairy allergy so is a bit more expensive to feed that the other.

Hi

These things are priority. With respect to food, you really do need to spend a lot more. People had reckoned on £60 per month per person, but food prices have risen a lot in the last year.

In the short term, it may be worth contacting theb Trussell Trust who run food banks, if there is one close to you. I suspect that if you explained, they could help http://www.trusselltrust.org/ with the child with allergies as well.

ladysparklexx

Thank you so much for your comments. With regards to the food we have never had much money for food as I went straight from university to having twins six weeks later so I have always tried to budget this bit although I do have a lot to learn. My daughter gets 11 points of perscriptions a month, this provides us with all of her bread, and 2 bags of pasta everything else we have to cook from scratch.

I will bear the trussell trust in mind but I will use this as a last resort as we are associated with them work wise, and spent the whole of the evening the other week sort through shoe boxes. There are so many people who are worse off than us.

I had my coucilling session tonight with CCCS, the lady was really good she said that we have two options an IVA of a DMP. She has said and we are in agreement that an DMP is the best way forward for us at the moment paying what she said we can afford our plan will be an 8 years long on a joint plan. As my husband is considering taking on extra work and in a year or two I might be better and able to work more this will then reduce our term when we can pay more.

I know to some 8 years is long but considering how long we have been in debt it really isnt that long.

I also braved my letter threatening me with a CCJ. On there advice I telephoned them and explained my change of address etc and they said thank you for letting us know but we have passed the debt on!!!!!! I then phoned these people up and they were absoultey lovely with me. I explained the situtaion and said that I wanted to pay off my debt but couldnt all at once, I explained the DMP that will be going into place on the 1st of Jan and he took my reference number and explained that I would need to make a token payment. I have paid £20 and he was lovely. Im sure all the rest will not be the same but its a start and for the first time in I have put the oven on for me to eat tonight in about a week.

They did also suggest I apply for DLA for both my son and myself, and have given me a support number to contact as last time my sons got rejected as his consultant was on holiday a locum filled it in who had never seen him. I didnt have the energy to fight it then, but I do now.

dancingfairy

In terms of how much to budget for certain things I think a best guesstimate is probably the best idea. You want to try and strike a balance between living on next to nothing and paying it all off the debts v going mad buying loads. I'm not sure how old your children are but 400 for 4 is not too bad, in my opinion.
CCCS will let you know where things are too high/low to be sustainable.
best of luck
df

ladysparklexx

Thank you, they have come back with a suggestion of £100 per week for four and a dog. The only figure she had said my creditors will have an issue with was my petrol spending which is a shocking £60 a week. I explained that I have a son who cannot walk far and that I have to drive him everywhere and because of my health I have to drive everywhere, if I didnt then it could lead to me not being well enough to manage working my 21 hours a week. She said that this should be fine as I can provide medical evidence and has be written onto my file.

Husband is now on board I think he finally realises I cannot manage it all by myself anymore, I think he needed to get over the shock of how bad it is, which I had the realisation a couple of weeks ago. He has even texted to check I am ok which is not like him when he is out working.