OHs - Bringing them along for the ride

klfairy

I'm finding my OH a bit of a challenge in the money-saving department. He doesn't like talking about money, although does tell me what he's spent - when I ask. I've prioritised one of his CCs because it's got a stupid APR and not a huge amount on it, so it's a prime candidate for zapping in a short space of time (I reckon it could be gone in 3 months, perhaps less).

He's just lacking in enthusiasm. I think if I left him to it he'd be happy to pay the minimum off for the rest of his natural life. He currently gets paid weekly by cheque, which is going directly into our joint billing account, which means I've got control of all our finances (he could log on but doesn't). In January he starts his new job and will be paid in the normal way into a bank account, which will be his own. He will then transfer money into our joint account.

So, do I hand him back his debts and let him sort them himself, or try to encourage him to leave them with the joint account so I can target all our debts in priority order? If I hand them back to him I only have my own to worry about, which are lower in priority than his.

I'm really, really hoping that between now and January I do such a fantastic job of managing our finances that he's inspired and enthusiastic and happy to either get on and sort his out himself, or let me continue doing them.

Any thoughts, advice, experience?

Tixy

Ideally I'd say it would be great to get him to buy in to the idea of debt busting and take back some control of paying off his debts - the reason being if he doesn't buy in are you sure he won't just take out more cards etc?

have you tried the demotivator tool? or tried a minimum payment calculator to show him how much it would cost in interest to pay off his £400 card if he only pays the minimum each month? Will that motivate him into paying them off? Or how about working out how long it will take to clear all your CCs if you only pay minimums (its likely to be 30years plus or so)?

That said if you can't get him to buy in then I'd keep control of debt repayments for now, so you know what is happening, making sure he pays you the amount you need into the joint account - and let him start by just learning to budget his spending money or whatever will be left in his own account.

Does he have a smart phone? and does he like gadgets and apps on his phone etc? could you get him interested by trying to find a spending diary app on his phone ( or some similar money management apps.

klfairy

I will show him the demotivators, thanks for the tip!

I doubt he would take out more cards because I don't think he'd be able to now. He missed a few payments on the ones he's got (head in the sand) so I don't think anywhere would let him have one. He's already said he doesn't want any overdraft or card again. Thankfully.

timbstoke

If he thinks like I used to, talking to him about how long it'll take to pay off at the minimum rate won't work. Instead, find out how much the interest is each month, and how much his actual repayments are. Point out to him that every single month, without fail, he's throwing away this much money (the interest) for no reason whatsoever. Tell him that if he lets you handle the finances until it's all sorted, he'll then have this much (his repayments) extra in his pocket to spend every month. That's how I had to see it.

MFWannabe

I have to agree with timbstoke. If he can see he will be gaining then he's more likely to buy into it. I would definitely keep hold of the finances for now as from what you've said he won't do anything with them if you hand them back to him
Hopefully in a few months time when you've blitzed some of those debts and he has extra money in his bank account then he'll see that it makes sense. Maybe there's something he would like to buy in the future when you are both debt free? Maybe you could tempt him that way. When all the debts are cleared you can save up for that special item he's always wanted

Standingtall

Hi Kfairy. I never did find a way to interest my (now ex) other half (well halves really as there are two of them:rotfl:) in money saving. I did just have a thought though, but clearly the idea is untested, what about a competition. Getting him to race you in paying off his debt (you choose a similar sized debt of your own in order to compete). This could then move on to a savings competition.

It is just a thought, but since men can be naturally competitive ...

klfairy

timbstoke wrote: »

If he thinks like I used to, talking to him about how long it'll take to pay off at the minimum rate won't work. Instead, find out how much the interest is each month, and how much his actual repayments are. Point out to him that every single month, without fail, he's throwing away this much money (the interest) for no reason whatsoever. Tell him that if he lets you handle the finances until it's all sorted, he'll then have this much (his repayments) extra in his pocket to spend every month. That's how I had to see it.

I think this is probably the most likely idea to work. Now, can anyone tell me how to calculate it, please? :rotfl:

klfairy

Standingtall wrote: »

Hi Kfairy. I never did find a way to interest my (now ex) other half (well halves really as there are two of them:rotfl:) in money saving. I did just have a thought though, but clearly the idea is untested, what about a competition. Getting him to race you in paying off his debt (you choose a similar sized debt of your own in order to compete). This could then move on to a savings competition.

It is just a thought, but since men can be naturally competitive ...

It would work with me :rotfl: because I'm fiercely competitive (when I know I can win) but strangely not OH.